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my brother - so sad

Discussion in 'Type 2 Diabetes' started by lucylocket61, Sep 19, 2019.

  1. lucylocket61

    lucylocket61 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    As many of you know, my brother has been type 2 for some time. He got his latest results yesterday, and has a HbA1c of 83.

    The print out shows that he has actually been having diabetic levels of over 50 for at least 12 years, although he was only diagnosed 7 years ago.

    He wont do anything or listen to anyone. He listens to the diabetic nurse, and 'keeps his carb levels up to good levels' and 'has cabs with every meal'

    They are sending him on a DESMOND course !!! and say he needs to go on insulin. His eyes are getting problems and he is worried about driving if he goes on insulin. I gently pointed out that if his levels remain high his eyesight may stop him driving anyway.

    Please dont post answers on what he is doing wrong, or what I am doing wrong in not stopping him. I have tried and tried over the years, he wont listen to anyone except his GP.

    He is on statins, and blood pressure meds, and all the rest of it. I just wanted to share this with people who understand how sad and frustrating it is for relative of those with worsening blood sugar levels, but who cant release themselves from the NHS mantra.

    I dont really blame him so much as the NHS. He is only 53 years old. He lives far away, I rarely see him in the flesh, we speak online mainly and if I push him he withdraws for months. its just a mess.
     
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  2. wiflib

    wiflib Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    A big mess, horrid isn’t it Lucy. I’m so sorry.
     
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  3. ert

    ert Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I feel your pain. You really care. It says a lot about you.
     
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  4. Hotpepper20000

    Hotpepper20000 · Well-Known Member

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    How frustrating!!! It so hard to watch when you know what could help him.
    I have a close dear friend with type 2 and have been watching him get worse.And as long as the doctor tells him everything is ok and his A1C is “normal” he continues to eat icecream and pancakes.
    He didn’t even ask what his numbers are.

    I understand how you feel.
     
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  5. Goonergal

    Goonergal Type 2 · Moderator
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  6. zand

    zand Type 2 · Expert

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    I agree ...the NHS has failed him and many others too. So sad. I feel for you, I really do. X
     
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  7. Rachox

    Rachox Type 2 (in remission!) · Moderator
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    What a sad tale, so sorry Lucy x
     
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  8. MeiChanski

    MeiChanski Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Sending you a huge hug! I’m so sorry that you have to witness it :( his high blood sugars is not helping his mood or helping him make a rational choice. I hope not all hope is lost, do you know if he gets therapy? Or will consider it?
     
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  9. Antje77

    Antje77 LADA · Moderator
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    I'm so sorry, that's a hard bit of frustration for you to swallow.
     
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  10. shelley262

    shelley262 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I so feel for you. Knowing that you can help a family member but them not listening only, quite understandably, following the official advice must be heart wrenching. Take care x
     
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  11. Jim Lahey

    Jim Lahey I reversed my Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Very sad indeed. It drives me round the bend that patients are still being given this treatment by a system that is supposed to be there to help them.
     
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  12. lucylocket61

    lucylocket61 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    he doesnt think there is any problem or that his choice is irrational. The GP and diabetic nurse tell him what to do, he does it, they are the experts : (

    Just like the majority of type 2's I meet. I met another one today, an older woman talking to her friend in a cafe, eating cake and saying its OK as her metformin eats the sugar!!! And no, I was not prepared to go up to a complete stranger in public and talk about it to her, but it shows how widespread the bad info is.
     
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  13. Brunneria

    Brunneria Other · Moderator
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    Soul destroying, isn’t it?
    I sympathise, deeply, though my experience has not been as severe a situation as yours.
     
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  14. mojo37

    mojo37 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Is there any chance that he would look at this forum if you sent him the link
     
  15. lucylocket61

    lucylocket61 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    When I do talk about my diabetes, even to my brother, it goes in two stages:

    stage 1: WOW, you have kept your levels stable and non diabetic for over 7 years with no meds!!! How do you do that?

    I tell them, and point them here

    Stage 2: I am not giving up or cutting down on (insert food or drink here)

    no joined up thinking : (

    I would have more success if i was a religious evangelical waving a bible!
     
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  16. lucylocket61

    lucylocket61 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    tried many times over the past 7 years, its funny, we were diagnosed with 6 months of each other.
     
  17. Hotpepper20000

    Hotpepper20000 · Well-Known Member

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    I didn’t say much anymore. I find that most people just have glazed over eyes if I explain.
    I don’t say anything unless I’m asked
     
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  18. Diakat

    Diakat Type 1 · Moderator
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    So sad @lucylocket61
    Funnily enough, the other day in conversation I mentioned cream being lower in carbs than milk and the lady I was talking to for super excited because her husband has T2 - I told her about the site because she did not know about it but she had worked out that carbs affected his levels. So not everyone just listens to the “experts” as we know. But sad when experts hand out bad advice.
     
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  19. HSSS

    HSSS Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I’m sorry Lucy. It’s hard watching someone you love behaving destructively and feeling helpless to stop them.

    The terrible level of information provided by hcp is why I’m trying to join my ppg, but it’s been postponed 3 times now! Also waiting to be approved as a phc ambassador and see what I can do via them. If I can persuade one hcp to include and encourage lchf information and support that currently poopoo it I figure a decent number of people will then know about and be able to choose an option beyond gradual decline. Wishful thinking maybe but I’ll try
     
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  20. MeiChanski

    MeiChanski Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I’m very sorry, I hope we together as group can raise more awareness. I know some are us here have been advocating for better dietary advice. I know change takes time but at the same time some of the advice used and given today is killing us slowly. (My bf’s dad’s doctor in their area is teaching everyone to go low carb) It’s unfortunate that some patients will take their doctor’s advice. My dad isn’t a diabetic but he has cholesterol problems and he only listens to his doctor as well. So I understand the level of frustration you are going through.
     
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