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@Patrick66 I was finally given my official diagnosis for autism in 2007, they put me in the high functioning end and then labelled me with Asperger's Syndrome. My primary co-morbidity is zero facial recognition (Prosopagnosia) which has been, and still is, the worst aspect of my condition.
I read every post on the thread and still didn't know if I should reply because you are right, the austistic community is rife with self-appointed experts and I don't want to be one, not here.
Life before my diagnosis was very different, I was the boss of my own company and worked stupid hours. It cost me my children and every relationship, and I just kept going because it was all I knew. I never realised back then just how much fear I lived in, I would have meltdowns every other day and shutdowns at least once a day. I was in a very wealthy nightmare believing that I had no friends and no support.
At that time I was living in your neck of the woods having moved from Wales, my partner was an amazing lady who literally put up with my behaviour until I finally crashed and burnt. She begged me to get help and I walked away from her thinking, wrongly, that she didn't care. I did get help soon after, hence the diagnosis, but by then I had lost everything.
The shock of being placed on the spectrum was hard, and I did what any good Aspie would do, research. The first thing I realised was that I had spent my life blaming other people, neurotypicals, and I decided to look at my response to them and not their response to me. I also decided to play to my strengths, which were few indeed.
Like you, I loved travel, I don't know if you actually drive but I had always found peace when I was driving. I have a private pilots license to, and had considered becoming a commercial pilot or instructor at one point but the hoops of being an Aspie were too many to take on. I decided that if I liked driving I should try driving for a living, so I took my HGV license, ignored my degrees and my past to become a truck driver. It saved my sanity.
At the start, I only worked through agencies so I could choose my jobs, and I only worked at night. Earnt enough to keep me happy and suddenly I was free of people, and also found out I was very good at driving a 44 tonne truck. As is usual for people on the spectrum, I became fascinated by transport, it rules and functions, so I paid to take my transport managers certificate and get involved in logistics. None of this was planned in advance, it just seemed to flow once I only did what made me happy.
Last year was my worst year by far, apart from being diagnosed with T2 and having COPD and Emphysema I lost my grandaughter and nephew right before Christmas. I also lost my job after I had a meltdown for the first time in years, and I felt I was back to square one. I'm 65 in a couple of months and I've had enough of struggling so I have chosen to be semi-retired, and as I'm not wealthy by any means it has been a difficult decision.
I don't know why I wrote this, the main thing is I didn't want to tell you what you should do yet show some solidarity as another autistic person. I know the anxiety and depression we can experience, I have been there and it is crushing, but I know that no-one else could pull me out of it or give me a sense of the direction I should move in. If you can take one thing from my story then it was worth the telling.
As an aside, despite my inability to be social I do love being on the stage. Like you, I have a gift for comedy and also a really good singing voice, so I will 'perform' at any opportunity.
Well I have an awful singing voice. I was the only child NOT selected for the School Choir!. I can drive but don't. I cannot anticipate others action so, after 5 accidents in 18 months I gave up. I still maintain my licence more, I suppose, as proof of who I am, but also for emergencies.
I was diagnosed on 13th February 2009, 4 weeks before my 43rd birthday and ten months before redundancy put paid to a 23 year Civil Service career. And a career in which I excelled as I was working on my own (part of a team but remotely) and could work from home when it suited me. I spent 4 years working in the Ministry of Defence and 19 years in the Ministry of Justice where I had the opportunity to be part of some high profile Criminal cases.
I have money in the bank from my parents estate but its not enough to buy in this expensive part of the world. If we moved I could buy the house I wanted, have my dog etc, but I wouldn't have a job.
I don't worry about neurotypicals. Some I work with have Autistic children so that's a start and work has made certain adaptations for me; taken me off answering the phones by 80%, given me all the email enquiries we get and allowed me to wear noise cancelling headphones. Unfortunately I find the environment very upsetting and communication very poor. I laud the aims of the charity I work for but its just not Autism friendly.
The Autistic community I have come across online has well meaning, highly talented individuals but also far too many self-appointed leaders and narcissists. Too many dictators and sheep for my liking. I am an individual and make my own mind up when I know the facts. Of course, having a diagnosis of Aspergers, like yourself, can be controversial as well and the very phrase "high functioning" just makes me wince (sorry!)
I'm delighted you have found your niche in life and you have found a role that suits you. If only I could find mine.