Type 1: Ashamed Of Diabetes

[hollyslot]

I find going out to eat stressful with others because being a diabetic i have to 1) check my bg 2) look at the food for a while to try and caluclate carbs and then 3) take my injection. by this time the other person has already started eating before i even check my blood sugar normally and it really isn't easy to work out how many carbs are in my meal, and takes more than 1 second. i just feel really awkward and embarrassed and bad for the friend who has to see me doing all this. i know this is an illness and it's not my fault i have diabetes but still i feel bad that i cant just be normal and eat in a normal way like them, and maybe even make them feel uncomfortable about me injecting at the table (i don't know)

also im really embarrassed about the state of my finger tips. they have tons of little black spots on them from blood testing and i don't want them to be a glaring sign that i have something wrong with me. does anyone else feel the same way?

 

[hels]

I find it helps to be prepared before eating out so if possible I check out the menu online beforehand. This means that I'm not staring at the menu desperately trying to work out what is best for me to eat.
I don't think most people even notice be testing and injecting .

 

[MickyFinn]

I find going out to eat stressful with others because being a diabetic i have to 1) check my bg 2) look at the food for a while to try and caluclate carbs and then 3) take my injection. by this time the other person has already started eating before i even check my blood sugar normally and it really isn't easy to work out how many carbs are in my meal, and takes more than 1 second. i just feel really awkward and embarrassed and bad for the friend who has to see me doing all this. i know this is an illness and it's not my fault i have diabetes but still i feel bad that i cant just be normal and eat in a normal way like them, and maybe even make them feel uncomfortable about me injecting at the table (i don't know)

also im really embarrassed about the state of my finger tips. they have tons of little black spots on them from blood testing and i don't want them to be a glaring sign that i have something wrong with me. does anyone else feel the same way?

This weekend, I photographed a wedding down in Hertfordshire. It was a two hour drive and a relatively early start on the Saturday, so I drove down on the Friday and back again on Sunday, which meant I had to stay in a hotel.

I obviously had to do the carb counting, inject in public etc, and no one took any notice, either at the wedding, or at the hotel. Personally I refuse to be embarrassed over it, and neither should you. I know the bride at the wedding, she has ulcerative colitis which meant she had to have a stoma bag. I also have Crohn's disease which has caused me far more embarrassing situations in the past than type 1 ever could.

You really should not be embarrassed, you have to follow this regime to keep you alive, and anyone that copes with this deserves respect. I doubt any of your friends or family are bothered and probably take less notice of these things than you think.

 

[azure]

Remember that quote that says something like "You wouldn't worry about what other people think of you if you realised how seldom they do".

Everyone is busy with their own stuff Even if they do notice, it'll only be for a moment.

Checking the menu beforehand is a good tip and what I do.

For your fingertips, use the lowest setting on your pricker, use a fresh lancet, and keep your hands moisturised. That all helps.

And no, I don't feel ashamed of my diabetes. I didn't ask for it - and neither did you. Don't be ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed about

 

[Lynz84]

Hi Hollyslot. You have no need to feel embarrassed at all! 99.9% of people actually dont care or take notice of any of us injecting. It sounds like you havent fully embraced the condition yet. That will come with time. The more embarrassed you are with it..the more awkward it will feel for others so as frankie says....relax I also recommend getting the carbs and cals app on your phone. Its so handy!!! And diabetes uk have a full booklet on carb counting on their website which is very helpful!!

 

[cz_dave]

I feel the same, @hollyslot . I used to eat out very often before diagnosed. These days it is much more rare and if I do, I prefer to eat out just with my family. Having said that, I had great time at a sushi place a few days ago. I had been there at least 10 times before, so experimented a lot with the right insulin dose for different meals. That has certainly helped.

 

[Daibell]

Hi. I rarely test my blood before having a restaurant meal as I can guess roughly what it is. If necessary I can use the test I did just before driving or before I leave the car etc. I try to make it so I only need to study the menu and inject and then when I know the meal is due to be served.

 

[Jaylee]

I find going out to eat stressful with others because being a diabetic i have to 1) check my bg 2) look at the food for a while to try and caluclate carbs and then 3) take my injection. by this time the other person has already started eating before i even check my blood sugar normally and it really isn't easy to work out how many carbs are in my meal, and takes more than 1 second. i just feel really awkward and embarrassed and bad for the friend who has to see me doing all this. i know this is an illness and it's not my fault i have diabetes but still i feel bad that i cant just be normal and eat in a normal way like them, and maybe even make them feel uncomfortable about me injecting at the table (i don't know)

also im really embarrassed about the state of my finger tips. they have tons of little black spots on them from blood testing and i don't want them to be a glaring sign that i have something wrong with me. does anyone else feel the same way?

Nope, everybody has a personal "hang up". D or not. Some form or another.
I've done done all that stuff on a lunch break in a cab literally close quarters with a truck driver. No one gives a toss unless you allow em to. It's just about getting through the day.. Lol
... & these guys don't even know me.

 

[Ultimaf]

Ha ha I've never really thought about it. I'm always checking my blood and looking up carbs. I've got a tattoo saying type 1 diabetes. It's part of our lives now. It's how we live! If someone had the audacity to tell me not to check my blood or to tell me to stop injecting I'd throw their food on them! So would my son he's very protective!

 

[Ultimaf]

Take a quick walk around the block and you will notice everyone is doing there own thing...and they will not care what your doing! Just crack on. Don't compromise your health for the fear or some random person!

 

[Jaylee]

also im really embarrassed about the state of my finger tips. they have tons of little black spots on them from blood testing and i don't want them to be a glaring sign that i have something wrong with me.

You know what? The only time anyone mentioned my "fingers" was a nurse... & at least she knew I tested regularly..!

 

[catapillar]

also im really embarrassed about the state of my finger tips. they have tons of little black spots on them from blood testing and i don't want them to be a glaring sign that i have something wrong with me. does anyone else feel the same way?

I can honestly say I have never ever not once taken even the slightest bit of interest in anyone's fingertips. I do inspect my own finger tips quite a lot, but never anyone else's. Do you ever actually look at anyone eleses finger tips? Really? What makes you think anyone would notice yours - I'm sure they are lovely, but unless you are a hand model your finger tips are not going to be the first (or even in the top 20) thing anyone looks at.

There is nothing to be embarrassed about with injecting at dinner. Test and inject, no big deal. Other diners won't even notice. If it's a big group of people/big table sometimes people in the same table won't notice. Yes, whoever you are having dinner with will probably realise, but then you are having dinner with them, so hopefully having some conversation with them. So they could ask and you could briefly explain what you are doing. If they were anything other than understanding, after a brief explanation, I would probably not want to have dinner with them again!

Carb counting is the painful bit, but get hold of the menus before hand. If it's a chain place it's usually possible to find the nutritional info on their website. The carbs & cals app is great for earring out.

 

[chalup]

You could try testing up the sides of your fingers including between the knuckles to give your fingertips a break.

 

[Chas C]

I always try to bolus in advance if its possible, bit like manually multi bolusing, I used to do this prior to pumping when on a pen.

Decide in advance how much your going to eat - then about 20-30 mins before you plan to eat inject about 50% of the insulin you need for the meal.

When the meal arrives inject the remainder and eat the meal carb value you planned, if the meal is bigger than you thought then either limit the carbs you eat or take a larger dose once you worked out the difference.

If the meal is much lower than you expected, say less carbs than the 50% insulin dose you'd already taken then ask for more carbs or grab a fruit juice drink to bulk it up.

This works well for long drawn out meals - where you can dose in advance and then one for each serving.

Hope this helps

 

[slip]

Holly No need to be ashamed but I know where you're coming from on this, I often cook at home for the family, and it grates me sometimes that I can't simply cook a meal and sit down with everyone else and start eating straight away - I HAVE to go through the process.

Obviously I have a good idea of the carbs I've dished up on my plate (and everyone else's!) but I still have to double check, do a blood test, punch in the numbers, dial up the dose and inject, put away my stuff, and then sit to the table and eat, with luck - I get enough blood out on the first try, my meters screen responds & I don't over press the carbs button nor it error, I then get to eat only a few minutes after everyone else has started, but it still gets to me. Dinning out adds a minute more whilst I work out the carbs. And yes my fingers aren't the best either.

Diabetes isn't annoying or embarrassing it's the stuff that goes with it! I have to do it so I don't care what others think.

 

[noblehead]

@hollyslot, if your unsure of the carb in the food and there's no nutritional content available use Carbs & Cals, its available as a app and is a good visual guide to portion sizes and carbs values, if you can't do that just underestimate the carb content and correct later in the evening if necessary.

Just don't get hung-up about injecting and testing when eating out, nobody really notices and nobody really cares.

 

[Diamattic]

I feel ya on this one. It was really tough at first for me as well, and resulted in a lots of post meal highs and corrections.
I found that if I did some research on the popular restaurants in the area, or common meals i would be having and how many carbs to expect it made it easier. I would just order the same thing every time, and then once I've nailed that meal i would write it down and remember it - if I was feeling risky i would try something new and then order that the next 3 or 4 times until i nailed that carb count.

It really helps if you have an idea of what you will order as soon as possible - when in doubt get a salad lol Or i guess if you eat meat some meat dish with veggies on the side, no fries or bread.

I also find that if you are in smaller groups you can discuss what everyone thinks the carbs will be - I play a little game where I ask around the table what everyone thinks the carbs on my meal will be, then tell them what I think it would be and inject for that and 2 hours later let them know who wins based on wheather I was high or low lol In the right groups it gets people engaged, stretches out the time so I can do all my checks and bolusing, and makes people aware in a friendly non-intimidating way. Obviously it depends on who you are with, but it can lead to interesting conversations and discussions if you steer it properly and keep it lighthearted.

 

[Kristin251]

I eat most meals at home now but we used to frequent a favorite restaurant. I always tested and injected at the bar. We usually had the same server and I would do this in front of her when our food came. I would also test in front of her when we were ordering. She never noticed any of it until I asked her if it bothered her just out of courtesy. She said she never noticed.

Like @Diamattic i order the same thing everywhere. Either Caesar salad ( sans the croutons) or Cobb salad. If I order Cobb I ask for the lettuce on one plate and the topping on another. I get very close with my bolus. My husband generally orders a burger so I get a few bites of his burger and he gets at least 1/2 my salad.

I don't make any kind of deal about testing or injecting. I do turn toward my husband to inject though. I don't hide it but I don't make any issues out of it. Nobody has ever said anything. If they did I would say ' it's not heroin, it keeps me alive. Lucky for you that you don't have to do it.

 

[Ledzeptt]

I think I understand a little how you feel: when I was initially diagnosed, I didn't feel ashamed, but I was very self-conscious about testing and injecting in front of others. There was no way I could do this in a restaurant or pub, or even in front of family at first (other than with my wife, I'd move into another room where I could be alone). It was partly lack of confidence and partly not wanting to cause (imagined) offence/distress to others.

2 years later, testing and injecting seems the most natural thing in the world, and I'll do it at my work desk, in a busy restaurant, anywhere. I do it quickly and without a fuss, so haven't noticed anyone watching me. Importantly, no one's ever said anything (customers or staff), so there's really no need to feel embarrassed.

I use the free MyFitnessPal app on my phone: when eating out at chain restaurants and pubs (e.g. Pizza Express, Wetherspoons) it already has the carbs (and cals etc) for popular meals.

All I can say is: take a deep breath, ignore everyone else, and just get on with it - then enjoy your meal/your life!

 

[Energize]

"I also find that if you are in smaller groups you can discuss what everyone thinks the carbs will be - I play a little game where I ask around the table what everyone thinks the carbs on my meal will be, then tell them what I think it would be and inject for that and 2 hours later let them know who wins based on wheather I was high or low lol In the right groups it gets people engaged, stretches out the time so I can do all my checks and bolusing, and makes people aware in a friendly non-intimidating way. Obviously it depends on who you are with, but it can lead to interesting conversations and discussions if you steer it properly and keep it lighthearted."

Hi Diamattic

I rather like this idea of yours, thanks very much.

Some of my friends, one in particular, are struggling to understand what I will/won't eat. Yesterday, for instance, I went to her's for lunch and the main course was OK, although I did avoid some of the veg (turnip, parsnip and potatoes), but she then produced a trifle for dessert Normal jelly, normal custard, artificial cream with some strawberries and sprinkles on the top So, I asked for a very small amount. Her husband then put a good-sized portion in the dish and went to add more. So, I asked if that dish could be given to someone else but my friend merely took the added portion off. I had to resist eating half of it Even by traditional diets, I don't understand why they didn't understand there was so much sugar in the trifle. Another friend, who had also been invited, fortunately backed me up as she is much more aware of what I do/don't eat now.

Another friend very kindly made me a birthday cake, earlier this year. Chocolate cake, loads of chocolate icing, with halved chocolate buttons in the icing so as to resemble a hedgehog (coz I watch out for hedgehogs etc) They all know I'm diabetic (T2) and that I can't resist such stuff. I don't think they're intentionally trying to kill me off, though

Your idea would help increase their awareness, I would hope, although I can imagine a couple of my friends would take a dim view of taking part in doing this Well, they can talk amongst themselves, eh?

Julie