A Tiny Whinge

Grant_Vicat

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Intolerance, selfishness, rice pudding
I wonder why people think it is an ok topic to comment on my weight, whether that be loss or gain.

When I lost 49kg, casual aquaintances were curious and asked some very personal questions. My response after a while became ‘ I only discuss such personal and medical issues with my medical team, and my loved ones’. Any that persisted in questioning were told “I am not sure you have understood that this is not something I wish to discuss with you”. If that didn’t work it escalated to “Mind your own business!” That usually worked. If not I resorted to expletives. Not able to repeat here. I figure anyone so rude as to not get the message deserved rude response.
My wife said "it really irritates me that work colleagues only started to talk to me afyter I had lost 7 stone! I'm still me!"
 

Grant_Vicat

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My surgery didn’t have a diabetes nurse for the first few years after my diagnosis, so my F/Us were with my GP. At my first appt, he expressed amazement at my improvement in HbA1c and my substantial weight loss, but didn’t ask how I’d done it! I wasn’t letting that pass by and asked, “can I tell you how I did it?” He didn’t pass much comment, I think he didn’t know much about low carb eating to be honest! At subsequent reviews with him and then the newly appointed diabetes nurse, they just said oh you’re the one who eats low carb!
And presumably it never entered their heads that you were the only example of success!
 

Lamont D

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I am having a ‘me too moment’.
When I was young, I wasn’t brave enough to answer back. Next generation, I made sure my daughter had the courage to call out any sort of body shaming comments.
I was a very thin or a young athletic pre teen.
Won't go into why.
However, my memory has reminded me of being with my mum or dad on a few occasions and other people asked if I was ill? Phrases such as, he could do with some fat on him. Is he eating enough?
And others.
Why would they say such things?
The perception back then and still in some. Is obviously if you are thin, you are ill, and only healthy if you are carrying excess weight.
It is a common theme, that having a bit of a heavier frame, means a better catch for future progeny.
Of course it is rubbish.

I even remember one of my ever changing dsns, advising me not to lose too much weight!!!!!!
OMG!
 

Pipp

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I even remember one of my ever changing dsns, advising me not to lose too much weight!!!!!!
OMG!
Oh yes! A neighbour…. “Don’t lose any more weight. You will just look gaunt! “
How very dare you! For once I remained silent.
 

lovinglife

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I was very skinny when younger my nickname was Olive Oil & then weight went on slowly until I was diagnosed with PCOS in my early 20s, then in my 40s weight went on at an alarming rate, this I now know to be undiagnosed T2 and not to do with anything I was doing- the comments I got in my early years and my late teens is what lead to my now lifetime eating disorder that sometimes is very much in the background and is completely manageable - sometimes it’s a minute by minute battle that governs my every waking hour.

Throw away comments from people especially in the formative years can cause damage that lasts a lifetime
 

Pipp

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My mod status prevents me from taking the thread off topic. Have to set good examples, and all that.;). suffice to say evil aunts have a lot to answer for, and can be toxic to young, impressionable young girls.
 

jjraak

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Bear with me. I do try not to whinge.

Here I am very happy with now-normal BG and weight loss through four clothes sizes, all due to keto/low carb and the support from you lot (thanks ever so).

And apart from no medic has even SEEN me since original diagnosis 2 and a half years ago, nor asked what I have done to get here - people I know who have seen the new me refuse to believe it's all down to diet, and give me that funny look before telling me I have either had gastric sleeve surgery or else am on injectables.

There is nothing to criticise about those lifelines - whatever works is good - but how I wish I could have some acknowledgement of what I (and you) have actually done. It could help so many others.
Fantastic effort ...bravo

Agree on the lack of acknowledgement.

Lost near on 3 stone, new wardrobe & from 58 to 40 HBA1c in almost 6 months.

Docs sent me a well done, which was nice, but no one asked how Eatwell & die, worked so well :rolleyes: :banghead:...unless of course everyone at my surgery got to remission as well.

On a slightly different tangent, I was that skinny kid at school.

All knees & elbows

Put weight on around twenties, ( filled out, I think they called it back then.)

But late 40's life just made me 'bigger' year after year, a fact I accepted until dx & lchf made me see it wasn't inevitable.

Lost the weight, began jogging & joined a gym, I was in my best shape in decades.
but felt gaunt, that lower weight really wasn't a good look for me.

We had been going to India for holidays, many years.

Went back after DX & weight loss, people we knew quietly asked other half if had cancer.

Came back & put on a little weight....felt & looked 'better'

Doubt I'd ever get or try to be that weight again or the BMI, etc says I should be.. ho Hum


Hugs for all those affected by the flippant & downright rude remarks that echo down the years.

Congrats to all who lost weight or managed better control of their T2D.

Took me a while but I know realise that for me, type 2 management is like playing golf...the person I am really playing against is ME .

The other players doing well are just goals to aim for & copy if I can

And others doing less well are the ones I stop for & offer what little advice I can, that worked for me in the hope they too might benefit from it, like I did.

Then it's back to trying to improve my own game.
 
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jjraak

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That typo(?) just made me spit out my drink! :hilarious:
No typo...that's the plan, right.
(Yep, I am very cynical)

"What you're doing is making you ill..so carry on doing it ..NEXT "

Depressing thought, but from what I saw on the two day course, I doubt many from my Desmond's course have avoided serious issues or being given more & more meds to help them manage their diabetes, rather than change their diet, because they naively listened and trusted 'that' message.... :sorry:

Not sure, but when you know a huge wave is heading your way, it's best to move away from it not towards it.

Yeah, I'm weird like that.
 
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zand

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Type of diabetes
Type 2
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Diet only
I felt belittled when people mentioned my weight/body shape.

Sadly I sometimes feel the same way on this forum. People who have successfully lost weight (often at the first time of trying) tell me I can't count calories, eat too much, don't exercise enough etc. In other words it's all my fault, it worked for them and therefore I'm not doing it properly. I get that from my GPs (and used to get it from my nasty aunt) I don't expect it here. Thankfully it's just a minority of people. Most will listen to the experiences of others without judging.

Rant over. Onwards.
 
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LivingLightly

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Thank you all SO much for your kind empathetic comments. I feel so much less whingy having read them. I'd give you all a Trophy if I could.
Are these know-it-all folk overweight @Outlier? Have they tried to lose weight and failed? If so, could be a touch of schadenfreude.

Regardless, you're setting them an example. If they don't wish to follow, it's their choice.
 
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LivingLightly

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Even when weight is not an issue, you're not immune from insensitive comments. Just as irritating are those busybodies who tell me I'm unnecessarily strict with carbs.

The reason? Because a casual acquaintance (usually a workmate) is "diabetic" and often eats a chocolate bar during their tea break.

These days, I simply say that diabetes is a very individual disorder. Some of us can handle a light snack between meals, many of us can't and swiftly change the subject.
 

jaywak

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Cold weather, angry people, queues,
Even when weight is not an issue, you're not immune from insensitive comments. Just as irritating are those busybodies who tell me I'm unnecessarily strict with carbs.

The reason? Because a casual acquaintance (usually a workmate) is "diabetic" and often eats a chocolate bar during their tea break.

These days, I simply say that diabetes is a very individual disorder. Some of us can handle a light snack between meals, many of us can't and swiftly change the subject.
It is awful but you have to think why would they understand it if it's not their problem ? I had to bite my tongue several times last week on holiday with a couple of friends who told me several times I should relax and eat whatever I wanted , my mate who I've known for 50 yrs jokes that he eats whatever he wants, and he does, even though he's pre diabetic and a bit chubby and moans and groans about aches and pains and is always nodding off with tiredness , i'me too polite to say to him I look after myself because I don't want to end up like you !
 

Pipp

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I felt belittled when people mentioned my weight/body shape.

Sadly I sometimes feel the same way on this forum. People who have successfully lost weight (often at the first time of trying) tell me I can't count calories, eat too much, don't exercise enough etc. In other words it's all my fault, it worked for them and therefore I'm not doing it properly. I get that from my GPs (and used to get it from my nasty aunt) I don't expect it here. Thankfully it's just a minority of people. Most will listen to the experiences of others without judging.

Rant over. Onwards.
Repoert this every time, as we have rules.