I've had chronic depression and anxiety disorder since I was 15 (almost 29 now). Food is definitely something I struggle with. I lost 40lbs between 2012-2013 because I didn't eat from the stress, then put back on 12 pounds because I ate from the stress. I have had days where, when I went very low mentally, I just ate everything I found and sporadically injected to half-assedly cover my food. I expect this to happen more often in the future. It's financially very difficult for me to buy healthy foods and mind my carbs, which makes it easier to just give up and not even try.
I have no easy solution for you on how to deal with this. I'm seeing a psychologist every month, I am in group therapy twice a week, and I have assistance at home as of this week to help me out and support me in areas where I struggle. It helps. I still have to do all the hard work of getting through the days and eating responsibly while looking after myself, but knowing I'm not alone and can fall back on others has proven to be very helpful for me personally. They help me stay on track and figure out where it all comes from. They give me tips on how to deal with the situation when it happens. They don't judge, and taught me not to judge myself either.
Right now, I just take the days as they are. If it's a **** day where I take **** care of myself... so be it. Tomorrow is a new day with a fresh start, and nothing stops me from doing my best to be the best I can be. Sometimes my best is accepting that today sucks and I have to work with the punches I was dealt. It happens. It's part of my life. Struggling against it never worked for me and just made me feel more miserable, but seeing it for what it is and working
with it is something that is working out really well. There's no point in feeling bad when I have a sucky day. I gain nothing positive from it. Feeling bad just makes tomorrow harder.
I accepted that I have several illnesses that turn everyday things into challenges that require creative solutions. I don't blame myself - I didn't choose this, it was beyond my control, the only thing I
do control is how I respond to the situations I'm dealt. I choose to deal with it in the way that limits the negativity of my conditions to the shortest amount of time possible. I allow myself to feel bad so I can work on feeling better. I take it one step at a time so I don't burn out and allow myself to breathe through it all. I communicate with myself on what's going on so that I can respond adequately.
You have to find that for yourself too. Professional help can help you, if you haven't seen anyone yet I recommend it. It's not for everyone, but it's worth a shot.
Always remember you're not alone. We might be internet strangers, but we understand how you feel and we believe that you have it in you to be the best you can be, too.