RosieLKH
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 735
- Type of diabetes
- Type 2
- Treatment type
- Tablets (oral)
Oh no... I've now found previous offerings:
Paddy says, "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador.” "Sod that," says Mick, "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid........then I was petrified.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said you’re obviously not listening.
The wife was counting all the 10p's and 20p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkers saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexist pigs. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloomin thing.
Local Police, hunting the 'knitting needle nutter’, who has stabbed six people in the village in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it.
A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their picks nicked."
Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service
What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”
Paddy says, "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador.” "Sod that," says Mick, "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid........then I was petrified.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said you’re obviously not listening.
The wife was counting all the 10p's and 20p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkers saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexist pigs. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloomin thing.
Local Police, hunting the 'knitting needle nutter’, who has stabbed six people in the village in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it.
A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their picks nicked."
Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service
What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”
lol 