• Guest - w'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the 2025 Survey »

BF 'forgets' I am diabetic

**shell**

Well-Known Member
Messages
116
Location
Newcastle Upon Tyne
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Insects, ignorance, horror films.
Hiya
I have deleted several drafts of this thread because they are a little whiny.

So here is the simplified version...

Anyone else struggle with disinterested (probably a bit too strong a word) partners? Or anyone have any tips that can help me try and drip feed him info?

He loves me and he understands to an extent but I don't feel he really truly understands the seriousness of the condition or how much time and energy I have to put into it.

Thanks Shell
xoxox



Sent from my SM-G920F using Diabetes.co.uk Forum mobile app
 
Is your partner open to the idea of attending your diabetes appointments, maybe that way he can see how much time and effort you put in to managing your type 1 diabetes.
 
noblehead said:
Is your partner open to the idea of attending your diabetes appointments, maybe that way he can see how much time and effort you put in to managing your type 1 diabetes.
Click to expand...
He came along to one but he is a teacher and therefore can't always get to them... might arrange my next one for school holidays. Very good idea @noblehead x

Sent from my SM-G920F using Diabetes.co.uk Forum mobile app
 
My BF appears to have limited interest in my diabetes. However, he was incredibly supportive when I had a serious hypo so I know he cares ... he just doesn't always think about the effects of eating lots of carbs or anything just before I go to bed.

On thing that helped was making it a bit of a game ... guess how many carbs in this meal. Certainly made him more aware and gave him something to do which made him feel useful.
 
Hi Shell, I would write him a diary of your day and everything that connects you to your t1, so from waking to bedtime, how it affects your thinking, when you test, inject, what decisions you make about your management, food choices, exercise, activities, everything, it's quite a revelation so perhaps a tongue in cheek version relating to how many times you think about your boyfriend vs your t1 perhaps !
 
I think this is just a standard accidental human failing. My wife has an under active thyroid and used to explain the chronic fatigue, it was not until I got Type 2 and had similar tiredness that I trully got it, as she would just get on with things. My point is I would walk over hot coals for her, but did not have enough experience to really get it, your boy friend might be in a similar boat.

As for my wife after changing our family diet her energy levels have soared, and the scales are very kind, I have asked her to get her thyroid levels re-checked.
 
Does he know why you put so much time and energy into it? The threat of very nasty complications if you didn't? That might give him a jolt, just like your hypo did.
 

You could show him this post and the comment; you could show him on line the kinds of serious complications that can result of you don't focus on it so much. To be honest, you really need to sit him down and talk through how important it is to you that he realises you need support and his understanding...and do it when you are both in a good place rather than at a time when you feel wound up. I hope you get there. Lots of people's partners don't quite get it - but they need to! Don't be too nice!
 
I read a troubling post on the forum about retinopathy recently and said to my other half, have you seen this? He read it and I think, hopefully, the seriousness of all this will sink in over time.
 
Hi @**shell** . My belief is that no one understands diabetes like a diabetic. It's not just a physical condition but even more so a mental/ emotional condition.
If a non diabetic fully understood diabetes they would have to be diabetic.
We can only attempt to help them understand our life.
My wife is fantastic and helps so much, but she will never understand and I never expect her to.
 
**shell** said:
He came along to one but he is a teacher and therefore can't always get to them... might arrange my next one for school holidays. Very good idea @noblehead x

Sent from my SM-G920F using Diabetes.co.uk Forum mobile app
Click to expand...

Although the following is a lighthearted it does have a serious point on how demanding (and frustrating) type 1 diabetes can be, why not show him the vid @shell :

 
I feel for you, lovely, it must suck to feel that way!

If I was you, I'd definitely try and pop on some shows which feature some extreme emergencies to do with diabetes to raise the conversation. Every time me & my oh sit down and a diabetic emergency pops on the tv it always evolves into a full on conversation about control and all the effort we put in to stop that from being me etc.

A case of a dear type 1 lady who took an insulin overdose was on Louis Theroux's a different brain on Tuesday evening and it definitely sparked a huge conversation in our household about control and emotions of everyone in the house regarding my diabetes and the disease in general! So might be worth a try with something like that, just to raise the convo a little more?! x
 
noblehead said:
There's more from Type 1 Uncut, they are great vids, especially for the younger generation who have type 1
Click to expand...
A font of information you be. At 53 do I still cut it as the younger generation?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Menu
Log in
Register
Cookies are required to use this site. You must accept them to continue using the site. Learn More.…