Finding it tough ?

Listlad

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Hi @Patrick66, Each person is unique and that is something that no-one can take away from you.
It sounds like you are the person who people look to to fix troubles, like you said dealing with the emails and such - and it gives you a break from the phone.
And you mention you like to travel.
Given that travel is not as affordable these days, do you use your computer, the net, whatever to 'travel'? At least to maintain an interest in the world without necessarily having to interact with it too much?
And could you try writing some pieces which newspapers might be interested in? It might be about past travel, it might be more personal but told in the third person?
And, are there other interests, pastimes etc that you have or do indulge in?
To give you an example of where this last question is heading, please have a gander (Aussie for have a look) at
'my-best-kite.com'.
I know the person who started and runs this site. He and his wife both work (she in a Government department) but his work is working with and maintaining this site. He has built it up and sells e-books about the various kites he makes. All his kites are inexpensive to make and appeal to children and families. And over the years he has now built is up to having a free site plus a premium site where people pay a small fee per month.
He has interaction with people via this site but rarely would that be via phone.
If you have an interest in blogging, maybe this is the next step?
As always the details need consideration and I do not have a grasp of what is involved in him setting a computer site, maintaining its appearance, protecting it etc.
Finding a subject of interest is of course key. Whether it relates to autism or another field is part of the research needed to match up what people might respond to and what you feel able to write about and maintain long term.
The other thought I have ( and for my brain it is an achievement to have a second thing to mention) is how do you find you relate to pets? Is there something about pet animals that you can relate to which others with autism also find? Is it easier to relate to pets than to humans? Is that of help to you personally or job-wise? Is there a role in pet therapy for you? In other words being able to use your skills and pets to help others with autism, and does that provide you with possible future employment and a boost for your self-esteem?
The third thought (I must be having a brain storm - hair might catch fire soon)!! in terms of coping with everyday life is developing the very thing I have been doing - self-humour. If I can joke about myself life does not always have to be so serious.
I am not trying to live in a world without reality, just trying to not take myself too seriously. I can do this internally, that is without involving anyone else, or I can do this a bit on the net (like now) or perhaps from time to time with a friend, my partner or a co-worker.
All the above are ideas, all are free and if they help plant a seed the fruits are yours to harvest.
Of course , any donations can be sent to Downunder Offshore Enterprises P.O Box .......................
Best Wishes in your journey ! Keep posting, that is like exercises in writing. Bounce ideas off people, look in at an animal shelter, fly a kite (and keep feet firmly on the ground )!! I am off to the shower to cool off my head. See ya !!

Last summer we visited a kite festival in Lytham St Anne’s. It was amazing.
 

kitedoc

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Last summer we visited a kite festival in Lytham St Anne’s. It was amazing.
Real visual entertainment !!

IMG_3201.jpg .............17973655_1721495387877326_1717099133244428814_o.jpg ..............17917270_1721532481206950_7040761883313092536_o.jpg ..................17952923_1754751201502077_1721255937068637723_n.jpg ...............17990314_1721673744526157_7038870333663580769_o.jpg
 

Listlad

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Patrick66

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Agreed. My employer doesn’t value me. And nor does my wife’s employer. I say that simply to get things in perspective. It would be nice to work for a Richard Branson for example who feels that their employees are their biggest asset. Not all employers think that way.
Agreed.

I just find the difference between what my employer says and what they do is quite amazing. It’s not big stuff, it’s asking simply to be acknowledged. Even the simple stuff they struggle with.
 

Listlad

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Agreed.

I just find the difference between what my employer says and what they do is quite amazing. It’s not big stuff, it’s asking simply to be acknowledged. Even the simple stuff they struggle with.
Same here Patrick. My employer says whatever he wants and reserves the right to change his mind without telling anyone. A complete nightmare. He pays me once a month so that helps. :D

Billy Connolly does a good skit on that.,
 
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Patrick66

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People. Noise. Swearing. Many foods.
Hi @Patrick66, Each person is unique and that is something that no-one can take away from you.
It sounds like you are the person who people look to to fix troubles, like you said dealing with the emails and such - and it gives you a break from the phone.
And you mention you like to travel.
Given that travel is not as affordable these days, do you use your computer, the net, whatever to 'travel'? At least to maintain an interest in the world without necessarily having to interact with it too much?
And could you try writing some pieces which newspapers might be interested in? It might be about past travel, it might be more personal but told in the third person?
And, are there other interests, pastimes etc that you have or do indulge in?
To give you an example of where this last question is heading, please have a gander (Aussie for have a look) at
'my-best-kite.com'.
I know the person who started and runs this site. He and his wife both work (she in a Government department) but his work is working with and maintaining this site. He has built it up and sells e-books about the various kites he makes. All his kites are inexpensive to make and appeal to children and families. And over the years he has now built is up to having a free site plus a premium site where people pay a small fee per month.
He has interaction with people via this site but rarely would that be via phone.
If you have an interest in blogging, maybe this is the next step?
As always the details need consideration and I do not have a grasp of what is involved in him setting a computer site, maintaining its appearance, protecting it etc.
Finding a subject of interest is of course key. Whether it relates to autism or another field is part of the research needed to match up what people might respond to and what you feel able to write about and maintain long term.
The other thought I have ( and for my brain it is an achievement to have a second thing to mention) is how do you find you relate to pets? Is there something about pet animals that you can relate to which others with autism also find? Is it easier to relate to pets than to humans? Is that of help to you personally or job-wise? Is there a role in pet therapy for you? In other words being able to use your skills and pets to help others with autism, and does that provide you with possible future employment and a boost for your self-esteem?
The third thought (I must be having a brain storm - hair might catch fire soon)!! in terms of coping with everyday life is developing the very thing I have been doing - self-humour. If I can joke about myself life does not always have to be so serious.
I am not trying to live in a world without reality, just trying to not take myself too seriously. I can do this internally, that is without involving anyone else, or I can do this a bit on the net (like now) or perhaps from time to time with a friend, my partner or a co-worker.
All the above are ideas, all are free and if they help plant a seed the fruits are yours to harvest.
Of course , any donations can be sent to Downunder Offshore Enterprises P.O Box .......................
Best Wishes in your journey ! Keep posting, that is like exercises in writing. Bounce ideas off people, look in at an animal shelter, fly a kite (and keep feet firmly on the ground )!! I am off to the shower to cool off my head. See ya !!
No, I wouldn’t write journalistic pieces. I rarely feel captivated by those and never find inspiration in them. I don’t know why but I find that even places I love don’t come across as they appear to me.
I think you need a certain style and I don’t have it. My blogs were more chatty, less clinical.
I always joke about myself because it saves others the effort of doing it. I’m also renowned, not in a good way, for my puns. Stand up was actually suggested by a psychologist I saw!.
I’m closer to animals than people as I prefer their company. We have cats although I’m a dog person and I’m really into snakes.
 
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Patrick66

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Same here Patrick. My employer says whatever he wants and reserves the right to change his mind without telling anyone. A complete nightmare. He pays me once a month so that helps. :D
Mine barely pays me once a month...and knowing how much he gets paid makes me cry!
 

Listlad

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My boss walked into the office and said “ Business has been good and so I have just been out and bought a new Ferrari. And .... if you all work really hard this coming year then I can buy another one”. :D

I just looked that joke up:

My boss arrived in work today in a brand new Lamborghini.
I said, "Wow, that's an amazing car!"

He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year".
 
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Patrick66

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978
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People. Noise. Swearing. Many foods.
My boss walked into the office and said “ Business has been good and so I have just been out and bought a new Ferrari. And .... if you all work really hard this coming year then I can buy another one”. :D

I just looked that joke up:

My boss arrived in work today in a brand new Lamborghini.
I said, "Wow, that's an amazing car!"

He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year".
My boss doesn’t really speak to us. Or certainly not the likes of me. I’ve been told where my place is and it’s somewhere south of the sewer system!
 

kitedoc

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Stunning pics., looks interesting...! Now I need to find out if we have one. Probably Scheveningen, or Zandvoort... Google, here I come! ;)
Hi @JoKalsbeek, yes, vieglerfestival Scheveningen Sept 2019. A countryman of yours in New Zealand called Robert Van Weers attends our Adelaide Kite Festival each Easter as a guest. Here as some of his kites: Enjoy
Robert has a wonderful sense of humour and we 'trade' jokes across the Tasman sea between us: One of Robert's is:
What do you called a field full of Australians?.............................................. A vacant lot !!

P4020469.jpg .................29355122_2137339166292944_1888309277366076563_o.jpg............... IMG_3261.jpg ................IMG_3262.jpg ...................29744381_2141115925915268_2716477329128463274_o.jpg
 

JoKalsbeek

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Hi @JoKalsbeek, yes, vieglerfestival Scheveningen Sept 2019. A countryman of yours in New Zealand called Robert Van Weers attends our Adelaide Kite Festival each Easter as a guest. Here as some of his kites: Enjoy
Robert has a wonderful sense of humour and we 'trade' jokes across the Tasman sea between us: One of Robert's is:
What do you called a field full of Australians?.............................................. A vacant lot !!

View attachment 30902 .................View attachment 30907............... View attachment 30908 ................View attachment 30909 ...................View attachment 30910
These look amazing, and yeah... I'd found the festival in Scheveningen. I was hoping it would be there, because from the Pier it would be awesome to see... (And photograph!!!). I just put it on this year's Bucketlist. No idea if we'll make it, but.... Your pics look grand, and now I want to go to something like that! :)

Vacant lot... *snicker*
 

kitedoc

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These look amazing, and yeah... I'd found the festival in Scheveningen. I was hoping it would be there, because from the Pier it would be awesome to see... (And photograph!!!). I just put it on this year's Bucketlist. No idea if we'll make it, but.... Your pics look grand, and now I want to go to something like that! :)

Vacant lot... *snicker*
Yes, please attend if you are able to.
The 'vacant, lay back non-chalant look' we can take in our stride. But the words beer, cricket, footie (football) and barbie (BBQ) have our instant attention !!
 

JoKalsbeek

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Maybe but I do prefer the kite field !!
I wouldn't know the difference... And the last time I tried flying a 2-handed kite, I almost brained my father-in-law, so I'm just photographing, not participating. If it looks pretty/interesting/challenging, and I can get it nicely in frame, I don't care where it is, as long as I can snap pics. (I guess I'm rather obsessive with photography...) ;)
 

JoKalsbeek

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Yes, please attend if you are able to.
The 'vacant, lay back non-chalant look' we can take in our stride. But the words beer, cricket, footie (football) and barbie (BBQ) have our instant attention !!
...My parents wanted to move to Oz, with mom's brother and his wife. But when my uncle's job fell through, none of them went. I am SO glad, because I am terrified of spiders. ;) No BBQ can ever make up for that! But no wonder we watched Flying Doctors almost religiously. Mom kept looking at what she'd missed.

..And I think this thread is now thoroughly derailed. Sorry. (If it makes any difference, kites have now made it onto my bucket-list, which is my device to fight depression: creating a list of options to look forward to in a year.)
 

kitedoc

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I wouldn't know the difference... And the last time I tried flying a 2-handed kite, I almost brained my father-in-law, so I'm just photographing, not participating. If it looks pretty/interesting/challenging, and I can get it nicely in frame, I don't care where it is, as long as I can snap pics. (I guess I'm rather obsessive with photography...) ;)
I like this comic strip version:
IMG_3115.jpg
 

UserABC2021

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@Patrick66 I was finally given my official diagnosis for autism in 2007, they put me in the high functioning end and then labelled me with Asperger's Syndrome. My primary co-morbidity is zero facial recognition (Prosopagnosia) which has been, and still is, the worst aspect of my condition.

I read every post on the thread and still didn't know if I should reply because you are right, the austistic community is rife with self-appointed experts and I don't want to be one, not here.

Life before my diagnosis was very different, I was the boss of my own company and worked stupid hours. It cost me my children and every relationship, and I just kept going because it was all I knew. I never realised back then just how much fear I lived in, I would have meltdowns every other day and shutdowns at least once a day. I was in a very wealthy nightmare believing that I had no friends and no support.

At that time I was living in your neck of the woods having moved from Wales, my partner was an amazing lady who literally put up with my behaviour until I finally crashed and burnt. She begged me to get help and I walked away from her thinking, wrongly, that she didn't care. I did get help soon after, hence the diagnosis, but by then I had lost everything.

The shock of being placed on the spectrum was hard, and I did what any good Aspie would do, research. The first thing I realised was that I had spent my life blaming other people, neurotypicals, and I decided to look at my response to them and not their response to me. I also decided to play to my strengths, which were few indeed.

Like you, I loved travel, I don't know if you actually drive but I had always found peace when I was driving. I have a private pilots license to, and had considered becoming a commercial pilot or instructor at one point but the hoops of being an Aspie were too many to take on. I decided that if I liked driving I should try driving for a living, so I took my HGV license, ignored my degrees and my past to become a truck driver. It saved my sanity.

At the start, I only worked through agencies so I could choose my jobs, and I only worked at night. Earnt enough to keep me happy and suddenly I was free of people, and also found out I was very good at driving a 44 tonne truck. As is usual for people on the spectrum, I became fascinated by transport, it rules and functions, so I paid to take my transport managers certificate and get involved in logistics. None of this was planned in advance, it just seemed to flow once I only did what made me happy.

Last year was my worst year by far, apart from being diagnosed with T2 and having COPD and Emphysema I lost my grandaughter and nephew right before Christmas. I also lost my job after I had a meltdown for the first time in years, and I felt I was back to square one. I'm 65 in a couple of months and I've had enough of struggling so I have chosen to be semi-retired, and as I'm not wealthy by any means it has been a difficult decision.

I don't know why I wrote this, the main thing is I didn't want to tell you what you should do yet show some solidarity as another autistic person. I know the anxiety and depression we can experience, I have been there and it is crushing, but I know that no-one else could pull me out of it or give me a sense of the direction I should move in. If you can take one thing from my story then it was worth the telling.

As an aside, despite my inability to be social I do love being on the stage. Like you, I have a gift for comedy and also a really good singing voice, so I will 'perform' at any opportunity.
 

HSSS

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@Patrick66 I was finally given my official diagnosis for autism in 2007, they put me in the high functioning end and then labelled me with Asperger's Syndrome. My primary co-morbidity is zero facial recognition (Prosopagnosia) which has been, and still is, the worst aspect of my condition.

I read every post on the thread and still didn't know if I should reply because you are right, the austistic community is rife with self-appointed experts and I don't want to be one, not here.

Life before my diagnosis was very different, I was the boss of my own company and worked stupid hours. It cost me my children and every relationship, and I just kept going because it was all I knew. I never realised back then just how much fear I lived in, I would have meltdowns every other day and shutdowns at least once a day. I was in a very wealthy nightmare believing that I had no friends and no support.

At that time I was living in your neck of the woods having moved from Wales, my partner was an amazing lady who literally put up with my behaviour until I finally crashed and burnt. She begged me to get help and I walked away from her thinking, wrongly, that she didn't care. I did get help soon after, hence the diagnosis, but by then I had lost everything.

The shock of being placed on the spectrum was hard, and I did what any good Aspie would do, research. The first thing I realised was that I had spent my life blaming other people, neurotypicals, and I decided to look at my response to them and not their response to me. I also decided to play to my strengths, which were few indeed.

Like you, I loved travel, I don't know if you actually drive but I had always found peace when I was driving. I have a private pilots license to, and had considered becoming a commercial pilot or instructor at one point but the hoops of being an Aspie were too many to take on. I decided that if I liked driving I should try driving for a living, so I took my HGV license, ignored my degrees and my past to become a truck driver. It saved my sanity.

At the start, I only worked through agencies so I could choose my jobs, and I only worked at night. Earnt enough to keep me happy and suddenly I was free of people, and also found out I was very good at driving a 44 tonne truck. As is usual for people on the spectrum, I became fascinated by transport, it rules and functions, so I paid to take my transport managers certificate and get involved in logistics. None of this was planned in advance, it just seemed to flow once I only did what made me happy.

Last year was my worst year by far, apart from being diagnosed with T2 and having COPD and Emphysema I lost my grandaughter and nephew right before Christmas. I also lost my job after I had a meltdown for the first time in years, and I felt I was back to square one. I'm 65 in a couple of months and I've had enough of struggling so I have chosen to be semi-retired, and as I'm not wealthy by any means it has been a difficult decision.

I don't know why I wrote this, the main thing is I didn't want to tell you what you should do yet show some solidarity as another autistic person. I know the anxiety and depression we can experience, I have been there and it is crushing, but I know that no-one else could pull me out of it or give me a sense of the direction I should move in. If you can take one thing from my story then it was worth the telling.

As an aside, despite my inability to be social I do love being on the stage. Like you, I have a gift for comedy and also a really good singing voice, so I will 'perform' at any opportunity.
As an nt living with asd’s this touched my heart. I am so pleased you’ve found a way for you. I wish more asd’s (and the rest of us) could find lifestyles that suit, play to strengths and be self aware enough to examine our own part in our life difficulties.