@alf_Josiah,
@dunelm and
@jjraak thanks for the hugs which acted as confirmation of what I really knew. My relationship to food and drink has clearly become dysfunctional. Food and drink has to be more than a tool to fight bg. It always was before LC and back in the day with LC. I think multi day fasts and straying into a few threads here destroyed that. Quite a bare knuckle fight within me, which some must have spotted, to wrestle control from what the relationship has become. Absolutely worth fighting for. Now I need to deal with the causes. The hugs should be optimistic IMHO and this post is mainly cathartic so not in need of ratings.
While I'm just beginning, and you've been at this a while longer, we are all wandering different trails through this T2D Forest of food conundrums.
But here I am seeing evidence of your journey a while ago, on my trail too.
That Relationship with food, was I must admit a full on affair, for me.
We'd meet up regularly, couldn't keep our hands off each other, truth be told.
Anytime friends popped over or we went out, food was always there.
Many had said, it would end in tears, the being so involved wasn't good for me .
But I didn't care, I was young foolish & in love
it just felt right.
Many a night we'd be there, a few drinks and I'd go to bed fully satisfied .ahh happy memories.
Sadly, I began to see another side to the affair.
And seeking counselling, I decided I had to break it off, it was just too damaging to me,
but food didn't see it like that,
took it rather badly others tell me
Less kind friends say it's only the control that she missed.
Of course I knew, hard not to spot the little obviously staged meet ups, that tempting come get me looks in the supermarket.
And I must be honest, the scent of food..Mmhh
I could still feel the pull to go back to how it was for long time.
Now I'm over the worst.
I'm back dating, but I'm being sensible.
It took me a while to trust again
At first I couldn't talk about our break up, but now I'm ok telling everyone where we went wrong ..I was as much at fault as they were
I'm seeing other food now.
It took a while, but I felt it's time
It's early days but it seems to be going well.
I feel comfortable and it's ME in control now.
It's just working out, it's a much healthier relationship.
It DOES feel different.
Where the consumption was the juvenile goal,
Now it's a more mature nurturing experience, we see each other less often, and each time is enough that I didn't go wandering over at all hours, to see her OR have that need to steal glances at others & stray.
No it's not the same, but I'm ok with that
Food took over my life, I see that now.
Now it's just one part of it.
And it's better this way..for me at least
Good luck working it out
I'll keep an eye out for your trail,
Think we'll all come across it at some point
