It's a fine line.
I agree very much with
@equipoise that the initial post-diagnosis "fear and shock" is a
good time for some people to consider their options, inform themselves and make the decisions that need to be made. It worked very well for me: I'm terrible at getting stuff done. I basically have to be in "crisis mode" or "on deadline" or I get nothing done!
However, it became clear to me as I began posting on this forum that for some people, this can be the
wrong time to be "blunt." As one person told me, some people confronted by that approach suffer from information overload and shut down completely. I did not appreciate this at all, when I first joined the forum.
My main "adaptation" since then has been to tell my own story, explain where I personally got my advice, and let people make up their own minds. I find it hard to see what could be objectionable about that approach.
This is an Internet forum. It is different from most such fora because it discusses life-and-death issues, but ultimately we are each responsible not only for what we post, but for how we evaluate the information provided by perfect strangers.
I thank
@lucylocket61 for starting this thread because it does go to the heart of the matter. It is healthy to thrash out these disagreements in a civil way. This forum would not be what it is, without vigorous debate.