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not sure whether I should be offended or not

Discussion in 'Ask A Question' started by dizzyrj, May 12, 2013.

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  1. islelassie

    islelassie Type 2 · Active Member

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    No I don't think you should be offended. How much would one person know about all the myriads of conditions that affect others? My only criticism would be to have not either provided an alternative for you, but if she brought the sweets in spontaneously, then she probably didn't have the time to consider.
     
  2. mrndnn

    mrndnn Type 2 · Member

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    My mother - a long retired SRN/dep Matron - used to do that, and it used to annoy me, but I knew she meant well. Diabetes was treated differently back when. But in having her here to stay, she saw that I do have things like cake, sweets etc sometimes, and sort myself out arounbd it the rest of the time. I made a point of saying that I allow myself, and then work it out the rest of the time, and it seems to have sunk in. Maybe that would help with the lecturer - take something in to share, including her, and say something like you are able to treat yourself now and again, just have to be sensible about how much and what else you have that day/week etc. If she acted out of ignorance, it allows her to learn positive thing about living with diabetes. Let's be honest, most of us have taken time to learn with the ******, so why should others automatically know :)
     
  3. Juli

    Juli · Member

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    Um, yes, you should be offended, that was completely unprofessional and unnecessary what that women said. You should definitely let your feelings be known to her, for eg, you could say to her "You wonldn't have said that to a fat person in our class so why say it to me. My health is none of your business.". I have just had something similar happen to me at a boot camp where the woman keeps making comments about my diabetes in an oblique way so am just about to email her to say I won't be coming back and how unprofessional she is.
    These comments really annoy me as you can see! Anyway, good luck!!http://www.diabetes.co.uk/diabetes-forum/posting.php?mode=reply&f=15&t=41016#
     
  4. Juli

    Juli · Member

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    just tried to put a smiley face in and got that www thing, whatever!!
     
  5. mo1905

    mo1905 Type 1 · BANNED

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    Has anybody not read any previous comments ? She DID speak to her tutor, her tutor apologized. It's all been sorted amicably ! Resolved !


    Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
     
  6. markfpurdue

    markfpurdue · Member

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    You have the choice to eat or not but it should also be said that you, and only you, can choose to be offended or not. You were obviously not quick enough to say that it is your choice and not theirs.
    Taking offence is totally your choice but for me I would probably have thought it was a shame that their ignorance was highlighted in such a way. Rather than complain why not write to the individual in question explaining how that made you feel.
     
  7. Wocko

    Wocko · Member

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    I've come across this myself and have put it down to a limited understanding. It is the abruptness of how it is said that can cause offense I believe as there are ways around making you feel that way. My uni lecturer was also a diabetic and during our tutorials he made us all a cup of tea/coffee and opened a biscuit tub. On realising that I was also diabetic he got extra Nairns oat biscuits which are low sugar and low GI too. All he did was ask and I believe this is how it should have been handled for you by seeking an alternative snack. I sense that with his diabetes he had also experienced similar incidents to you however so knew how to handle things due to awareness.
     
  8. martwolves

    martwolves Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    For closure mountain>mole-hill, storm>teacup. [End]. Anyone new thinks this is oblique, please read original and subsequent posts, please, before making this a perpetual thread of NOTHING. Love, hugs and general amibialty.

    Mart. :)
     
  9. mrawfell

    mrawfell · Well-Known Member

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    Firstly I understand your problem. People usually speak from ignorance, not with malice. I have had it previously, and a quiet word usually resolves the problem. They actually believe they are being helpful, simply because they don't know the rules.
     
  10. pscarborough

    pscarborough · Member

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    I have been this area before she should brought in some other food stuffs as other students may not want sweet items. My last incident of this was on the river trip where we had stopped for a break I the river guide told me "do you need any snacks now" just to me. I had a load of stuff in my pocket. For information Star-burst dissolve in water I just had packet in bag.
    it would been better for the offer was to all. my reply was no I do not need any snack now but will have one with the group.
    I coach groups and for prizes I took sweets I now take fruit not a lot of them like to take fruit so I get to eat them the sweets take ages to eat. I was told that because they are not wrapped the water can get on to the fruit and contaminate them, even though there hands have been in the water for hours.
     
  11. beeman

    beeman Type 2 · Newbie

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    I've been T2 for 8 years now, & meet this sort of thing all the time. There is no point in being offended - you must simply grow a thicker skin.

    It is well worth having a few words and explaining the situation. It makes sure that she won't be so thoughtless in future.

    I've just had half of a Bounty Bar! Yum yum! But I've been digging and weeding all day.
     
  12. martwolves

    martwolves Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hooflippinrah!!! A succint statement. What is this forum coming to. "I'm not sure if I'm offended"! You probably ain't then. I know when I'm offended. A colleague asked me to cover for him on father's day as my kids probably ain't mine. He's never met my wife or kids and I called him a c***. I'm not proud, but I KNOW when I AM offended. I'll not speak to that slug ever again. Some may say I'm childish, but I had the urge to knock him into the next millenia. Thankfully I am still employed and did not **** him one!

    I'll never forgive that. EVER.

    Lots of love, cuddles and spite.

    Mart x

    That is offensive and I knew it right there.
     
  13. LittleWolf

    LittleWolf · Well-Known Member

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    Well said, Marty

    Though there may be a difference between what offends an individual and what is generally considered offensive.

    Some black people might consider it acceptable or not be bothered by being called the N word but some could regard that person as just as bad for NOT being offended. Like there are some scenarios where certain things should just not be said ever.

    But of course this topic is redundant unless any of us were actually there and know the OP and her lecturer personally or heard the way the OP was spoken to firsthand.


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  14. martwolves

    martwolves Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    And therein lies the question
     
  15. anna29

    anna29 Type 2 · Well-Known Member
    Retired Moderator

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    Hi All .

    Given the OP has resolved this topic/matter some time ago .

    Will close this thread as per members comments to do so .

    Thanks Anna .
     
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