1. Get the Diabetes Forum App for your phone - available on iOS and Android.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Guest, we'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the Diabetes Forum Survey 2020 »
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Diabetes Forum should not be used in an emergency and does not replace your healthcare professional relationship. Posts can be seen by the public.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Guest, stay home, stay safe, save the NHS. Stay up to date with information about keeping yourself and people around you safe here and GOV.UK: Coronavirus (COVID-19). Think you have symptoms? NHS 111 service is available here.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Find support, ask questions and share your experiences. Join the community »

Don't involve yourself in the blame game.

Discussion in 'Type 2 Diabetes' started by catherinecherub, Jun 17, 2011.

  1. snowwy

    snowwy Type 2 · Active Member

    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    17
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Happy to read this thread here.

    I had issues with blood sugar drops all of my life from when i was roughly 12 years old. Of course I did not know what it was but I showed signs that something was not right and my mother tested me for diabetes on a few occasions which was only a basic test, which says nothing. It took me to turn 30, seriously overweight and pregnant to finally get a proper diabetes test and the hounding down of my very bad eating "habits" began...It was all my fault according to every health care professional, if only I stopped eating so much.

    I can now say that in hindsight, this eating habits thing and the "addicted to certain foods" is a load of [insert expletive]. At some point, about two years ago, I possibly got better meds or something changed in my body.. something "clicked" and I finally felt no need to over eat any longer. I stopped stuffing bars of chocolate and crisps into me every day and my body started to reject the insane amounts of carbs that I used to crave.

    No, this is not because I lost weight, in fact I had gained weight because on recommendation on the doctors I had shed a huge amount of weight in my mid thirties and staved off the progress of diabetes for a while. I starved myself for it for over two years and yes, I felt healthier and I felt much better all around and I found it weird that people in the streets did not stare and laugh at me any longer but...
    ... when you tell your doctor that you starved yourself for two years, they expect you to carry right on with it until I asked my previous GP, have you ever been hungry every minute of your life for over a year? He obviously never thought of it that way.
    He put me forward to having some weight loss surgery but with my social anxiety and the prospect of even more hanging skin, which was my constant reminder of the lost weight, I bottled out and did not go ahead with it. BTW I call weight loss surgery "prescribed anorexia" because it is exactly that, it is making no difference to the underlying issue and it is depriving the body of nutrients that it may need as opposed to just cutting down on the calories. Yes, you are supposed to change your lifestyle and go exercise like a maniac (try that when you got arthritis, a frozen shoulder and other issues). UNSUSTAINABLE you probably won't lose weight forever unless you remove, cut, staple or strangle the stomach and you get bullied into not eating what your body demands.

    Personally, I decided that I will never let anyone restrict the amount of courgettes I eat but weight loss surgery will do that. Same with the choice of food or drink, I will not get my stomach to the size that I cannot drink as much as I need and this is another thing, I transformed my bad kidneys into seriously good ones by drinking, as much as I want, as often as I want ... but obviously it was camomile tea which I was crazy about for as long it took until my kidneys were great again.

    Next lot of health care professionals "you need to lose weight" ... told them that I lost already 1/3 of my previous body weight .... it was as if I had not said anything. Told them that I would get very upset if they continued to patronise me and minimise my efforts to lose weight.... and then something clicked inside me.

    Suddenly, I lose weight, I am not overly hungry any more, I have barely any cravings for sweets or crisps...

    All I want now is somebody medical to take notice and for once maybe accept that there might be much more than "comfort eating", "habits", "addictions", "out of control" etc etc to it... WAKE UP medical profession and find the issue because nobody is born to eat themselves into an early grave (apart from people with Prader - Willy Syndrome of course). Nobody enjoys hauling around a body for what you are being laughed at, ridiculed, belittled and shamed for. So I lost 4 stone, naturally, no diet, no "regime" no gym etc.. naturally because my body changed somewhat.

    Then I took a genetic test and lo and behold, I am allergic to wheat and milk... And that is what I changed, I have a little bit of milk in my tea in the morning, I eat a very reduced amount of wheat products... why was that not found out by doctors in 2 different countries over the space of 50 years?

    No more blaming game, I push the blame right back to those who claim that their whole life is devoted to curing people but when it comes to fat then they are not willing to do anything put point the finger at the patient who then stands alone with a body that gives the wrong messages and is set to fail every single diet without anyone giving you an ounce of credibility.


    I needed that rant, thank you for reading it.

    D.
     
    • Hug Hug x 4
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  2. neithskye

    neithskye Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    235
    Likes Received:
    469
    Trophy Points:
    103
    My (biological) father has type 2 diabetes. I'm adopted and had a closed adoption, meaning I had no info on things like family medical history. It was nice finally learning my father's medical history in my 40s, so my type 2 diagnosis this past July wasn't a big shock, as genetics play a role.

    I also spat into a tube and had my genes analyzed at 23andMe a few years ago. It indicated that with my genes I had a higher-than-average risk of developing diabetes, so there's that too.
     
  3. luceeloo

    luceeloo Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    615
    Likes Received:
    720
    Trophy Points:
    133
    This rings so true with me. I was recently at an appointment with the community diabetic team - consisting of a DSN and a Dietician. I wanted to talk to them about going back on to a medication that had been working for me, great blood sugars and some weight loss... they'd taken me off it to put me on to fast-acting insulin. I'd tried to the insulin and put on 14lbs, whilst eating still moderately low carb and very healthy. The DSN told me that I have to stay on the insulin and told me that "if you do put on weight then we can do something about it". When I asked what, she said "you can eat less and exercise more". For the first time ever, I nearly cried at the appointment. I told them both that I've been careful, that I watch what I eat, and I'm very active. The subject was then glossed over, because they clearly didn't want to believe me!
    I think they have this idea in their head of what us T2's do in our spare time - they genuinely think that we sit on a coach in our tracksuits, eating chocolate and bags of chips. The blame game stems entirely from the misguided belief by the medical professionals that diabetes is self-induced.
     
    • Hug Hug x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. DaveXF

    DaveXF · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    49
    Trophy Points:
    58
    That is oh so true.
    I am, however, totally blaming myself for the latest apparent symptom of my DB ( pricking sensations etc).
    OK! you could say that one was simply unlucky but you do create your own luck...to a degree.
     
  5. rosco 2

    rosco 2 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    279
    Likes Received:
    181
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Of course we can point the finger at the food industry. Equally we must take responsibility for the stuff we choose to eat. If you are poor then choices become limited I know. Education, media, literacy all help us to make choices - big pharma is as destructive as big food.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  6. Northern Girl2

    Northern Girl2 Type 2 · Member

    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    33
    Trophy Points:
    33


    Thankyou for this post. I was blaming myself and feeling guilty at my Diagnosis of Type 2 a few days ago thinking it was my fault due to being overweight. I agree whole heartedly with what you say and has made coping with and facing this so much easier.
     
    • Hug Hug x 4
  7. PatsyB

    PatsyB Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,660
    Likes Received:
    12,727
    Trophy Points:
    198
    I had my overall reading today and it still at 60 even though I watch what i eat ...yes am on insulin and i blame that realy cos have to eat with it. as for change lifestyle i am told to not loose weight as would be under the normal so how can one change their lifestyle when not carrying excess weight?? and actually it is in the family so I guess hereditory
     
  8. Northern Girl2

    Northern Girl2 Type 2 · Member

    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    33
    Trophy Points:
    33
    [QUOTE="I just wanted to say that there's a "Ted talk" on youtube about diabetes and she said that you're not diabetic because you're fat. In fact it's the other way round. You're fat because you're diabetic.[/QUOTE]

    Not heard this until I came here. I'm certainly going to look into this more.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Hug Hug x 1
  9. Alison Campbell

    Alison Campbell Prediabetes · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,445
    Likes Received:
    788
    Trophy Points:
    173
  10. Simha

    Simha Type 2 · Active Member

    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    58
    Trophy Points:
    38
    I was under normal when starting on insuline. Now I'm fat. Eat less, cut out unhealthy stuff, exercise more...
     
  11. Ponchu

    Ponchu · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    292
    Likes Received:
    174
    Trophy Points:
    43
    If I cannot be personally responsible, I’m without hope.

    I trusted without question.

    That’s on me.

    I’m empowered by putting both hands on the wheel.
     
  12. Spirit01

    Spirit01 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    56
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Just found this wonderful thread. I am obese at just over 20 stones but that's down from 24 stone. I'm 63 this year & was 61 when diagnosed. I knew very little about diabetes & my initial thoughts were "oh well, just like having a cold I suppose". Anyway, I received the obligatory magazine which scared the cr*p out of me so I binned it. My Dr put me on 1 Metformin a day but DN wanted me on 2 but I stuck with the Dr. I was offered to attend a class about my condition but didn't take that up. Recently I was in a building where they held such a class & was not impressed when the lecturer turned up in a car, opened her door & flicked her fag out onto the ground, what a joke. I'm attending my checks like a good boy & have put myself on a lchf way of eating. I dare say some reading this will not agree but it's my baby & I'll look after it. Yes of course I understand it's chronic (apparently) but then so is a fast moving vehicle if you don't keep your wits about you. I recently had a good conversation with a friend of mine who's best buddy has just been diagnosed with type 2. He takes lots of exercise, has an allotment so grows healthy veg, & hasn't an ounce of fat on him. Diabetes has been put into a neat little FAT BOX over the years, it's time that a lot more study outside of the box was carried out.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Useful Useful x 1
  13. Muddikins

    Muddikins Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    127
    Trophy Points:
    63
    I was guilty of blaming myself but now I am starting to get angry about it. I was told to eat the Eatwell plate, except it's death on a stick for me and that isn't my fault.
    I was briefly ashamed of my diagnosis but now I tell everybody because the general level of understanding is pitiful, and that's just the NHS (and i'm a nurse, albeit psychiatric nurse).
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Hug Hug x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  14. Rosie B

    Rosie B Type 2 · Member

    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    33
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Oh Yes, I'm newly diagnosed and already have been giving the Eatwell information. Except I'm not going there. PS I was a psychiatric nurse also. But back surgery has put paid to that. Good wishes to you.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  15. Debandez

    Debandez Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,692
    Likes Received:
    8,714
    Trophy Points:
    178
    Ignorant of the facts. The true facts. Not the lies they are being told about it being our bad choices. When sugar is injected into practically everything we eat (and there are over 50 different names to hide sugar) is it any wonder we have an epidemic in obesity and diabetes. I don't class it as our fault. I felt ashamed on diagnosis and couldn't admit it for weeks. I just kept saying I had hugh blood sugars. Now I'm shouting it from the rafters!!! IM TYPE 2 DIABETIC. DONT LISTEN TO THE HCP ADVICE. LOOK TO MAKING YOURSELF WELL BY EATING LCHF. More people are listening now. Our voices are getting louder. So loud soon that all the guidelines will have to be changed. Watch this space. It will happen.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  16. VMK

    VMK · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    38
    I’m newly diagnosed type 2. Aged 62 and at 5ft 7 and 9.5 stone for most of my adult life I can’t see where to go diet-wise. Just goes to show how wrong it is to blame everything on being overweight.......
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Adm_Mad

    Adm_Mad Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    112
    Likes Received:
    175
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Eh, I blame myself a bit. I know my BMI of 27 isn't great, and I could eat less, especially sweet stuff, and exercise more. My relationship to my body has been pretty effed up all my life, I was bulimic/anorexic as a teen and in my early 20s, with a BMI ranging from underweight to normal (not all people with eating disorders are skinny, this is news to some people!) and it's steadily crept up between then and where I am now at 35.

    I've been having a hearty LOL this week after my diagnosis reading all the research and opinions, and seeing how many boxes I tick for "person likely to get diabetes", from weight to personal life (people who live alone are more susceptible, and for women apparently birth control can screw up your insulin.... hmmm, do I want to stress more about my blood sugar or stress more about getting knocked up which is my nightmare come to life - but don't get stressed because that raises blood sugar! LOL)

    So yeah I know I haven't helped myself, and I'm working on not falling into self-harmful behaviours out of shame and guilt, because it looks like once you're diabetic type 2 that genie ain't going back in the bottle. From what I've read it looks like you can do everything you can to stave off the inevitable, eat right, exercise, monitor your levels, and some people manage to go into "remission" for years and years, but you can't totally control the progression of this disease. You could do everything right, but that doesn't mean one day you won't need medication and insulin, and maybe have to deal with all the worst complications. I guess we'll know more about this in 10-20 years or so, when there are more old type 2 diabetics to study!

    I hadn't realised that there is SOMETIMES a genetic predisposal to weight gain and type 2, that is then exacerbated if you make shirty lifestyle choices, I'd thought it was all lifestyle. I'm adopted and have literally zero information about my family health history.
     
  18. VMK

    VMK · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    38
    I'm at that stage where I'm Googling everything and I found this in an online article

    It seems I'm "skinny fat" !

    We can't win really can we?

    The problem with skinny fat
    Also known as “dad bod” or “mom bod,” “skinny fat” refers to a slender body type with small amounts of visible fat. Skinny fat people tend to have a type of fat called visceral fat. Visceral fat grows around your organs instead of under your skin, so it isn’t visible.

    If you have visceral fat, you may not look overweight, but you may still have as much fat as someone who is overweight.

    “The medical term for skinny fat is MONW, which stands for metabolically obese, normal weight,” said Duchnik. “People who are MONW may look healthy but are at risk for conditions like diabetes.”
     
  19. snowwy

    snowwy Type 2 · Active Member

    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    17
    Trophy Points:
    43
    you could also say that you gained weight and feel unable to reduce the amount of food ad sweets you eat because of your biology. be as hard as you want on yourself but it will never add up if you repeat the old doctor's mantra that it is your own fault. people also over estimate as to how much exercise helps with weight loss. yes, you can go to the gym for hours every time you eat something and it will not make a huge difference on how much weight you lose but might make you feel better because you gain muscle. bmi does not say anything about how much muscle you got. at 35 you are too young to have gotten diabetes T2 just because you ate stuff especially that you are not one of the 600lbs people, who eat literally all of the time. i knew my parents but i knew very little about my family history, when i had a gene test with one of those fun kits i found out that i am predisposed to have higher weight, T2 diabetes and that i am more prone to develop coeliac disease.

    i was intensely struggling with my weight and i asked for help, yet the only solution is gastric interference. well, that anorexia prescribed by a doctor and more often than not leads to nutritional deficiency if it helps at all. then something changed in my body and i lost the need to over eat. i lost a substantial chunk of weight and i am now on pretty good meds to help to continue to lose weight and help with the excess amount of blood sugar

    so in conclusion, every time you blame yourself you are playing into the hands of the established medical lot who have not yet researched this subject enough to actually know what is going on but invent fancy names as to why its our fault.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  20. snowwy

    snowwy Type 2 · Active Member

    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    17
    Trophy Points:
    43

    try low carb?
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  • Meet the Community

    Find support, connect with others, ask questions and share your experiences with people with diabetes, their carers and family.

    Did you know: 7 out of 10 people improve their understanding of diabetes within 6 months of being a Diabetes Forum member. Get the Diabetes Forum App and stay connected on iOS and Android

    Grab the app!
  • Tweet with us

  • Like us on Facebook