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Patrick66

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@Patrick66 I was finally given my official diagnosis for autism in 2007, they put me in the high functioning end and then labelled me with Asperger's Syndrome. My primary co-morbidity is zero facial recognition (Prosopagnosia) which has been, and still is, the worst aspect of my condition.

I read every post on the thread and still didn't know if I should reply because you are right, the austistic community is rife with self-appointed experts and I don't want to be one, not here.

Life before my diagnosis was very different, I was the boss of my own company and worked stupid hours. It cost me my children and every relationship, and I just kept going because it was all I knew. I never realised back then just how much fear I lived in, I would have meltdowns every other day and shutdowns at least once a day. I was in a very wealthy nightmare believing that I had no friends and no support.

At that time I was living in your neck of the woods having moved from Wales, my partner was an amazing lady who literally put up with my behaviour until I finally crashed and burnt. She begged me to get help and I walked away from her thinking, wrongly, that she didn't care. I did get help soon after, hence the diagnosis, but by then I had lost everything.

The shock of being placed on the spectrum was hard, and I did what any good Aspie would do, research. The first thing I realised was that I had spent my life blaming other people, neurotypicals, and I decided to look at my response to them and not their response to me. I also decided to play to my strengths, which were few indeed.

Like you, I loved travel, I don't know if you actually drive but I had always found peace when I was driving. I have a private pilots license to, and had considered becoming a commercial pilot or instructor at one point but the hoops of being an Aspie were too many to take on. I decided that if I liked driving I should try driving for a living, so I took my HGV license, ignored my degrees and my past to become a truck driver. It saved my sanity.

At the start, I only worked through agencies so I could choose my jobs, and I only worked at night. Earnt enough to keep me happy and suddenly I was free of people, and also found out I was very good at driving a 44 tonne truck. As is usual for people on the spectrum, I became fascinated by transport, it rules and functions, so I paid to take my transport managers certificate and get involved in logistics. None of this was planned in advance, it just seemed to flow once I only did what made me happy.

Last year was my worst year by far, apart from being diagnosed with T2 and having COPD and Emphysema I lost my grandaughter and nephew right before Christmas. I also lost my job after I had a meltdown for the first time in years, and I felt I was back to square one. I'm 65 in a couple of months and I've had enough of struggling so I have chosen to be semi-retired, and as I'm not wealthy by any means it has been a difficult decision.

I don't know why I wrote this, the main thing is I didn't want to tell you what you should do yet show some solidarity as another autistic person. I know the anxiety and depression we can experience, I have been there and it is crushing, but I know that no-one else could pull me out of it or give me a sense of the direction I should move in. If you can take one thing from my story then it was worth the telling.

As an aside, despite my inability to be social I do love being on the stage. Like you, I have a gift for comedy and also a really good singing voice, so I will 'perform' at any opportunity.

Well I have an awful singing voice. I was the only child NOT selected for the School Choir!. I can drive but don't. I cannot anticipate others action so, after 5 accidents in 18 months I gave up. I still maintain my licence more, I suppose, as proof of who I am, but also for emergencies.

I was diagnosed on 13th February 2009, 4 weeks before my 43rd birthday and ten months before redundancy put paid to a 23 year Civil Service career. And a career in which I excelled as I was working on my own (part of a team but remotely) and could work from home when it suited me. I spent 4 years working in the Ministry of Defence and 19 years in the Ministry of Justice where I had the opportunity to be part of some high profile Criminal cases.

I have money in the bank from my parents estate but its not enough to buy in this expensive part of the world. If we moved I could buy the house I wanted, have my dog etc, but I wouldn't have a job.

I don't worry about neurotypicals. Some I work with have Autistic children so that's a start and work has made certain adaptations for me; taken me off answering the phones by 80%, given me all the email enquiries we get and allowed me to wear noise cancelling headphones. Unfortunately I find the environment very upsetting and communication very poor. I laud the aims of the charity I work for but its just not Autism friendly.

The Autistic community I have come across online has well meaning, highly talented individuals but also far too many self-appointed leaders and narcissists. Too many dictators and sheep for my liking. I am an individual and make my own mind up when I know the facts. Of course, having a diagnosis of Aspergers, like yourself, can be controversial as well and the very phrase "high functioning" just makes me wince (sorry!)

I'm delighted you have found your niche in life and you have found a role that suits you. If only I could find mine.
 

Patrick66

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As an nt living with asd’s this touched my heart. I am so pleased you’ve found a way for you. I wish more asd’s (and the rest of us) could find lifestyles that suit, play to strengths and be self aware enough to examine our own part in our life difficulties.
Amen to that!.
 
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DCUKMod

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@Patrick66 I was finally given my official diagnosis for autism in 2007, they put me in the high functioning end and then labelled me with Asperger's Syndrome. My primary co-morbidity is zero facial recognition (Prosopagnosia) which has been, and still is, the worst aspect of my condition.

I read every post on the thread and still didn't know if I should reply because you are right, the austistic community is rife with self-appointed experts and I don't want to be one, not here.

Life before my diagnosis was very different, I was the boss of my own company and worked stupid hours. It cost me my children and every relationship, and I just kept going because it was all I knew. I never realised back then just how much fear I lived in, I would have meltdowns every other day and shutdowns at least once a day. I was in a very wealthy nightmare believing that I had no friends and no support.

At that time I was living in your neck of the woods having moved from Wales, my partner was an amazing lady who literally put up with my behaviour until I finally crashed and burnt. She begged me to get help and I walked away from her thinking, wrongly, that she didn't care. I did get help soon after, hence the diagnosis, but by then I had lost everything.

The shock of being placed on the spectrum was hard, and I did what any good Aspie would do, research. The first thing I realised was that I had spent my life blaming other people, neurotypicals, and I decided to look at my response to them and not their response to me. I also decided to play to my strengths, which were few indeed.

Like you, I loved travel, I don't know if you actually drive but I had always found peace when I was driving. I have a private pilots license to, and had considered becoming a commercial pilot or instructor at one point but the hoops of being an Aspie were too many to take on. I decided that if I liked driving I should try driving for a living, so I took my HGV license, ignored my degrees and my past to become a truck driver. It saved my sanity.

At the start, I only worked through agencies so I could choose my jobs, and I only worked at night. Earnt enough to keep me happy and suddenly I was free of people, and also found out I was very good at driving a 44 tonne truck. As is usual for people on the spectrum, I became fascinated by transport, it rules and functions, so I paid to take my transport managers certificate and get involved in logistics. None of this was planned in advance, it just seemed to flow once I only did what made me happy.

Last year was my worst year by far, apart from being diagnosed with T2 and having COPD and Emphysema I lost my grandaughter and nephew right before Christmas. I also lost my job after I had a meltdown for the first time in years, and I felt I was back to square one. I'm 65 in a couple of months and I've had enough of struggling so I have chosen to be semi-retired, and as I'm not wealthy by any means it has been a difficult decision.

I don't know why I wrote this, the main thing is I didn't want to tell you what you should do yet show some solidarity as another autistic person. I know the anxiety and depression we can experience, I have been there and it is crushing, but I know that no-one else could pull me out of it or give me a sense of the direction I should move in. If you can take one thing from my story then it was worth the telling.

As an aside, despite my inability to be social I do love being on the stage. Like you, I have a gift for comedy and also a really good singing voice, so I will 'perform' at any opportunity.


Oh wow. What a wonderful post Harrison.

For the avoidance of doubt, I don't mean your troubles have been wonderful. That is simply not be the case, but for the bravery and candour you brought to this thread, "from the inside" of the condition.

I salute you.
 

Patrick66

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I have posted a blog. About me.

"Please make an orderly queue for the exit"

I blame whoever suggested it!.
 

lucylocket61

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I have posted a blog. About me.

"Please make an orderly queue for the exit"

I blame whoever suggested it!.
I want to thank you and @HarrisonK for your posts. My son is High functioning too, is in his early 20's and finding it hard going. He was only formally diagnosed last year. I have shown him your posts and it has helped him to see that there is life after diagnosis. Thank you both so much for that. Your contributions are valuable.
 
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JoKalsbeek

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I have posted a blog. About me.

"Please make an orderly queue for the exit"

I blame whoever suggested it!.
I really enjoyed that...!

And able to read hieroglyphics...! I do love cats, so Bast and Sekhmet are my favourites. :) (I have a black Bastet statue by the window. And an actual black cat that'll sit beside it every now and again. :) ). Sorry, but that just got me really excited. Just tried to talk my husband into going to an exposition in Leiden before the end of March, they've got a whole lot of Egyptian statues on loan and they allow camera's, so I can photograph my little heart out.

Anyway... I really enjoyed reading that. And I do think there's a load of jobs out there you could do. I don't know about the UK, but are there agencies that'll fund your retraining or continued training? It's such a waste when you're good at stuff and aren't able to do anything with it.
 
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Patrick66

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I really enjoyed that...!

And able to read hieroglyphics...! I do love cats, so Bast and Sekhmet are my favourites. :) (I have a black Bastet statue by the window. And an actual black cat that'll sit beside it every now and again. :) ). Sorry, but that just got me really excited. Just tried to talk my husband into going to an exposition in Leiden before the end of March, they've got a whole lot of Egyptian statues on loan and they allow camera's, so I can photograph my little heart out.

Anyway... I really enjoyed reading that. And I do think there's a load of jobs out there you could do. I don't know about the UK, but are there agencies that'll fund your retraining or continued training? It's such a waste when you're good at stuff and aren't able to do anything with it.
I will blog about Egypt eventually. My spiritual home. I so wanted to be a tour guide/leader. Or a travel agent though the pay is horrendous.

I’m sure, if I have the stamina, that several travel related blogs will appear.
 

Patrick66

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I want to thank you and @HarrisonK for your posts. My son is High functioning too, is in his early 20's and finding it hard going. He was only formally diagnosed last year. I have shown him your posts and it has helped him to see that there is life after diagnosis. Thank you both so much for that. Your contributions are valuable.
Thank you, that’s very kind.

I always find it incredible that society forgets that Autistic children grow up into Autistic adults. People think you “grow out” of it when, actually, you “grow into” it. It defines who you are.
I’m not one for the high functioning label. Only because, if you have high functioning that implies you also have low functioning and that’s not being respectful to those who, through no fault of theirs, struggle more than they should have to.
We all have strengths (mines somewhere down the back of the sofa) and we all have weaknesses but we ignore the deficits of those with strengths and ignore the strengths of those with deficits.
Yes there is life after diagnosis. I can’t promise it’s easy and you do need support to get through it but I’m here at 52 and I guess that counts for something.
Tell your son that he isn’t alone. Yes he will feel like he is at times but he really isn’t and he would probably be surprised at how many of us hide in plain sight.
And remind him of his strengths whilst working on those deficits. Remind him he is valued and that society does value him, it just might have a strange way of showing it at times.
I’m sure he’ll go far.
 
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lucylocket61

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I’m not one for the high functioning label. Only because, if you have high functioning that implies you also have low functioning and that’s not being respectful to those who, through no fault of theirs, struggle more than they should have to.
I apologise if i offended, I am just quoting the 'label' they gave him and his father on their diagnosis. I agree with your view on it.

Tell your son that he isn’t alone. Yes he will feel like he is at times but he really isn’t and he would probably be surprised at how many of us hide in plain sight.
And remind him of his strengths whilst working on those deficits. Remind him he is valued and that society does value him, it just might have a strange way of showing it at times.
I’m sure he’ll go far.

This is so valuable. I will tell him. And may I show him your blog too? See, you have a lot to offer and have done so for me and my people. Thank you.
 

UserABC2021

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I apologise if i offended, I am just quoting the 'label' they gave him and his father on their diagnosis. I agree with your view on it.

When I was diagnosed I queried the term HFA and was told it was simply because I was speaking and reading at an early age, I've never considered it as anything else. Since then I've come to realise it is not an official term in use, I just got used to using it when people tell me I "don't look/act autistic". If they persist I end up trying to explain 'scripting' and 'modelling', which takes a lot longer :)
 

Patrick66

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I apologise if i offended, I am just quoting the 'label' they gave him and his father on their diagnosis. I agree with your view on it.



This is so valuable. I will tell him. And may I show him your blog too? See, you have a lot to offer and have done so for me and my people. Thank you.
I’m not offended so don’t worry. I just find labelling a bit clumsy and whilst my Aspergers is a high functioning diagnosis, when I melt down, I can’t function at all.

It’s quite divisive in the community. Aspergers is seen, by some, to be the “superior” diagnosis because they equate that with intelligence and superior intellect and, most regrettably, I have encountered a few Aspies who think they’re so much better than those with a simple Autism diagnosis (although the distinction is no longer supposed to be made) and it’s that superiority complex that is both false and damaging. Trust me, I never feel high functioning!. I’m an academic failure because I got bullied at school and had issues so I don’t quite fit the stereotype.

I guess I know stuff. I know stuff that others may find interesting. I know trivia. Is that my talent ?, perhaps but I think it’s more a sense of curiosity and wanting to know the answer rather than an exceptional mind.

By all means show him my blog. It speaks about survival I suppose, the ability to get through life (not without great personal cost and pain) and do stuff, like travel, which many Autistic people will never do because of the barriers.

Glad I could help.
 

Patrick66

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When I was diagnosed I queried the term HFA and was told it was simply because I was speaking and reading at an early age, I've never considered it as anything else. Since then I've come to realise it is not an official term in use, I just got used to using it when people tell me I "don't look/act autistic". If they persist I end up trying to explain 'scripting' and 'modelling', which takes a lot longer :)
Yes it’s just a label created to satisfy some distinction to be drawn between A and B. But I’ve seen it used as a weapon within the community and on days when I can barely function at all, I think it’s a load of utter twaddle.
 
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UserABC2021

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Yes it’s just a label created to satisfy some distinction to be drawn between A and B. But I’ve seen it used as a weapon within the community and on days when I can barely function at all, I think it’s a load of utter twaddle.

Asperger's Syndrome has somehow become 'cool' with younger people, many claiming to be aspies with no clinical backup. Perhaps things like Big Bang Theory and Sherlock help bolster its seeming popularity, I don't know.

Like you, I was bullied all through school, hated every moment, and it was later in life that I went back to study and got my degree. Now, in my closing years I often think how things would have been different if I had been neurotypical or even if my parents/school had understood I was autistic.
 

HSSS

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Asperger's Syndrome has somehow become 'cool' with younger people, many claiming to be aspies with no clinical backup. Perhaps things like Big Bang Theory and Sherlock help bolster its seeming popularity, I don't know.

Like you, I was bullied all through school, hated every moment, and it was later in life that I went back to study and got my degree. Now, in my closing years I often think how things would have been different if I had been neurotypical or even if my parents/school had understood I was autistic.
I think there’s a lot less stigma now, combined with the fact that in our generation it was rarely diagnosed, certainly not if you could exist in society just considered odd behaviour or being a loner or simple. (No offence intended just how it sadly used to be thought of). Are more people and now or are more recognised? One of my asd’s believes autists are the next evolution of mankind and hopes it is increasing as you are more efficient and logical in life. He was very quiet about it til outted by a “friend”. Now he’s quite proud to be who he is and doesn’t want to be NT. The other doesn’t fully believe it and just gets on being who he is and living his own way in partial denial of diagnosis and it’s effects.

I was also bullied physically and emotionally throughout school from 5-17yrs. I often wonder how things would have been different for me had I been different (resilient, less of a push over or not so academic and without weird hair), or my parents had better equipped me or the school done something about it. Different causes but similar experiences.
 

HSSS

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I have posted a blog. About me.

"Please make an orderly queue for the exit"

I blame whoever suggested it!.


This is the first time I’ve ever gone and read a blog. Anywhere. About anything. Im now inspired to explore this new (to me) means of communication.
 
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JoKalsbeek

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I will blog about Egypt eventually. My spiritual home. I so wanted to be a tour guide/leader. Or a travel agent though the pay is horrendous.

I’m sure, if I have the stamina, that several travel related blogs will appear.
Okay, this is probably going to sound silly, but... I get the impression you know a bunch of things about a bunch of subjects. Any chance you could teach community college classes? On Egypt, travel, autism, taxes, all of the above? Contact with people is relatively one-sided as they're mostly busy listening to you, so not as much interaction as one might think...

I won a photography class and last year we hit the city of Amersfoort with the teacher, a professional photographer. It was nuts, and I did have one single panicattack, (Just one! And everyone was really nice about it too...!) but the results.... I think they were probably the best pics I've ever taken, streetphotography-wise. I had the least technical knowledge of the class at that moment, (which teach fixed as well), but the teacher, during the evaluation, gave me the best scores. By far. Said I had a professional's eye for it. Still makes me blush to think about it, but while it made me really uncomfortable, it also made me... I dunno... proud, I guess? Which I'm not used to being of myself.. It gave me such a boost, and it made quite a difference for me. And I've invested in a second camera, it came in today.... So I'm back to carrying around two of them. (I used to, but the ones I had were too heavy for my back. System camera's are lighter. Anyway....). You don't need teacher qualifications to do it far as I know, and I do think you have enough to share... It is a chance to make a difference, sharing what you know, and making a decent extra buck for traveling/a bit of freedom. IF, of course, that is something you'd want to persue.

Just something I thought about over dinner. Probably absolutely useless, because I don't know what your limitations are, but... The classes or lectures on ancient Egypt I'd certainly like to take myself. looking forward to more blogs, in any case.
 

UserABC2021

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I think there’s a lot less stigma now, combined with the fact that in our generation it was rarely diagnosed, certainly not if you could exist in society just considered odd behaviour or being a loner or simple. (No offence intended just how it sadly used to be thought of). Are more people and now or are more recognised? One of my asd’s believes autists are the next evolution of mankind and hopes it is increasing as you are more efficient and logical in life. He was very quiet about it til outted by a “friend”. Now he’s quite proud to be who he is and doesn’t want to be NT. The other doesn’t fully believe it and just gets on being who he is and living his own way in partial denial of diagnosis and it’s effects.

I was also bullied physically and emotionally throughout school from 5-17yrs. I often wonder how things would have been different for me had I been different (resilient, less of a push over or not so academic and without weird hair), or my parents had better equipped me or the school done something about it. Different causes but similar experiences.

Indeed, I was very much the loner. I'd had polio in '57, I was three years old and fully paralysed so my parents were dealing with the possibiltythat I would die. After that, my personality quirks were put down to having had polio. There was no Asperger's Syndrome back then and most of the 'obviously autistic' children were placed in sanitoriums and forgotten about.

There seems to be a better understanding of the spectrum and testing seems to be more extensive. My children were diagnosed in their teens and, nowadays, they believe they are the 'new human', but they are also very private about their ASD whereas I am very open about it.
 

Patrick66

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Asperger's Syndrome has somehow become 'cool' with younger people, many claiming to be aspies with no clinical backup. Perhaps things like Big Bang Theory and Sherlock help bolster its seeming popularity, I don't know.

Like you, I was bullied all through school, hated every moment, and it was later in life that I went back to study and got my degree. Now, in my closing years I often think how things would have been different if I had been neurotypical or even if my parents/school had understood I was autistic.
I never thought I’d ever be cool. But yes, you are absolutely right.
 
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Patrick66

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I think there’s a lot less stigma now, combined with the fact that in our generation it was rarely diagnosed, certainly not if you could exist in society just considered odd behaviour or being a loner or simple. (No offence intended just how it sadly used to be thought of). Are more people and now or are more recognised? One of my asd’s believes autists are the next evolution of mankind and hopes it is increasing as you are more efficient and logical in life. He was very quiet about it til outted by a “friend”. Now he’s quite proud to be who he is and doesn’t want to be NT. The other doesn’t fully believe it and just gets on being who he is and living his own way in partial denial of diagnosis and it’s effects.

I was also bullied physically and emotionally throughout school from 5-17yrs. I often wonder how things would have been different for me had I been different (resilient, less of a push over or not so academic and without weird hair), or my parents had better equipped me or the school done something about it. Different causes but similar experiences.
It took me 6 years to get a diagnosis. But then, as I was older, masking hid...diluted some of my traits.
I seem to mask permanently and I hate not being the real me.