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my brother - so sad

I plan to keep trying, very gently, with him.

and keep spreading the word to as wide an audience as i can.

but today, I am sad.
 
lucylocket61 said:
As many of you know, my brother has been type 2 for some time. He got his latest results yesterday, and has a HbA1c of 83.

The print out shows that he has actually been having diabetic levels of over 50 for at least 12 years, although he was only diagnosed 7 years ago.

He wont do anything or listen to anyone. He listens to the diabetic nurse, and 'keeps his carb levels up to good levels' and 'has cabs with every meal'

They are sending him on a DESMOND course !!! and say he needs to go on insulin. His eyes are getting problems and he is worried about driving if he goes on insulin. I gently pointed out that if his levels remain high his eyesight may stop him driving anyway.

Please dont post answers on what he is doing wrong, or what I am doing wrong in not stopping him. I have tried and tried over the years, he wont listen to anyone except his GP.

He is on statins, and blood pressure meds, and all the rest of it. I just wanted to share this with people who understand how sad and frustrating it is for relative of those with worsening blood sugar levels, but who cant release themselves from the NHS mantra.

I dont really blame him so much as the NHS. He is only 53 years old. He lives far away, I rarely see him in the flesh, we speak online mainly and if I push him he withdraws for months. its just a mess.
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Sorry to hear that @lucylocket61
Not all DESMOND courses are the same and some are more enlightened, but anyway the dietary advice is not going to be worse than his current diet sounds. I would suggest he goes on the course, meeting fellow sufferers and hearing the information from "official" sources might encourage or frighten him in to making some improvements.
 
I know it’s been suggested but do you know if there’s a small part or the teeniest tiniest part of him that wants to join this forum? I mean we don’t bite.
 
lucylocket61 said:
he doesnt think there is any problem or that his choice is irrational. The GP and diabetic nurse tell him what to do, he does it, they are the experts : (

Just like the majority of type 2's I meet. I met another one today, an older woman talking to her friend in a cafe, eating cake and saying its OK as her metformin eats the sugar!!! And no, I was not prepared to go up to a complete stranger in public and talk about it to her, but it shows how widespread the bad info is.
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Really sorry to hear the news about your brother. All you can do is set an example. I face a similar situation with my dad (faith in doctor) and although my father in law has reversed his disease he did not do it soon enough to prevent severe neuropathy.

I think that it is tragic but for many people being overweight and taking lots of pills seems to be the new normal. If diabetes were an acute illness that killed you in weeks or years rather than decades, there would be much less acceptance of this.
 
lucylocket61 said:
And no, I was not prepared to go up to a complete stranger in public and talk about it to her, but it shows how widespread the bad info is.
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I know what you mean there as it is the same for me and some work colleagues i.e. people I don’t know very well at all and are fixed in their thinking on their own or a relatives diabetes. It’s difficult to break through what they have or even haven’t been told by their GP etc.
 
Look, you can't really blame people for listening to their doctors. The issue is that the doctors' advice is behind the times. If I had some random disease and was given the choice of obeying my doctor or following the advice from strangers on a chat board, I'd probably obey my doctor too. They are supposed to have scientific studies and years of experience to lead the way.

But it's possible that @lucylocket61 's brother will be more receptive to change when he moves to insulin, so maybe that will be a good thing? (OK, that may be taking the Pollyanna look on the bright side a bit far but it's not out of the question.)

I have a sister in law who was recently diagnosed with T2 and isn't currently interested in advice, so she's probably on the long term meds path too (sigh). On the plus side, I have a good friend who recently became prediabetic and turned it completely around by cutting the orange juice, potatoes, bread, pasta and rice, so it's always worth telling people.

And never give up, because unlike those of us with defunct pancreases, it seems that even long term T2s can improve their situation by cutting carbs.:)
 
EllieM said:
Look, you can't really blame people for listening to their doctors. The issue is that the doctors' advice is behind the times. If I had some random disease and was given the choice of obeying my doctor or following the advice from strangers on a chat board, I'd probably obey my doctor too. They are supposed to have scientific studies and years of experience to lead the way.
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I feel that this is pretty much the source of the despair? I don't think anyone is necessarily criticising the brother.
 
lucylocket61 said:
As many of you know, my brother has been type 2 for some time. He got his latest results yesterday, and has a HbA1c of 83.

The print out shows that he has actually been having diabetic levels of over 50 for at least 12 years, although he was only diagnosed 7 years ago.

He wont do anything or listen to anyone. He listens to the diabetic nurse, and 'keeps his carb levels up to good levels' and 'has cabs with every meal'

They are sending him on a DESMOND course !!! and say he needs to go on insulin. His eyes are getting problems and he is worried about driving if he goes on insulin. I gently pointed out that if his levels remain high his eyesight may stop him driving anyway.

Please dont post answers on what he is doing wrong, or what I am doing wrong in not stopping him. I have tried and tried over the years, he wont listen to anyone except his GP.

He is on statins, and blood pressure meds, and all the rest of it. I just wanted to share this with people who understand how sad and frustrating it is for relative of those with worsening blood sugar levels, but who cant release themselves from the NHS mantra.

I dont really blame him so much as the NHS. He is only 53 years old. He lives far away, I rarely see him in the flesh, we speak online mainly and if I push him he withdraws for months. its just a mess.
Click to expand...
How frustrating for you when you know that low carb works. I too feel your pain. My uncle is in a similar situation although much older.
 
Yeah, it's a terrible situation. I do sympathise. My uncle is exactly the same with his T2.... whatever the diabetes association of Australia says is what he follows and does. There's no telling him. He's in his early 70's now, has had mutliple strokes, can't travel anymore, can't walk etc. His health has been poor for decades and just getting worse. Just a long term poor quality of life experience for him. It shouldn't be this way, but what can you do when those that could be living much more different lives won't listen?
 
Tophat1900 said:
Yeah, it's a terrible situation. I do sympathise. My uncle is exactly the same with his T2.... whatever the diabetes association of Australia says is what he follows and does. There's no telling him. He's in his early 70's now, has had mutliple strokes, can't travel anymore, can't walk etc. His health has been poor for decades and just getting worse. Just a long term poor quality of life experience for him. It shouldn't be this way, but what can you do when those that could be living much more different lives won't listen?
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Sadly, it's an all too common story. You can lead a horse to water...
 
Jim Lahey said:
Sadly, it's an all too common story. You can lead a horse to water...
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but a pencil must be lead!
@lucylocket61 my mother was T2 diabetic and ended up on insulin with eye problems etc because she listened to the experts and religiously followed their advice. Luckily for me when I was diagnosed a couple of years after she passed away I was researching and came across this forum otherwise I too would probably be following the dietary advice given by the NHS and slowly but surely progressing towards insulin.
 
lucylocket61 said:
As many of you know, my brother has been type 2 for some time. He got his latest results yesterday, and has a HbA1c of 83.

The print out shows that he has actually been having diabetic levels of over 50 for at least 12 years, although he was only diagnosed 7 years ago.

He wont do anything or listen to anyone. He listens to the diabetic nurse, and 'keeps his carb levels up to good levels' and 'has cabs with every meal'

They are sending him on a DESMOND course !!! and say he needs to go on insulin. His eyes are getting problems and he is worried about driving if he goes on insulin. I gently pointed out that if his levels remain high his eyesight may stop him driving anyway.

Please dont post answers on what he is doing wrong, or what I am doing wrong in not stopping him. I have tried and tried over the years, he wont listen to anyone except his GP.

He is on statins, and blood pressure meds, and all the rest of it. I just wanted to share this with people who understand how sad and frustrating it is for relative of those with worsening blood sugar levels, but who cant release themselves from the NHS mantra.

I dont really blame him so much as the NHS. He is only 53 years old. He lives far away, I rarely see him in the flesh, we speak online mainly and if I push him he withdraws for months. its just a mess.
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear this. So frustrating for you. You said your brother lives far away and you communicate online. Could you visit him and he can see how well you are doing? If you spent time together he could see how delicious the food on LCHF can he. Just a thought. Or FaceTime so he can see you? Good luck. I hope your brother sees the light soon.
 
In any event I’d send him a copy of the Diabetes Code. He may just read it.
 
Maybe a bit of reverse psychology might help - do you talk on the phone?
Be full of where you have been and what you have been doing, and just throw in a casual mention of having had to run and get some salad stuff or anything low carb as you want to keep to your diet above everything else - and then ask how he is.
 
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