Why don't people get it?

[nicki92]

...but then on the opposite side, my stepmother was diagnosed with almost-pre-diabetes last year (HbA1C of 41 or 42).
She's extremely fit for her age (almost 60), very small and has generally a very healthy diet. But since she met my dad seven years ago she's eaten a lot more fruit, and probably other sweet snacks as well. The doctor says that because of her body type and general healthy lifestyle she doesn't need to worry too much, but she has cut down on sugar. My dad is insensitive though and says things like "of course you can eat this cake/peach/biscuit, it won't make a difference!" and I do think that he makes it more difficult for her by not understanding well.

(Side note: I'm doing a half marathon in two weeks' time and told my dad that I'm a bit nervous about my BG as it will likely spike due to the adrenalin, which I can't practice for, and that I don't want to carry insulin. His response? "You'll just have to control it!". I said "yes with insulin, this is the problem" and he said "you just need to stay calm and not get too excited" )

 

[NicoleC1971]

I've been T2 since September. She has known for a month less than I have known. And yes: I do expect friends to remember something this important. I remember what my friends have told me too.

Your friend is as good at you are at remembering stuff that's peripheral to her though big to you. She's bothering to come and see you which is lovely. Just have a strategy for avoiding them if that's what you wish or do you fear temptation? You are right, people don't get it and cake eating is just a normal thing in our culture but I'm hoping she is a good friend in other ways such that you will tolerate this slight lack of consideration.

 

[MrsA2]

Just had a call from a relative, who also has type 2, who after 2 years after diagnosis has just started going low carb, to say
"We'll be popping in at lunchtime, but don't worry about food because we'll have a McDonald's at the services. Just a biscuit or 2 will be fine"

(I haven't had biscuits in the house for over 18 months)

 

[zand]

Just had a call from a relative, who also has type 2, who after 2 years after diagnosis has just started going low carb, to say
"We'll be popping in at lunchtime, but don't worry about food because we'll have a McDonald's at the services. Just a biscuit or 2 will be fine"

(I haven't had biscuits in the house for over 18 months)

Well maybe it's a zand style MacD's? Bunless and fries less? Yeh, probably too much to hope for lol.

Good luck with the visit then...

 

[Fenn]

For years I took it upon myself to save every diabetic, not any more, I realized the world didn’t want to be saved! if people look for help, they will find it, if they are not looking, their choice. Anyone with diabetes that can’t figure out biscuits are a no go are a lost cause in my opinion.

Edit, or they can eat them without putting up their numbers higher than they find acceptable

 

[EF]

I know. My sister is finally taking diabetes seriously after years of me preaching to her. And she is not the exception. She’s the rule as far as I can see. I honestly can’t think of one time I’ve met another diabetic who actually pays attention to diet. And exercise…don’t even start. It’s like they don’t see the freight train thundering towards them. I’ve learned to bit my tongue but it still makes me feel awful.

 

[Deleted member 543160]

I used to work with a young man who for strict religious reasons never ate certain food, and if we went out for meals as a group no-one ever hassled him, but on the other hand, a slightly OTT vegan did get teased/picked on occasionally by another member of our group. Go figure....

(I haven't had biscuits in the house for over 18 months)

Due to a carb devouring husband (who actually told me I understood nothing about low carbs), as a T2 I've lived with my house full of biscuits, bread, cakes, cereals etc, for about eight and a half years now and can probably count on the fingers of both hands the number of times I've actually eaten and enjoyed any of it.... Though I will admit to learning how to bake some low carb alternatives just for me.

 

[lucylocket61]

My house has chocolate in, home made cakes and biscuits (my husband like to bake) puddings etc. I live with two males who are well over 6 feet tall, broad shoulders, no excess body fat, who like these things. For me, its not a matter of keeping temptation out of sight - its focussing on WHY I low carb. I want to keep my eyesight etc. They are very supportive, never tease or offer me stuff. They treat me with respect, and I treat their food choices with respect. Its worked for over 10 years.

 

[Outlier]

I have a lean non-diabetic husband who eats loads of junk food as well as healthy things, but it's not a problem to me that he does and I'd never consider commenting on it. But IMO (clearly I am in a minority here but we are all allowed opinions) friends should be aware of others' illnesses or traumas and be kind, just as I am where that applies to them. Whether their issues are physical or emotional, I take care to be considerate. I don't consider that a chore.

 

[Hopeful34]

IMO (clearly I am in a minority here but we are all allowed opinions) friends should be aware of others' illnesses or traumas and be kind, just as I am where that applies to them. Whether their issues are physical or emotional, I take care to be considerate. I don't consider that a chore.

I agree with you @Outlier, and I do the same as you.

 

[david4503]

It gets awkward and annoying sometimes, but as long as nobody is forcing you to do something you don’t want to do it’s a manageable thing. My dad never understood why I had to keep taking insulin, especially when I took it after an insulin reaction. Mind you, he was not stupid, not trying to be insensitive or anything else that might concern me. He just had a blind spot there.

 

[AloeSvea]

Yeah, I have a new friend, who I think is fabulous, but she does keep offering me and asking me for cakes and biscuits. And I can promise the issue of my having type two and treating with diet and exercise has indeed come up more than once. I keep getting surpised that she keeps forgetting. Now I realise, even though she is fabulous and I like her a lot - she is hugely self-centred and just really, when push comes to shove - doesn't care about other's health conditions. This is a big flaw of hers, but it doesn't stop her being essentially fabulous, and I still choose to hang out with her when given the chance.

Btw, one of her jobs is being a caregiver - I think this is hilarious. But what she lacks in compassion and awareness she makes up for with energy and zeal! I reckon.

Now I say, "I know you forget, but come visit and I will bake some low-carb no sugar cookies for us. Sure - bring whatever you want to eat - but I will cook my fave mint-chocolate chocolate chip biscuits for us if you want to give them a try?" She looks a little askance, but nods her head enthusiastically. (That she is enthusiastic is one of her wonderful qualities.)

She also, by the way, at a dinner party, insisted to a mutual type 1 friend, and me, that drinking some kind of water would cure us both of our diabetic conditions. He tried to explain his situation, and I tried to explain mine. She then said, "It's up to you! If you drink this water you will be cured." As if this water was a magical potion and all we had to do was take it. (She sells the machines.) We looked at each other and shrugged, realising it was worthless to present either of our cases.

He and I both still think she is fabulous, but realise this is a serious flaw of hers.

Folks are flawed. And sometimes we have to listen to the nonsense, and turn down cakes and biscuits, can I say? From lovely, selfish idiots. Also the miracle cures. That's my opinion too - that they might be lovely but selfish or just slightly or wholly demented. I hope it's acceptable in a forum . (Well, if it's not - you will tell me soon enough!?)

 

[david4503]

Acceptable? I wouldn’t have even thought about it if you hadn’t asked. BTW, I wouldn’t mind trying the magic water. I hope you at least took a sip. Couldn’t hurt, it’s water.

 

[catinahat]

As if this water was a magical potion and all we had to do was take it

I agree with @david4503 it wouldn't hurt to try it.
After all, some years ago I was told that if I prioritise protein and fat in my diet, I could make my T2 dissappear and lose weight!. At the time I thought that sounded demented

 

[AloeSvea]

Hehe @catinahat and @david4503 . The water from the machine my friend is selling is indeed - lovely! She gave me a bottle from one of our mutual friends' machines she had sold him (she really is a trick, but we love her). The machine is way out of my financial league. But do I think it would 'cure' my T2 and our mate's T1? Well, you know the answer to that one. People without diabetes can get WAY out of line sometimes, as we know.

What did I talk about post the water cure offer? (it was a dinner party, so one tries to entertain, even about lifelong conditions and illnesses.) I brought up the story of another friend of mine, who was dying from malignant melanoma, when her sister in law bought her a juicer, and told her that carrot juice could cure her cancer. Did the sister in law mean well? Yes, she is a nice woman. Was she out of line? OHHHHHHH yes! Hence it being a story to tell.

Yeah, folks can be out of line.

BTW - @catinahat - nothing miraculous about a metabolic disease being reversed/remissed/cured metabolically! . As we know too. But I get your point. It's always wonderful to hear these success stories though of course.

 

[david4503]

You see, now you’ve gotten me even more interested in this water machine. How could a machine that dispenses water be prohibitively expensive unless it does something along the lines of magic? There’s flavored water and fizzy water, I suppose. But you can just buy those in the store. A fancy juicer I could see costing a bit. You do have some interesting friends, I must say.

 

[coby]

Someone I haven't seen since before the first covid lockdown will be visiting the area and asked if she could come to see me. "I'll bring some cakes".

Sigh.

I know just what you mean and how despondent it makes us diabetics feel

 

[coby]

I don’t think the issue is people being unaware (as many have said unless they have it or deal with it closely they may not know.) It’s the one who do very well know and ignore it anyway.

I have family who at the very least are capable of remembering I have diabetes and restrict some foods, especially sugary stuff. That’s really not hard to remember. Nor is it hard to ask to be reminded if particular foods are ok or not. But they insist on trying to feed me rubbish. And mock me for it. They also are totally paranoid about another family members nut allergy. (Which I understand as I grew up with a nut anaphylactic person). So they take one health and dietary condition seriously but not another.

I don’t think the issue is people being unaware (as many have said unless they have it or deal with it closely they may not know.) It’s the one who do very well know and ignore it anyway.

I have family who at the very least are capable of remembering I have diabetes and restrict some foods, especially sugary stuff. That’s really not hard to remember. Nor is it hard to ask to be reminded if particular foods are ok or not. But they insist on trying to feed me rubbish. And mock me for it. They also are totally paranoid about another family members nut allergy. (Which I understand as I grew up with a nut anaphylactic person). So they take one health and dietary condition seriously but not another.

@HSSS I have to agree with you. My own mother .. who was a nurse in her day ... would brush off my condition, saying "Well that's not serious, is it" !!!

 

[coby]

To show how ignorant people are of diabetes I told some new neighbours that I was diabetic, to get a reply of what type because you know there are 2 types one were you mustn't eat sugar and one were you have eat sugar !

WOW!

 

[AloeSvea]

You see, now you’ve gotten me even more interested in this water machine. How could a machine that dispenses water be prohibitively expensive unless it does something along the lines of magic? There’s flavored water and fizzy water, I suppose. But you can just buy those in the store. A fancy juicer I could see costing a bit. You do have some interesting friends, I must say.

Hehe - Yes! Absolutely, I agree. On all counts. .

BTW - Saw her again for a walk and talk, and she, again, suggested we share in a piece of store-bought cake. Interesting indeed. I realise she will just never stop suggesting sugary food for me to eat. Oh well - I like her regardless.

About the water: The machine is a Kangen machine, and is merely a water alkaline/ionizer. It tasted lovely, but the machine I drank the water from cost NZ$2,000. Magic for the folks making money off it? Yes indeedy.

Found this article online when she first started talking about it (it's a good article - you'll get a good giggle at the last predictable line, when it was time for the company to respond...)

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/whanganu...rts-say-otherwise/EZ5L2A2QW5O7OA6LHV7X4SAOTQ/