I was a very irresponsible and tactless "silly-billy" on Tuesday. Contrary to my childhood parental influence, I mistakingly prioritised 3 pouches of Holborn Yellow hand-rolling tobacco over sufficient, healthy food to eat in order to eat little, but often, to manage my diabetic and other health conditions. I've now exhausted all the tobacco through profuse binge-smoking and utterly dire irresponsible conduct although I did pay a debt of £10.00 to an elderly Christian couple for an electronic 'back massager' that they picked up in our local market/boot sale last Sunday although I didn't request the 'back massager' the gentleman turned up with it. But I am grateful for it and it has proved instrumental and valuable in eradicating a lot of my idiopathic back pain. So that is out of my restricted £70.00 as well as the nearly thirty pounds worth of tobacco and another debt to a friend called Ioanna for the ten pound note she gave me last Saturday which she was adamant she didn't want back, plus I lent her a five pound note on top of it for incidentals until her next payday. That means all I managed to buy in the way of food was 4 x £1.20 Bisto 2 sausages, mashed potatoes, peas and gravy ready meals and 3 x Sainsbury's Basics £1.00 beef lasagne ready meals, plus one loaf of £1.00 Sainsbury's Bloomer crusty bread with sesame seeds, 1 packet of seventy pence 6 in a pack classic round tomatoes by Sainsbury's, plus 4 pints of £1.00 milk and a tin of £2.50 Nestle Coffeemate Light.
The food I have in my fridge is a tiny amount of Sainsbury's Soft Spread, some very old jerk seasoning, in the freezer compartment is some frozen cauliflower, frozen Brussel sprouts, frozen broccoli, frozen broad beans, frozen garden peas and frozen roasting potatoes, but I can't cook the roasting potatoes because my care coordinator and corporate appointee haven't bought me a new stove without a conventional oven yet out of my accrued benefit money held in an account at Vulnerable Adult Community Services. In my walk in cupboard and cupboard mounted on the wall by my microwave oven, I have a small amount of whole wheat spaghetti and one onion. Oh, and I have a frozen Sainsbury's Basics Beef Lasagne £1.00 ready meal too and some sugar, artificial sweetener (granulated type) and a very small amount of tea bags and 1/2 a tin of Nestle Coffeemate Light coffee and tea whitener.
I also got a secondary diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, in addition to my Asperger Syndrome, which my senior clinical psychologist assured me isn't caused by a lacking of parenting skills on my mum and dad's part as I had a wonderfully happy, stable and privileged childhood upbringing, but it's more caused by being bullied by people (because of my AS) in my late twenties, thirties and still ongoing to the present day. A lot of people, however, broken they may be, have nice, caring personalities like I do, and my psychologist informed me it doesn't mean they have a bad personality. I found this very comforting.
This explains a lot of my struggles in conjunction to the challenging and concerning autism spectrum disorder diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome.
Lots of love to all of you,
Johnny Baker, a sufferer of Asperger Syndrome, Borderline Personality Disorder, Insulin-Resistant Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus, Quadricep muscle tendon sprain, idiopathic lower back pain, idiopathic megarectum, urge incontinence, enuresis, essential hypertension, pure hypercholesterolaemia and mild hyponatremia. x X x.