Will Birthday treats ruin my strong resolve?

[coby]

Hello everyone.
Bit of a quandary here.
I've been in remission for the best part of three years, with an Ac1 of 36 and 7 at last two yearly appointments.
My daughter and I have recently been through a terrible ordeal, which has resulted in her becoming unable to enjoy going out.
She's 27 years old and a loner, due to Asperger's ... unable to socialize etc
She's looking forward to my 73rd birthday this coming Sunday and, as always, has made me a card and handmade gifts (not seen yet)
She really wants us to have a special tea with cakes and goodies, but what will this do to my strict low carb eating of the past three years.
My biggest fear is losing control and being unable to return to normal eating for me afterwards.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did it affect your routine/eating plan afterwards. Thank you and any tips are most welcome x

 

[lovinglife]

I have almost the exact same situation, my son is 28 and on the spectrum with lots of the same challenges as your daughter, my son very rarely leaves the house then only with me and since Covid won’t go inside anywhere at all!

This is my take on what my priorities are in my situation. My son has had an absolute miserable time and time outside the home with him doing something lovely is a very rare occasion so I put this first and cherish it, one day out isn’t going to undo all your hard work, I make sure I know where I’m going and either look up on line or call them to see what they can offer me.

I agree afternoon tea is a nightmare! Maybe call up the place and explain your whole situation, not just your food requirements but the story around your daughter too, I do this and it’s surprising these days how accommodating places can be. I’m sure they can do little pots of sandwich fillings etc and the cakes are so little - I go for meringue type as they don’t have flour and the cream slows down the absorption of the sugar, a 2 bite strawberry meringue will have about 4g carb. Half of a half of scone with cream no jam

I have seen and been to places that do alternatives to the traditional afternoon tea - I had a gentleman afternoon tea a while back that had more of a ploughman’s vibe with cheese ham pickles etc - I just avoided the bread etc

Go and celebrate and have a lovely time with your daughter, you’ve managed 3 years so 1 meal out and back to plan is your goal and you can do it. Pick somewhere with nice gardens and you can go for a lovely walk afterwards to help

 

[JoKalsbeek]

Hello everyone.
Bit of a quandary here.
I've been in remission for the best part of three years, with an Ac1 of 36 and 7 at last two yearly appointments.
My daughter and I have recently been through a terrible ordeal, which has resulted in her becoming unable to enjoy going out.
She's 27 years old and a loner, due to Asperger's ... unable to socialize etc
She's looking forward to my 73rd birthday this coming Sunday and, as always, has made me a card and handmade gifts (not seen yet)
She really wants us to have a special tea with cakes and goodies, but what will this do to my strict low carb eating of the past three years.
My biggest fear is losing control and being unable to return to normal eating for me afterwards.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did it affect your routine/eating plan afterwards. Thank you and any tips are most welcome x

The most immediate threat to your nice birthday treat is a quick and sudden rise in blood sugars if you indulge for once. It might make you feel unwell, as you're not used to being high anymore, with a racing heart, sweats and maybe some wobbly legs and confusion. Not saying it will happen, but just so you know it might, and that it'll level off again when blood sugars come down (A quick walk around the block might help), so not to panic if it occurs. Might feel scary, but you'll be okay. If you can add in some extra fats, like cream in your tea, it could mitigate the spike some. Whipped cream maybe, assuming there'll be scones?

Who's taking care of the treats? Is she, or are you going out someplace? Because if it's in a restaurant or something, you might be able to get in touch and ask them to (also) provide a charcuterie with cold cuts and cheeses, maybe roll ups instead of fingersandwiches... People are prone to help their customers if they make it clear they're not being difficult just for the heck of it. It'd still be decadent, and you'd still be eating loads rather than picking at something here and there and noticably avoiding foods, but not spiking anywhere near as much if you're just having a token bite here and there of the carby stuff. If your daughter is taking care of the food, maybe suggest some stuff that won't do too much harm to be included.

It's a one-off. Much like people on here who have a special anniversary, or christmas, or whatever other reason they may have to just go with it for once. I had a very, very sugary bit of Indonesian cake, and half a freshly baked massive Stroopwafel cookie at two funerals in short succession, as they were important to the ones we lost, so I partook in their honour... In one case wearing a bracelet and socks sporting licorice all sorts, which I haven't eaten in the past 7 years. I also walked a heck of a lot afterwards. Sometimes we do something because we feel like it is right, if not for our diabetes, then for what our hearts tell us. Because we want to be part of something, because we want to make someone we love happy, because we want to honour someone. You're certainly not the only one to step away from the wagon for a day, or an afternoon.

Key is getting right back on the wagon. And keep in mind that carbs demand carbs, so you will likely have some cravings afterwards. And you know from experience, those pass. If you go into this all ready, though... I think you'll be fine. Just make sure you have cheeses and whatever in the fridge, so when cravings hit, you can eat something that won't spike you until they pass again.

I don't really socialise. People scare the living daylights out of me, and it remains a small miracle that I keep drifting back to the forum, which is people-y. I know how hard it is to go outside when the world doesn't seem to have a place in it for you. You're willing to make an effort, which will likely cost you a few days of carb cravings, to make your daughter happy. That just.... You're making me cry here. Thank you for doing that, or for even entertaining the notion.

And hey... If it's a straight-up high tea, and you can't keto-fy it... Make sure you enjoy the everloving sh*t out of it!

 

[ajbod]

It's a one off, enjoy it to the full, then knuckle down again after. It won't do any harm, and the rise in sugars and associated sensations they can cause, will strengthen your resolve to get back in full control. with your daughters situation i can only seeing this doing a lot of good.

 

[CatsFive]

It's a one off, enjoy it to the full, then knuckle down again after. It won't do any harm, and the rise in sugars and associated sensations they can cause, will strengthen your resolve to get back in full control. with your daughters situation i can only seeing this doing a lot of good.

My thoughts as well. Your daughter will appreciate you enjoying it as well.

 

[coby]

I have almost the exact same situation, my son is 28 and on the spectrum with lots of the same challenges as your daughter, my son very rarely leaves the house then only with me and since Covid won’t go inside anywhere at all!

This is my take on what my priorities are in my situation. My son has had an absolute miserable time and time outside the home with him doing something lovely is a very rare occasion so I put this first and cherish it, one day out isn’t going to undo all your hard work, I make sure I know where I’m going and either look up on line or call them to see what they can offer me.

I agree afternoon tea is a nightmare! Maybe call up the place and explain your whole situation, not just your food requirements but the story around your daughter too, I do this and it’s surprising these days how accommodating places can be. I’m sure they can do little pots of sandwich fillings etc and the cakes are so little - I go for meringue type as they don’t have flour and the cream slows down the absorption of the sugar, a 2 bite strawberry meringue will have about 4g carb. Half of a half of scone with cream no jam

I have seen and been to places that do alternatives to the traditional afternoon tea - I had a gentleman afternoon tea a while back that had more of a ploughman’s vibe with cheese ham pickles etc - I just avoided the bread etc

Go and celebrate and have a lovely time with your daughter, you’ve managed 3 years so 1 meal out and back to plan is your goal and you can do it. Pick somewhere with nice gardens and you can go for a lovely walk afterwards to help

Ooh now that really sounds great! I keep imagining how an alcoholic can restrain from drinking for years and then one drink can take him/her straight back there. Not sure if it's the same with food but it IS an addiction! Thank you for your thoughts, and obviously you can really relate with your son xx

 

[MrsA2]

Another take on it would be to bake a lc version of high tea. Think want you'd like to eat then Google "keto" in front of it eg keto scones and soemthings bound to come up. Some of the recipes are very Amercian, and some very high in artifical sweeteners. I like the English measurements ones on here, plenty to choose from

Search: 45 results found for "cake"

Simple UK low carb & keto recipes, information, cookbooks and more. From low carb breads to family friendly keto dinners, we've got something for everyone.

www.ketofitnessclub.com

This has the added bonus of freezing any leftover in single portions, then you can one out whenever you want.
I always have 1 or 2 bakes in the freezer and just take a piece or 2 with me if I know I'm going somewhere where those no low carb on offer.

You know you best whether 1 day off would put you fully back on a slippery slope, but you might also find you no longer like a lot of the old food...I can t stand sliced bread any more and milk chocolate tastes like cheap grainy fat.. and I don't think its Cadburys that have changed, its me!

 

[KennyA]

Hello everyone.
Bit of a quandary here.
I've been in remission for the best part of three years, with an Ac1 of 36 and 7 at last two yearly appointments.
My daughter and I have recently been through a terrible ordeal, which has resulted in her becoming unable to enjoy going out.
She's 27 years old and a loner, due to Asperger's ... unable to socialize etc
She's looking forward to my 73rd birthday this coming Sunday and, as always, has made me a card and handmade gifts (not seen yet)
She really wants us to have a special tea with cakes and goodies, but what will this do to my strict low carb eating of the past three years.
My biggest fear is losing control and being unable to return to normal eating for me afterwards.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did it affect your routine/eating plan afterwards. Thank you and any tips are most welcome x

Your problem isn't the one meal out. It's the meals that come after that.

You know you will have to be back on the horse straight away, but doing it will make your daughter happy. That's important too.

For what it's worth, in your shoes, I'd do it, have everything, knowing before I started that it wasn't happening again anyway soon.

 

[coby]

The most immediate threat to your nice birthday treat is a quick and sudden rise in blood sugars if you indulge for once. It might make you feel unwell, as you're not used to being high anymore, with a racing heart, sweats and maybe some wobbly legs and confusion. Not saying it will happen, but just so you know it might, and that it'll level off again when blood sugars come down (A quick walk around the block might help), so not to panic if it occurs. Might feel scary, but you'll be okay. If you can add in some extra fats, like cream in your tea, it could mitigate the spike some. Whipped cream maybe, assuming there'll be scones?

Who's taking care of the treats? Is she, or are you going out someplace? Because if it's in a restaurant or something, you might be able to get in touch and ask them to (also) provide a charcuterie with cold cuts and cheeses, maybe roll ups instead of fingersandwiches... People are prone to help their customers if they make it clear they're not being difficult just for the heck of it. It'd still be decadent, and you'd still be eating loads rather than picking at something here and there and noticably avoiding foods, but not spiking anywhere near as much if you're just having a token bite here and there of the carby stuff. If your daughter is taking care of the food, maybe suggest some stuff that won't do too much harm to be included.

It's a one-off. Much like people on here who have a special anniversary, or christmas, or whatever other reason they may have to just go with it for once. I had a very, very sugary bit of Indonesian cake, and half a freshly baked massive Stroopwafel cookie at two funerals in short succession, as they were important to the ones we lost, so I partook in their honour... In one case wearing a bracelet and socks sporting licorice all sorts, which I haven't eaten in the past 7 years. I also walked a heck of a lot afterwards. Sometimes we do something because we feel like it is right, if not for our diabetes, then for what our hearts tell us. Because we want to be part of something, because we want to make someone we love happy, because we want to honour someone. You're certainly not the only one to step away from the wagon for a day, or an afternoon.

Key is getting right back on the wagon. And keep in mind that carbs demand carbs, so you will likely have some cravings afterwards. And you know from experience, those pass. If you go into this all ready, though... I think you'll be fine. Just make sure you have cheeses and whatever in the fridge, so when cravings hit, you can eat something that won't spike you until they pass again.

I don't really socialise. People scare the living daylights out of me, and it remains a small miracle that I keep drifting back to the forum, which is people-y. I know how hard it is to go outside when the world doesn't seem to have a place in it for you. You're willing to make an effort, which will likely cost you a few days of carb cravings, to make your daughter happy. That just.... You're making me cry here. Thank you for doing that, or for even entertaining the notion.

And hey... If it's a straight-up high tea, and you can't keto-fy it... Make sure you enjoy the everloving sh*t out of it!

Awww Do you know I'm amazed at just how everyone 'gets it', in that it's to do something normal with my daughter. Yes she is worth the risk. Absolutely she is. She will want me to eat whatever she chooses and it will make her feel special even though it's MY birthday haha, but she can't leave the house without me so it's all really important. Yes my main worry is how I will be affected after being so very low carb. I also fast a great deal too so I know that I will feel extremely full and expect that to happen. Thank you so much for your input xx

 

[coby]

It's a one off, enjoy it to the full, then knuckle down again after. It won't do any harm, and the rise in sugars and associated sensations they can cause, will strengthen your resolve to get back in full control. with your daughters situation i can only seeing this doing a lot of good.

Thank you. I do hope so. xx

 

[coby]

Your problem isn't the one meal out. It's the meals that come after that.

You know you will have to be back on the horse straight away, but doing it will make your daughter happy. That's important too.

For what it's worth, in your shoes, I'd do it, have everything, knowing before I started that it wasn't happening again anyway soon.

You are spot on that it's the 'after' that concerns me. I am testing my resolve by doing this. I might find that I don't like any of those goodies after this length of time of course! Also I am going to dread testing my blood glucose levels when we return home. xx

 

[Antje77]

Also I am going to dread testing my blood glucose levels when we return home. xx

So don't?

It's not as if you plan to repeat this meal on a regular basis so there's nothing to be learned from the actual number.
It's your birthday, celebrate with your daughter, enjoy, and go back to normal the next day.

 

[coby]

So don't?

It's not as if you plan to repeat this meal on a regular basis so there's nothing to be learned from the actual number.
It's your birthday, celebrate with your daughter, enjoy, and go back to normal the next day.

You're right!
Thank you xx

 

[Lamont D]

It's one day off!
Enjoy your party.
Spoil yourself.
After a sleep and a fast, it should be back to 'your normal ' readings.
And no one else will be any of the wiser.

Best wishes to you and your daughter.

Have you considered a special meal rather than a 'tea'?
For a special birthday of mine, it was an Indian, and the choice of low carb foods was very good!

 

[Mallyman]

Hello everyone.
Bit of a quandary here.
I've been in remission for the best part of three years, with an Ac1 of 36 and 7 at last two yearly appointments.
My daughter and I have recently been through a terrible ordeal, which has resulted in her becoming unable to enjoy going out.
She's 27 years old and a loner, due to Asperger's ... unable to socialize etc
She's looking forward to my 73rd birthday this coming Sunday and, as always, has made me a card and handmade gifts (not seen yet)
She really wants us to have a special tea with cakes and goodies, but what will this do to my strict low carb eating of the past three years.
My biggest fear is losing control and being unable to return to normal eating for me afterwards.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did it affect your routine/eating plan afterwards. Thank you and any tips are most welcome x

I spent 11.5 years on dialysis. Potassium and Phosphates were my enemy then. But I was told early on. Eat everything in safe quantities. It worked for me. That and a wholesome dose of will control. I wish you luck. PS. A piece of cake is a 30 minute exercise. A good trade off.

 

[Outlier]

I can't add much to the super advice you have already been given, but I would suggest you fill up on diabetes-friendly food before you go out - then you will still be able to enjoy the one-off stuff in the eatery, but you will want less, and maybe be able to adjust sandwiches so you only eat one piece of bread not both, and some of the cake not all. If you already know the venue, it's worth phoning them and seeing if they have some diabetes-friendly options. I have always had a very positive response when doing this.

Whatever shape the day takes - it will be wonderful! Something you and your daughter will remember with huge happiness.

 

[coby]

I can't add much to the super advice you have already been given, but I would suggest you fill up on diabetes-friendly food before you go out - then you will still be able to enjoy the one-off stuff in the eatery, but you will want less, and maybe be able to adjust sandwiches so you only eat one piece of bread not both, and some of the cake not all. If you already know the venue, it's worth phoning them and seeing if they have some diabetes-friendly options. I have always had a very positive response when doing this.

Whatever shape the day takes - it will be wonderful! Something you and your daughter will remember with huge happiness.

@Outlier many thanks for your thoughts.
My daughter wants me to eat whatever she eats, and whatever she has chosen for us. This is because we never eat the same meals as a rule, so she hopes to make it feel something unique and special to her too. She has had food issues for her whole life and always been underweight, so to make her happy and feel included in 'my' day, this is what she has asked of me.
I am feeling braver today thanks to all the support I have received so feel more positive that our little celebration tea out on Sunday will not do too much harm ( or break my resolve)
I shall let you all know how it goes, and once again thank you so much x

 

[Mallyman]

Ooh now that really sounds great! I keep imagining how an alcoholic can restrain from drinking for years and then one drink can take him/her straight back there. Not sure if it's the same with food but it IS an addiction! Thank you for your thoughts, and obviously you can really relate with your son xx

People need to learn to take control of their condition and not let the condition take control of them. Otherwise we will be reduced to fully compliant robots. It ruins lives. However to do this, willpower is required. Without it there is no hope of having fun because one will not try to break free of the chains of 100% compliance. People need a treat. As long as they can stay in control of the outcomes. I'm Pre-Diabetis. But after 11.5 years Dialysis and 5 years Immunosuppressive medication, I learned that one can step out and be sinful. But knowing that it is a one off and being able to keep it at that is where the willpower comes in. We all have it. Many just don't use it. I'm an ex soldier who used to be slightly overweight, would drink, smoke, eat lots of trash and sugary foods and would shirk on exercise. The dialysis was a shocker. So I went to a coach. Now I am at a perfect weight. Do daily phys and some weight training. Stopped smoking 20 years ago. I still have a drink of wine socially but let it be watered down. I eat healthy and try to stay stress free by keeping away from the TV, newspapers and moral hoovers. Music or painting chills me to the core. Stress is unfortunately always around, but if that can be filtered out and one just keeps focused, we stay in control and not let our conditions hurt us. Thete is also balance to be thought of. If I know something is gonna raise my blood sugar, offset it with some fasting or exercise before or after. As I said I'm pre diabetes from Medications, and it works for me. Other metabolism vary. However willpower is a constant in us all. It how we use it.

 

[coby]

People need to learn to take control of their condition and not let the condition take control of them. Otherwise we will be reduced to fully compliant robots. It ruins lives. However to do this, willpower is required. Without it there is no hope of having fun because one will not try to break free of the chains of 100% compliance. People need a treat. As long as they can stay in control of the outcomes. I'm Pre-Diabetis. But after 11.5 years Dialysis and 5 years Immunosuppressive medication, I learned that one can step out and be sinful. But knowing that it is a one off and being able to keep it at that is where the willpower comes in. We all have it. Many just don't use it. I'm an ex soldier who used to be slightly overweight, would drink, smoke, eat lots of trash and sugary foods and would shirk on exercise. The dialysis was a shocker. So I went to a coach. Now I am at a perfect weight. Do daily phys and some weight training. Stopped smoking 20 years ago. I still have a drink of wine socially but let it be watered down. I eat healthy and try to stay stress free by keeping away from the TV, newspapers and moral hoovers. Music or painting chills me to the core. Stress is unfortunately always around, but if that can be filtered out and one just keeps focused, we stay in control and not let our conditions hurt us. Thete is also balance to be thought of. If I know something is gonna raise my blood sugar, offset it with some fasting or exercise before or after. As I said I'm pre diabetes from Medications, and it works for me. Other metabolism vary. However willpower is a constant in us all. It how we use it.

@Mallyman Wow you are an inspiration! Thank you for telling some of your story. I love hearing how people cope and change their circumstances through willpower. Good luck to you on your journey through health issues, although somehow I really don't think you need it! xx

 

[coby]

It's one day off!
Enjoy your party.
Spoil yourself.
After a sleep and a fast, it should be back to 'your normal ' readings.
And no one else will be any of the wiser.

Best wishes to you and your daughter.

Have you considered a special meal rather than a 'tea'?
For a special birthday of mine, it was an Indian, and the choice of low carb foods was very good!

I'm so sorry @Lamont D .. I seemingly missed your reply yesterday.
I had already decided that the best thing for me on Monday morning will be a water fast haha!
I actually love fasting and don't usually feel hungry but I know I'll have to expect it this time with consuming all the carbs!
Thank you xx