T1 parent with a healthy son

[EllieM]

You've never wanted to be able to concentrate on something for more than a couple of hours at a time?

Diabetes has only ever affected my concentration when hypo, and I'm not hypo very often.

You've never wanted to just grab a snack because you're hungry, without it becoming a ten minute job involving numbers that are never right, and needles, and pain?

You've never wanted to go to sleep without worrying how you'll feel when you wake up?

Honestly, I don't have either of those issues.

You've never wanted to exercise or do physical work without having to do hours of planning that often you don't have enough warning to do anyway?

Nor this one. (Yes, I do carry glucose with me, though).

You've never wanted to just go out with buddies and have a meal without knowing that you are the special case, you will be the centre of attention while you frown at menu after menu outside restaurant after restaurant and everyone is terribly terribly nice about it because it is so obvious how horrendous every last second of your life is?

Yes, my choice is more limited at restaurants, but it has never caused me to be the centre of attention, I just avoid the stuff I can't eat. My friends and family all know I have diabetes, they don't make a big deal of it or regard me as particularly deprived.

You've never wanted to not be hypo, when you are?

This one I agree with, hypos absolutely and totally suck. Having said that, I balance my diabetes so that they don't happen very often.

Please beg/bully your diabetic team to change your regime so that you have a better quality of life.

 

[Jaylee]

Compared to what? How do you know?

Ooooooh.. "Sliding doors stuff"
Why not start your own thread for the deep discussion you're taking this to, @NoKindOfSusie .

Though, You may want to check the movie Coherence. Which I feel is more your style!

 

[nessals946]

You've never wanted to be able to concentrate on something for more than a couple of hours at a time?

You've never wanted to just grab a snack because you're hungry, without it becoming a ten minute job involving numbers that are never right, and needles, and pain?

You've never wanted to go to sleep without worrying how you'll feel when you wake up?

You've never wanted to exercise or do physical work without having to do hours of planning that often you don't have enough warning to do anyway?

You've never wanted to just go out with buddies and have a meal without knowing that you are the special case, you will be the centre of attention while you frown at menu after menu outside restaurant after restaurant and everyone is terribly terribly nice about it because it is so obvious how horrendous every last second of your life is?

You've never wanted to not be hypo, when you are?

Of course you haven't, because it never even occurred to you that life shouldn't be like that. Well it did occur to me.

The most useless of human emotions is self pity.Life's a *****,deal with it.

 

[leking]

You've never wanted to be able to concentrate on something for more than a couple of hours at a time?

No one can concentrate on something that long. Take a break. Relax your mind. It sounds like you have so much worry in there that I'm surprised you can concentrate on anything for a few minutes, never mind a few hours.

You've never wanted to just grab a snack because you're hungry, without it becoming a ten minute job involving numbers that are never right, and needles, and pain?

5 second job actually. That's literally how long it takes to me inject some insulin. I'm not even joking. It's that quick and easy. Oh, and if it hurts, try rotating your site, get a smaller needle or change your needle more often. I literally don't feel the needle going in, it's absolutely tiny. And I'm a person who hate needles!

You've never wanted to go to sleep without worrying how you'll feel when you wake up?

Huh? The only thing I worry about when I go to sleep is getting woken up by my 3 year old at 3am asking me to wipe the poo of his bum. My wife is not diabetic and I wake up in a much happier mood than she does. She''s a proper grouch in the morning.

You've never wanted to exercise or do physical work without having to do hours of planning that often you don't have enough warning to do anyway?

I ran cross country for my county whilst diabetic. I won the University of Manchester (great standard btw) footballer of the year in my first year. I was the captain of my football team whilst diabetic. I won every bleep test at school. I did not have to do any amount of hours of planning. Just get out there and be active, please!

You've never wanted to just go out with buddies and have a meal without knowing that you are the special case, you will be the centre of attention while you frown at menu after menu outside restaurant after restaurant and everyone is terribly terribly nice about it because it is so obvious how horrendous every last second of your life is?

LOL, what are you looking for on those menus exactly? I AM ALLOWED TO, AND DO EAT ANYTHING. Again, I LITERALLY EAT ANYTHING. Why don't you?

I feel sorry for my non-diabetic brother who is allergic to peanuts. The amount of times he has had to run into the toilets at a restaurant and PHYSICALLY FORCE HIMSELF TO THROW UP because he will die if he doesn't is crazy. Now he tends to just avoid most foods at restaurants, while I get to choose from anything. I feel absolutely sorry for him.

You've never wanted to not be hypo, when you are?

Yes I have. But what do I do about it? Thank god (i'm not religions, just a phrase) that I live in a 1st world country and have immediate access to tasty refined sugar. Then 3 minutes later when I feel better carry on with my life.

Of course you haven't, because it never even occurred to you that life shouldn't be like that. Well it did occur to me.

Life is like whatever you make it like. If it's rubbish, it's because you are making it rubbish. Can I recommend looking into the Stoic philosophy? Contrary to popular belief, it is a philosophy about being happy in life. It really might make you realise that everyone in life has problems. Different types of problems that impact their life in different ways. you can't impact a lot of this stuff, what you can impact is how YOU FEEL about it. You don't need to feel so bad about it, honestly, your life can be awesome. Diabetes is not stopping that, only you are.

If you want to DM me, I'd be more than happy to chat with you, see where you are at in life and maybe together we can help get you to a better place??

[moderator edit for language.]

 

[archersuz]

If you want to DM me, I'd be more than happy to chat with you, see where you are at in life and maybe together we can help get you to a better place??

I rated you winner because of this last sentence.

 

[Draco16]

Hi,

Interesting discussion that makes me suspect that T1 diabetes physiologically impacts people very differently (as in eg not all cancers are of similar severity). This in turn impacts how much it impacts people, so for some they're either so good at easily balancing carbs, insulin and the dozens of other factors that affect blood sugars, or their body is just more consistent / better / or something at helping balance things effortlessly.

Picking up on some points (and obviously all of this is with the caveat i'm assuming the outcome people are talking about is good bs control - clearly anyone can do what they like in the short term if they are willing to accept poor bs control!)

Snacks, it takes 5 seconds...
I have to pre-bolus, so quickly popping in to a cake shop for a snack is a no, I need to inject, wait then eat, then check in following hours to see if right as carb data was not available. Before injecting i'd need to check and see where BS was and was trending. If higher end of range and trending up then it's a longer wait between injecting and eating. All of that is certainly more than 5 seconds for me! A non-diabetic does not do this / have to worry about this (so a definite negative impact v my pre-diabetic self), or indeed an easier controlled T1 by the sound of it.

I can eat anything, even a 200g carb pizza and garlic bread and always align insulin and BS perfectly...
I can't, I limit each meal - accept on very rare occasions - to c50g of carb. 200g would be far too much variation. Eating out I also have the challenge of knowing how many carbs the meal will contain and the lottery of when it will arrive (so I can time pre-bolus)!!! A non-diabetic does not do this / have to worry about this (so a definite negative impact v my pre-diabetic self), or indeed an easier controlled T1 by the sound of it.

They can exercise without planning
I definitely need to plan here, I won't start eg a long run until at least 2 hours after taking short acting insulin, so that affects all my timings of my day. A non-diabetic does not do this / have to worry about this (so a definite negative impact v my pre-diabetic self), or indeed an easier controlled T1 by the sound of it.

They can concentrate regardless...
I love being in a 4-5 range, i'm super sharp and on it, 5-6 good, 6-7 ok ish, 7 and above i'm poor. A non-diabetic does not do this / have to worry about this (so a definite negative impact v my pre-diabetic self), or indeed an easier controlled T1 by the sound of it.

But not to say I let it stop me, i've just returned from 2 weeks skiing and snowboarding, i've climbed Mont Blanc, i've cycled 1,000 miles in a week, run marathons, I still eat out occasionally, my job is quite intense, etc... and my A1C is 38... but all of those involve adjustments or compromises to varying degrees v my previous non-diabetic self. And all that with the fact I have a CGM: I would find things so, so, so much harder without.

So while I am also one of the many who are trying to get NKOS to a better place and more ambitious in her approach! I also can't reconcile the view of it has no impact (AND you have good control)... unless my theory that T1 affects different people different physiologically is maybe correct and for some it is just easier.

(And again just to be clear i'm talking about getting good bs control as the outcome... sometimes I notice posters say it has no impact on them, they do whatever... but then look through their posts and sometimes it turns out they have poor bs control).

 

[Cliodb]

I think very interesting pionts are being explored here, and it seems to me that every t1 is different.

for me (7 months diabetic with a bunch of other medical conditions)

snacks
not really a issue. most days I don't want a snack (that i need to take insluin for) and I mostly stick to 3 meals a day, but say I'm in town and I get a craving for something I'm not letting my diabetics stop me from having it and I don' find reading/Googleing the carb content that big of a deal, if I have tested my blood sugars in the last few hours e.g. after breakfast or lunch I won' check them for a snack, and depending on what the snack is/ how much time I have I might not wait for a bolus to kick in before eating it.

eating what I want
as I'm still kind of new to this I don' get my blood sugars perfect when eating out, but feel like I can get them close enough even if I have a high carb meal and a desert (in the 2/3 I have done this I would say I got them in range once and went high to about 9 and 10 the other times) but think as I get more experience with eating out I'll get tighter control. I don' see why I would not be able to find something I could eat in any and be reasonable confident that my bs would be in range afterwards.

excersise
because of other health issues I can' to strenuous excersise so tend to go for walks ECT and as long as I'm not after leave a big gap ( over 4 or 5 hours ) since I last eat my blood sugars are fine.

concentration
I don't feel any diffrent if my blood sugars are high e.g. 12 or get low e.g. 4. only feel hypo when I go below 3.5 I have no problems concentrating.

hypos
I check my b.s. before I go to bed, and don'
worry about going hypo during the night as I know my Basel is ok during the night as my books sugars are always fine in the morning.

I wonder what every ones view of what good controll is ?
I see on some diabetic groups people aiming for and get perfect straight/flat lines of 5s. which is even better control then on diabetics. I have been told little spikes are ok , this is something I hope to tighten up on as I figure out how timing and diffrent food effects me. But I think I would rather live a life with a bit more freedom
then worry and anylse everything more aiming for perfect control.

 

[Fairygodmother]

If NoKindOfSusie had been reading carefully she’d have seen that gog1978 had made the difficult confession that he’s been having problems for the past few months, that he’d been them keeping to himself, and that he’d asked to be treated gently.

What does NoKindOfSusie do? She brings a flat negative foot down on the discussion.

I know that T1’s not always easy, that the early days with it can be hard and that there are subsequent times when it can feel like an uphill struggle. But it’s not always like that. I know too that people vary in the way it impacts them, just as people without T1 vary in the way they respond to the variety of things that happen to them.

However, am I the only one who feels uncomfortable about the way that posts are diverted?

On a cheerful note @gog1978 , neither of my children has T1. Even if they had developed it I doubt it would have messed their lives up. Having them is one of the good things I’ve done and I hope they think so too. There was a previous thread that asked whether people with T1 should be told not to have children: one of my daughters gave that proposition short shrift - her words had to be edited for language!

Even if yours do end up having T1 it’ll only be a bad thing for them if they themselves think it’s bad.

Hugs @gog1978 and I hope you soon get out of that bad place in your head.

 

[gog1978]

Thanks everyone. Just an update-I can't get an appointment to see my diabetic specialist until the 2nd of March and coz I wasn't getting any better went to see the gp. She diagnosed me with depression and started me on antidepressants! Not sure I like the idea of even more medication, but was in such a bad place that I took the prescription and had one tablet. I haven't taken another one yet as I'm not sure it's the right thing to do! I have been feeling progressively worse though, struggled to even get out of bed this morning, been skipping meals and feel so down and sick with worry that I don't even recognise myself any more. It's scary coz I always used to be the positive one, laid back and wouldn't let anything worry me! Feeling burnt out started all this off and now my head just feels broken and this is affecting my diabetes too! It's just a horrible vicious circle and I just want snap out of it!

 

[Jaylee]

Thanks everyone. Just an update-I can't get an appointment to see my diabetic specialist until the 2nd of March and coz I wasn't getting any better went to see the gp. She diagnosed me with depression and started me on antidepressants! Not sure I like the idea of even more medication, but was in such a bad place that I took the prescription and had one tablet. I haven't taken another one yet as I'm not sure it's the right thing to do! I have been feeling progressively worse though, struggled to even get out of bed this morning, been skipping meals and feel so down and sick with worry that I don't even recognise myself any more. It's scary coz I always used to be the positive one, laid back and wouldn't let anything worry me! Feeling burnt out started all this off and now my head just feels broken and this is affecting my diabetes too! It's just a horrible vicious circle and I just want snap out of it!

Hi Gog,

You're putting a step n the right direction towards your own wellbeing.

Wishing you all the best.

J>

 

[lucylocket61]

Thanks everyone. Just an update-I can't get an appointment to see my diabetic specialist until the 2nd of March and coz I wasn't getting any better went to see the gp. She diagnosed me with depression and started me on antidepressants! Not sure I like the idea of even more medication, but was in such a bad place that I took the prescription and had one tablet. I haven't taken another one yet as I'm not sure it's the right thing to do! I have been feeling progressively worse though, struggled to even get out of bed this morning, been skipping meals and feel so down and sick with worry that I don't even recognise myself any more. It's scary coz I always used to be the positive one, laid back and wouldn't let anything worry me! Feeling burnt out started all this off and now my head just feels broken and this is affecting my diabetes too! It's just a horrible vicious circle and I just want snap out of it!

I am not a type 1, but have been on antidepressants. I just want to point out that its isnt forever, often a short-ish course of antidepressants (6-12 months) is enough to heal your mind and support it to give you the space for you to feel better. Sort of like a mental painkiller/anti inflammatory for a bad sprain gives your body a chance to not be in such pain that you cant heal.

sending good wishes to you. If I can help, please let me know.

 

[gog1978]

Thank you

 

[nessals946]

Thanks everyone. Just an update-I can't get an appointment to see my diabetic specialist until the 2nd of March and coz I wasn't getting any better went to see the gp. She diagnosed me with depression and started me on antidepressants! Not sure I like the idea of even more medication, but was in such a bad place that I took the prescription and had one tablet. I haven't taken another one yet as I'm not sure it's the right thing to do! I have been feeling progressively worse though, struggled to even get out of bed this morning, been skipping meals and feel so down and sick with worry that I don't even recognise myself any more. It's scary coz I always used to be the positive one, laid back and wouldn't let anything worry me! Feeling burnt out started all this off and now my head just feels broken and this is affecting my diabetes too! It's just a horrible vicious circle and I just want snap out of it!

Please take the tablets,its nothing to be embaressed about.They will help.I speak from experience,have had to take antidepressants myself from time to time.Ive had t1d for 43 years and it can be overwhelming at times i know.
Your son needs you to be happy and healthy,be kinder yo yourself,you're allowed to feel burnt out,we've all been there and may be again at some point.The tablets wont work miracles but they will help you cope when things get on top of you.If you're only taking one a day then it may be quite a low dose anyway.

 

[gog1978]

Please take the tablets,its nothing to be embaressed about.They will help.I speak from experience,have had to take antidepressants myself from time to time.Ive had t1d for 43 years and it can be overwhelming at times i know.
Your son needs you to be happy and healthy,be kinder yo yourself,you're allowed to feel burnt out,we've all been there and may be again at some point.The tablets wont work miracles but they will help you cope when things get on top of you.If you're only taking one a day then it may be quite a low dose anyway.

Thanks. It's not that I feel embarrassed about taking them it was just being unsure if it was the right way for me to cope. As I said my head is just all over the place, but seeing ur kind words and from others too definitely helps! I want and need to get better, not just for myself, but for my wife and son too, it feels like I'm at the bottom of a huge hole at the moment with just myself to get me out(I know I have support where and when I need it, just need to get the broken bits of me to acknowledge this!)

 

[Fairygodmother]

Hi @gog1978, like @nessals946 I know from experience that antidepressants can help. When there seems to be no escape from a deep dark hole, whatever dug it, they can give you the ability to get out of it again. Like someone holding your hand to pull you up.
Yes, it’s hard to keep doing all the stuff that diabetes needs in those times. Maybe setting a regime - you know, same thing for breakfast and lunch every day and same amount of carbs for supper every day, plus an alarm to remind you, would help? It might give you a bit of safety?
Do you have any opportunities to get some exercise? A good fast walk with your small person in a pushchair for instance? Counting coloured cars, trees, birds, dogs etc as you go? Exercise can sometimes make people feel better. Plus glucotabs of course!!!
And keep posting, talk to us, stay in contact, especially if there’s a waiting time before the antidepressants take effect.
More hugs!

 

[PenguinMum]

I have been on anti ds for a long time. Best advice I can give you is take them every day pref at the same time for best results. I guess you are being eased gently onto them by low dose or every other day but when its every day be diligent. Also there are many types so not always the first type works so talk to your Dr if so cos there will be alternatives. Just dont give up. You will get better.

 

[becca59]

@gog1978 Many years ago I was put on antidepressants (not diabetes related). I picked up the prescription, put it on the kitchen worktop and cried for 5 hours before eventually putting one in my mouth. 2 weeks later I felt like a different person. 6 months later I was able to stop taking them and have luckily not needed them again.
When depressed we don’t think rationally. Please take them, and hopefully by the summer you will be firing on all cylinders.