My son (aged 12) was diagnosed with T1just under three months ago. He's had a hard time accepting this and has on occasions said he would rather let "nature take its course" and he doesn't want to inject anymore, which has been horrible. He is generally mature and reasonable but is obviously just finding it hard to deal with. I have put some private counselling in place for him which starts next week. His team are putting him onto a pump but I find I'm obsessed with his numbers, which I would imagine is not helping him at all, although I try not to show it. He is all over the place after half term and we are not hitting Time In Target of 70% at the moment, which just makes me feel sick all the time.
Do you ever learn to relax about this?
Hi there, it must be very hard for you and the whole family as well. Based on one paragraph it's hard to advise in any way and I don't have a 12 year old type 1 child. However, I will make a few observations. You say he is mature and reasonable for his age and that he is having a hard time accepting it, and you say that you are obsessed with his numbers and feeling sick because he's not hitting 70% of his 'target'. This is after just 3 months. Even as an adult it takes a darn sight longer than 3 months to even understand what's going on, never mind accepting it and as for targets.....
I fully understand how you would be anxious, upset and all the rest but I suspect that is transferring itself to your son. If he sees you agonising over this 'target', I wonder if he is thinking he is failing in some way, a bit like at school when the Teachers are looking all disappointed and saying 'must try harder'. Forgive me if this is not the case but I wonder if you could step back a little, he is 12, it sounds like he could actually do most of his management himself (with your overall guidance of course) and this might help him to realise that whether he is hitting this 'target' or not, that is NOT a reflection on him but an inevitable consequence of this condition.
Look at us lot, do we always hit our targets? Type 1 diabetes is a horrible condition which takes up all of our time, as you know it is not simply a question of counting carbs & injecting. Your lad in particular must have hormones galore knocking about, he could do the same thing every day and his glucose levels are still likely to be up and down or up and up. If he is stressed and consistently under scrutiny, that too won't help his levels. He is probably feeling pee'd off at school too, his levels are being checked, he's being treated differently by the Teachers who are probably overdoing their observations, he is probably thinking diabetes is nothing but one long, chaotic pain.
Be careful also of saying 'well done' when he does meet a target, this gives the impression that to not meet it must therefore generate a 'What are you doing' response.
You sound like a lovely, caring Mum, you really do but I would just take a step back for now, let him breathe, let him retain a semblance of normalcy. If the numbers won't play ball well as long as they are not dangerously out of sync (and you would know this as would his team) then he may be able to relax a bit more. Of course you cannot just leave him to get on with it but I guess I'm saying can you calm down yourself? The very best of luck to you.
