I too suffer from depression and have dark thoughts but unlike you if my levels are very low, below 2.5, then the instinct to survive kicks in and i still over treat even after 50 years......i assume as i'm not thinking logically this is why i do it......if i'm low at around 3.5 then i am thinking logically and have the necessary number of jelly babies.
I operate quite well on low readings and am lucky that i've never passed out.
Its a strange subject depression and suicide and people get a bit nervous discussing it but i have dealt with it for that long its quite normal for me and am happy to chat about it if i can help ?
Good luck
Tony