Don't involve yourself in the blame game.

snowwy said:

that's all very positive and good luck to you. though i now about my own body that better medication reduced overeating a lot and of course i lost weight. I your case i find it astonishing how you claim to be a newly diagnosed expert and you are more than happy to blame it all on your poor lifestyle choices. Well, your lifestyle choices were poor because your body gives you the wrong signals in the first place... but never mind. What i really object to that you think because you lost a couple of pounds and you feel better that you now have the answer and your declared lemon drissle enemy is to be combated... lets wait and see when christmas comes with is destructive delights and easter and birthdays and and and ... 10 years down the line you might feel a lot differently because it is never just one cake, one beer or one this or that, it is a body that constantly signals that you are not getting nutrition... which you do not, you are diabetic, the sugar your body expects does not get delivered... your body indicates starvation... then you fight against all the cakes, the beers and everything else that might also give you a reward response/

i truly hope that for you it is a matter of moving around and defeating the monster pastries but you might want to read a bit more and watch a few more lectures and maybe listen to what people say about this cursed illness (for which many have genetics to back my claim that the body goes wrong first as pre-diabetuc, then the body stores and demands excess foods and then you become a diabetic.

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Yeah, before covid 19 I was walking 40 miles week, 10 hours gym and eating less than 50 carbs a day.

Various factors related to covid 19 interrupted my routine, for past 3 months Ive walked about 2 miles week, no gym, drinking litre coke a day, pints of milk, endless crisps and sweets and carbs.

I know I will get back to healthy lifestyle, but it is so easy to fall of the wagon and give in to those cravings

This is a great thread. I just finished a conference call with my far flung team in Europe, Middle East and all the way down to deepest South Africa. Pre-Covid, I travelled all over the place for work and have not been near an airport since last March.

I told the guys about my T2 diagnosis and how we're handling it at home and one of them said "Probably your own fault for not looking at what you were eating and drinking on the road over so many years so you've only got yourself to blame". Hmm. Got me thinking and made me feel quite ashamed. I started looking back to 2002 when I began the travelling and horror has hit me as she might indeed be right...the late nights, the burger joints, the beers...bayjaysus!

Hindsight is always 20/20 vision - the key is drawing a line and doing what you have to do now - but the comment took the wind out of my sails...

BRSBRI said:

I told the guys about my T2 diagnosis and how we're handling it at home and one of them said "Probably your own fault for not looking at what you were eating and drinking on the road over so many years so you've only got yourself to blame". Hmm. Got me thinking and made me feel quite ashamed. I started looking back to 2002 when I began the travelling and horror has hit me as she might indeed be right...the late nights, the burger joints, the beers...bayjaysus

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Don't beat yourself up so. Quite often there wouldn't have been low carb option, even if you had known to look for it. Many many huge multinational companies have spent fortunes trying to get you to spend all that money on food and beers. And diabetes might well have a genetic link too. Ignore your colleague. The key thing is you are doing what you can now.

MrsA2 said:

Don't beat yourself up so. Quite often there wouldn't have been low carb option, even if you had known to look for it. Many many huge multinational companies have spent fortunes trying to get you to spend all that money on food and beers. And diabetes might well have a genetic link too. Ignore your colleague. The key thing is you are doing what you can now.

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Thank you @MrsA2 Despite the numbers of Diabetics (8% of the UK population according to some recent estimates) there's a lot of ignorance and shaming still out there.

My maternal grandmother was diagnosed diabetic after a heart attack in the 70s when she was 60+. Smoked like a chimney and swore by those diabetic sweeties Boots used to flog...she lived well into her 90s ...

The colleague in question has her performance review led by yours truly next week...I'm not vindictive, honest...

Interesting to read some of the more recent posts on this thread.

My father has 'occasional' type 2 diabetes, sometimes he is just over the HbA1c limit and sometimes he is under, he was treated with MetFormin but is no off it, so I appear to be pre-disposed to it.

Even so, I have always eaten what I want, and until 2 years drank what I wanted when I wanted, I stopped drinking in April 2019 and lost some weight (BMI peak was 32, so I needed to).

For me, I feel like this is 3/4 my fault (can't think of a better term) and 1/4 genetics.

I have for the moment I fell like I have gripped it with both hands, reduced my HbA1c from 116 to 62 in 8 weeks and I am eating better, and exercising regularly (something I haven't done for 25 years). I am 3 stone lighter than my peak two years ago, and 2 stone lighter than in Aug 2020.

I need a medical for my work and whilst it has been suspended temporarily, it is due to be re-issued this week, I think that has probably been a great motivator.

I don't blame myself, but I do accept responsibility for what has happened and what to do about it.

I'm feeling rather low, my blood test in November was 6.9 so I changed my whole diet to low carb. Just had a blood test at the beginning of March 21. And the nurse rang me with the results. My blood test 6.0 but apparently still not good enough. I feel guilty about all of it even though I have dramatically changed my whole diet. Now I just feel I have wasted my time. I just don't see the point of being so disciplined if the end result is the same. So I've got to go back to a diabetic specialist nurse. I have had type 2 since I was 27 I'm now 55 and I'm sick to death of it.

CATHYJAY said:

I'm feeling rather low, my blood test in November was 6.9 so I changed my whole diet to low carb. Just had a blood test at the beginning of March 21. And the nurse rang me with the results. My blood test 6.0 but apparently still not good enough. I feel guilty about all of it even though I have dramatically changed my whole diet. Now I just feel I have wasted my time. I just don't see the point of being so disciplined if the end result is the same. So I've got to go back to a diabetic specialist nurse. I have had type 2 since I was 27 I'm now 55 and I'm sick to death of it.

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how many carbs are you having?

Don't agree with the first post. It's modern to say now: "it is not my fault, it's genetic... it is... it is... ". No, it is and was my fault I have DBII now.

Well said, blame is a pretty useless tool in the fight against DM2. We all have to deal with the facts. Nearly two years after diagnosis I find the overwhelming feeling I have is anger. In my opinion I am doing ok hba1c was 94 now 48, and I would like to think I have a fairly good understanding of what my body is doing. It does not pass a day that I don’t curse my pancreas which I picture as a lazy teenager in a hammock saying to me “yeah yeah I’ll do it in a minute” and nothing seems to kick it i to action. I had a fantastic HCP at diagnosis, she was encouraging, understanding, informative and told me to live ! Now She has left and I am left with someone who is just filling the gap and answers my questions by looking on the computer in front of me. I think I am better left to my own devices and to the support of my fellow DM2s on the forum. Stay safe everybody

You know in my case hard to tell, all my family going back at least 3 generations are diabetic except for one. So I dont I thinke genetics plays a part.

However I don't care if my 'bad' choices over food gave me this. Living on salads for fifty years vs eating what I like, is a price worth paying. Of course I am taking steps to reverse this. If I continued my bad ways and lost leg etc then it wouldnt be a price worth paying. Now Im older I cant really eat what I used to anywhere so restricting my diet in later years small price to pay.

I don't 'blame' myself but I do accept responsibility for my actions. I'm not going to pretend I have none. The important thing is to not dwell on the past and just get on with living.

Incidently all my family(uncles,aunts, great auts etc) lived well into there 90s and 80s, none ever had complications from Diabetes despite being diagnosed. They also continued to eat cakes etc.

I think we all need to remember that the figures we are supposed to aim for are averages and as many people know there is no such thing. We are all different and what can be one person’s normal may not be the same for another.

Since last August I’ve lost a stone so am now down to 8st 4lbs. I was following the advice of Michael Moseley and cut visible carbs to 2 slices of wholemeal bread for breakfast. I ate loads more veg including pulses, more protein and a slight increase in “health” fats and cut out sugars in cakes etc. Result, my blood sugars are just the same as they were 9 months ago. As I rarely drink alcohol I don’t see what else I should but I’m not going to feel guilty. I have the occasional treat and this will continue. I’m doing the best I can right now and that’s enough.

Hi, I'm posting for the first time as a newly diagnosed T2 and I really needed to read the OP today. It's taken me a couple of weeks to stop feeling horribly depressed and self-hating, that it's all my fault for being overweight and I'm stupid etc. The fact is that my parents were both very overweight, as am I, and my dad had diabetes and was told it was genetic, so I was always predisposed. I'm starting to calm down now, and I'm working out ways to manage doing the things I enjoy doing while watching my blood sugar levels. Being proactive and planning ahead is something I can do, so this is an improvement already for me. I still need to talk to the diabetes nurse, so there's a lot I don't know about what treatments I need, but dealing with the mental health side of it always comes first for me as I struggle in general that way.

Mandyque said:

Hi, I'm posting for the first time as a newly diagnosed T2 and I really needed to read the OP today. It's taken me a couple of weeks to stop feeling horribly depressed and self-hating, that it's all my fault for being overweight and I'm stupid etc. The fact is that my parents were both very overweight, as am I, and my dad had diabetes and was told it was genetic, so I was always predisposed. I'm starting to calm down now, and I'm working out ways to manage doing the things I enjoy doing while watching my blood sugar levels. Being proactive and planning ahead is something I can do, so this is an improvement already for me. I still need to talk to the diabetes nurse, so there's a lot I don't know about what treatments I need, but dealing with the mental health side of it always comes first for me as I struggle in general that way.

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Welcome @Mandyque.
We all go through a grieving stage on diagnosis. Everyone is different so the time it takes and how that grief effects you is individually to you.
I grieved for my healthy lifestyle (or so I thought) and my work hard/play hard motto. I believed because I didn't smoke nor drank much I was keeping healthy, far healthier than my siblings/ cousins / aunties + uncles and parents alike. I'm the only diabetic. Eh? How does that seem fair?
Acceptance was my key to motivation to make safer changes for me.
You will power ahead. You will conquer your aims. Then another acceptance of enjoying your good work is definitely allowed in fact it's a must.
I've worked hard but just short of stopping insulin therapy. Refusing weight gaining meds after losing huge weight seems the right thing to do for me right now. I'm keen to power through maybe losing more but not prepared to wear myself out trying more walking or carrying heavy bags. For now anyway. I'm only a few weeks away from having my gallbladder out so I'm taking things easy. When I remember that is.
You have a great adventure in your life and it sounds like you've started well. Also never never feel its yur fault your metabolism has gone haywire. It happens to loads of people. We are not alone. Myself I do envy those brought up by conscious and knowledgeable parents. My guess there isn't many. However more now than when I was growing up on the 1970s. Well we can all dream can't we. I the ideal world we would have come with a manual after all.
This type2 'curse' seems unimaginable when looking into your babies eyes who popped out perfect. It can effect anyone. I had symptoms when I was 6yrs old.
Good luck with your journey and enjoy posters here. It's lovely having a diabetic family for to ask questions to help you grow. I've been posting for years. I message friends and still have contact via emails and see old posters alive and healthy on facebook. Some disappear then reappear again. Its all for the individuals pace and need.
It's lovely to see your post and I look forward to seeing how you get on. Many just read posts and don't reply or add anything but they are watching your journey unfold. They see how brave you get and when it becomes confusing until you figure your needs out. Stay safe and enjoy making friends.

Mandyque said:

Hi, I'm posting for the first time as a newly diagnosed T2 and I really needed to read the OP today. It's taken me a couple of weeks to stop feeling horribly depressed and self-hating, that it's all my fault for being overweight and I'm stupid etc. The fact is that my parents were both very overweight, as am I, and my dad had diabetes and was told it was genetic, so I was always predisposed. I'm starting to calm down now, and I'm working out ways to manage doing the things I enjoy doing while watching my blood sugar levels. Being proactive and planning ahead is something I can do, so this is an improvement already for me. I still need to talk to the diabetes nurse, so there's a lot I don't know about what treatments I need, but dealing with the mental health side of it always comes first for me as I struggle in general that way.

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Your story is similar to mine history wise, I started running and up to now I’ve lost 4 stone since last August and I am just about to come off Metformin, all my HbA1c figures this year have been normal. I listened to an audiobook called “The Diabetes Code” by Dr Jason Fung, some of his analogies are good enough to have helped me decide what to do to try and put my T2 into remission, and it seems to be working.

Literally I’ve used weight loss through running and slightly better diet,and constant BG checking at first to see what agrees and disagrees with me.

I am not obese I still fall into the group

Iswole said:

I am not obese I still fall into the group

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Although being overweight is certainly a issue for some, it is not the only reason for someone becoming T2.
Genetics, side effects of medication, who knows.
There are many T2's who are not overweight and most obese people do not have T2
Being overweight is a risk factor for T2 diabetes. It's also a risk factor for heart attack, cancer and many other health problems but people of normal weight are not somehow protected, they can and do still have heart problems, cancer, T2 and everything else.

Thanks a lot! My mother was diabetic and she managed for 35 years before passing on at age 83.

In the last three years I have sunk into a major depression.
I don't like the taste of low carb foods so struggle to control my numbers these days.
I am a suger addict, of this I have no doubt, despite this, and with the help of the meds the Doctor has me taking to combat and control my type 2, I have now lost six stone.
It has taken me a looooonnnnngggg time, almost ten years, since first being diagnosed.
When I was first diagnosed I was upbeat and really doing all I could to try to get my T2 under control, (I come from a "large" family and just thought that my middle age spread was inevitable). My numbers were fine for about 5 years and then something changed internally. So much so, that, I had to change from a diet and exercise regime which kept me in the 5-7mol range, to a more aggressive one with stronger medications as my numbers crept up to high 7's and mid range 8's.
I persevered, trying until despite my best efforts, things started going downhill for me. It seemed that nothing I did helped and that I was in a no win situation
Mood swings, general bad temper, and misery were finally diagnosed as depression.
My old Doctor had been supportive and knew what a struggle I have trying to keep my head above water so to speak.
I even managed to aquire a blood testing unit to see if I could help myself more but, the new Doctor at my local surgery won't put the test strips on my repeat prescription slip as I'm "only a T2 and don't need them or it".
Wish I had my old Doc back, he at least was helpful.
For the first time since I was 13 years old I am now under 13 stone again, not bad for a 62 year old I thought, especially to get down from 19st as I was at my worst, new Doc wants me to loose another stone! Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!! Is it any wonder I feel like **it and I'm always **ssed off?
When I read all the Holy Joes banging on about self inflicted, and the hell mend you nonsense, I just want to punch someone, Grrrr!
Ok, rant over.
This article and the posts attached, has helped me realise that this is not my fault, it's a disease which I have to try and deal with, however, I still find it hard to cope at times.

I totally get you as I am so fed up with the self inflicted weight. Every time you see a Gp the issue is my weight. So many fattist and when they say type two is due to obesity and if you less ate x y and z it would cure it. I get frustrated. Well done for losing six stone and still they ain’t happy. I give in . Thanks for sharing

There are other reasons too for developing T2, like stress, Covid and Nast viruses. Also heart meds can contribute to weight gain! In the last 2/3 years I had 2 really nasty viruses that could well have been Covid, developed Peripheral Atrial Fibrillation and then T2, if that wasn’t enough I had a Femoral hernia emergency last December. AND even more, July saw the death of my autistic youngest brother through hospital neglect and negligence, inquests 21/12!!
Why are my numbers all over the place‍
I went low carb and lost about 2 1/2 stone, I reckon my heart meds are partially to blame for weight gain as I was eating less and less before T2. My Consultant endocrinologist says ‘Covid’ and now I’ve read it. My HBa1C WAS 138 no symptoms!! Got it down to 50 in matter of few months, how??