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Problem with friend over my diabetes

Discussion in 'Alternative Treatments' started by titchy_lou, Mar 25, 2013.

  1. Lovelylivpet

    Lovelylivpet Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Your friend dosn't understand, but she does'nt have to because she isn't diabetic.

    I think you were very mature about it, and took the right approach. It wouldn't hurt to have a little chocolate, but it really depends on your diabetes reaction. It may be hugly affective and put your BG levels hight for days. Although, some people can get it down. I think you made the right choice. Don't worry your friend will come around :)
     
  2. titchy_lou

    titchy_lou · Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for all your input, everyone. I'm still thinking about this a lot, especially as today was my cousins weddings :)

    I'm starting to think my friend has taken the 'oh that'll never happen to you' attitude, when I've explained what happened to my grandad. However, my friend struggles with a thyroid problem, and I really do feel like turning this around a bit..what if I said to her to stop taking her tablets for a day, and that she'd be ok? I think she might react hot I've reacted...

    Wish I could just get this sorted now, I absolutely hate having people annoyed with me


    Diabetes type 1.5
    Diagnosed September 2011
    Currently on basal insulin
     
  3. eveshamgal

    eveshamgal · Well-Known Member

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    Eurgh!!!! I already explained this. The post I quoted suggested that the bride could consider changing her plans. I never said that's what the OP said.

    And isn't your wedding supposed to be about you celebrating the happiest time of your life? I'd say it's always been the case that brides are selfish in regards to their weddings. Long may it continue!!

    Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
     
  4. MCMLXXIII

    MCMLXXIII Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I've read this thread with interest.
    I'm type 2 so realise you're position is somewhat more precarious here.
    But, if it was me I would attend whatever she decided and refrain from any potentially dangerous consumption and use the art of conversation to my advantage.
    I hope you find an amicable solution, its a shame for anyone to fall out over this, whatever the outcome:)
     
  5. titchy_lou

    titchy_lou · Well-Known Member

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    The bride is indeed supposed to get everything she wants, it's supposedly more her wedding, than even the groom!

    When the bride gets a little too into this theory, I call it 'bridezilla' :p



    Diabetes type 1.5
    Diagnosed September 2011
    Currently on basal insulin
     
  6. titchy_lou

    titchy_lou · Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for finally addressing this part! As you know, I've only been diagnosed for 18 months, I've had basal insulin a month, and bolus, only a week, I hope I can be excused for being anxious so little on! I've asked my dsn about correction doses, but she said one step at a time.


    Diabetes type 1.5
    Diagnosed September 2011
    Currently on basal insulin
     
  7. titchy_lou

    titchy_lou · Well-Known Member

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    I'm afraid I don't have that art of conversation. Also, I imagine they're going to want to discuss what the chocolate is like, not what's going in next weekend etc :s


    Diabetes type 1.5
    Diagnosed September 2011
    Currently on basal insulin
     
  8. GraceK

    GraceK · Well-Known Member

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    Titchy Lou ... believe me ... having people annoyed with you is far better than having so called 'friends' walk all over you because after a while YOU'LL become very annoyed with YOU for allowing that to happen. Just trust that YOU are entitled to make your own decisions and you don't have to compromise on things you don't feel you should compromise on. A true friend will always understand and welcome that. Some people are way too accommodating and willing to please others and they don't attract real friends, they attract control freaks. They don't realise this until the day comes when they don't do as they're expected. Then they see the 'friend's' true colours. Practice being unpopular and standing your ground for a while ... and see what happens. I think you'd like the results it brings.
     
  9. Riri

    Riri Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I'm with you titchy.

    Friends are meant to care and I if a friend of mine had suggested this I would have replied like you. You weren't being unreasonable and as you say it would only mean being away for a few hours. You don't all need to be joined at the hip throughout the weekend.

    Unfortunately people don't realise how difficult situations can be - some cope with situations like this and others don't cope so well and it only takes small things sometimes to tip the balance. It's usually the people we care and like the most that suffer the brunt.

    If you are ally good mates I would pick up the phone/text with a jokey chocolately based quip and finish by saying it would be really tough so would she really mind if you just opted out for a few hours as you really want to be there. A bit of compromise but not having to go to the chocolate thing. I, like you, would find it a total ngihtmare and it would upset me. Sorry if others don't agree.

    Good luck
     
  10. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    Good points Riri

    I have been thinking about this alot, what if it was me? and my friend J got married and had a hen weekend. If she choose a chocolate event or say decorating cakes or sampling different breads, not only would that be a bitof a nightmare, because of Diabetes and Coeliac disease, I'm sure I would be 'put out'.

    1) she would know I am diabetic
    2) she would know I have Coeliac disease
    3) Is she catering for herself? because, to be fair,she is the bride to be
    4) Is she caterting for the majority of ladies/family members attending?
    5) If she is, I am sure I would feel as though I was maybe pushed to oneside and not catered for like the others :?
    6) If I had a fear of heights and she wanted to go rock climbing, well...........
    7) If she paid for driving at Brands Htach, I don't drive
    8) Hot air balooning, height issues

    So I'm sure members can see where I'm coming from and where this is going.

    1000's of females apparently love choclate, chocoholics and the friend probably just thought that they would all love this. I like chocolate in very small quanitites, because even injecting insulin to cover it would make me 'spike'.

    Titchy, If your friend was a flower, would you pick her?

    Maybe when the dusts settles and things calm down, you could discuss the problem with a 3rd party there who would be impartial. Hopefully it will be sorted out once and for all.

    A quote "Those that matter won't mind and those that mind don't matter"

    Take care and I hope you enjoy the Easter weekend

    All the best RRB :)
     
  11. Panda

    Panda · Member

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    Both my daughter and I have Type 1 diabetes. Me for 46 years and my daughter for twenty years. My daughter got married two years ago and also for her Hen do we all went on a chocolate making course. We are still living to tell the tale and had a wonderful time without it affecting our blood sugar levels.!!!!!!!! :thumbup:
    It is not dangerous to eat chocolate when you have Type 1 diabetes providing you test your blood sugar and inject if needed.
    Maybe your friend knows this too ?!!!!!
     
  12. eveshamgal

    eveshamgal · Well-Known Member

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    You can't have away from normal activities your while life because of diabetes or any illness really.

    Do you (collective you not just the OP) not go to parties because they might serve cake? Do you not go to the pub because they sell alcohol? Do you not go out for meals because they might serve chips? Of course not and this is no different.

    I am going to a wedding reception tomorrow and as the bride and groom are a bit strapped for cash they have asked us to bring specific good items. I've been asked to bring fish sandwiches. Did I throw my dolly out if the pram because they have asked me to prepare a food item that I can't eat because I am low carbing due to my diabetes? Of course I haven't because I am a grown woman who appreciates the fact that she has been asked to be involved in her friends special day.

    I'm sorry if I'm not making any friends on this thread by going against the grain but a lot of people need to get over themselves. It's your life, your illness and your responsibility.

    We are having a roast dinner for my Dada birthday on Sunday but I haven't banned potatoes and stuffing and Yorkshire puddings because I can't eat them. I know that if I eat them I will suffer and so will simply leave them off my plate.

    Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
     
  13. DaveNN

    DaveNN · Well-Known Member

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    With friends like this.....

    If you had an issue with alcohol ( yes, I understand that it isn't the same) would she expect you to go a beer festival?

    Hope you can work it out....


    Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
     
  14. Riri

    Riri Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I think the analogy to Sunday lunch is not really fair. At home everyone can chose what they want to eat - no external pressure. This is a group environment where the whole purpose of the visit will be chocolate tasting. I go to pubs and eat out but if my best friend chose a full-on boozy weekend in Blackpool as a hen weekend that would be difficult as I would not want to go crazy with alcohol and with the best will in the world I would then feel left out. If those of us who have T1 diabetes can't understand how these situations can be difficult for some of us (not all granted) then we have little hope of expecting others to begin to understand how certain situations can affect us physically and mentally in a very big way. It's like everything in life though - people differ greatly and everyone's comfort zone is set to a different level.
     
  15. GraceK

    GraceK · Well-Known Member

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    I think the person throwing her dolly out of the pram is the bride in this case. The bridesmaid hasn't suggested cancelling the chocolate factory because of her diabetes, she's simple said that she'll be happy to go sightseeing for a while instead. The bride's response to that was to 'reconsider' having her friend as a bridesmaid after all which smacks of being a spoiled, manipulative, immature brat. God help her future hubby.
     
  16. eveshamgal

    eveshamgal · Well-Known Member

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    Yes I will give you the fact that the bride cutting the OP out of the wedding because of this is very childish. A friendship is surely worth more than a chocolate tasting day.

    Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
     
  17. izzzi

    izzzi Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Eveshamgal ,
    You probably have made more friends because of your honest opinion.
    May I suggest this song on the wedding Day:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-8rynzCbkc

    Roy. :)
     
  18. Yorksman

    Yorksman Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Of course it is. Weddings are for women. The men are just there to make up the numbers.
     
  19. mo1905

    mo1905 Type 1 · BANNED

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    Can't believe how much this has grabbed everyone's attention. You have a choice. You can go and try a little chocolate, I'm sure they won't force feed you. Alternatively, just don't go ! Bit harsh but it's her wedding. She is the centre of attention for the entire day and she also calls the shots ! It's naive of us to assume that any non-diabetic would understand the disease and it's complications. We only read up on it when we get it ! To be honest, I think there's maybe more to this than the chocolate tasting. Are you otherwise great friends ? I can't believe this is something to fall out over ! Shame if it is.
     
  20. DaveNN

    DaveNN · Well-Known Member

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    The irony of you commenting on how you cannot believe how this thread has grabbed everyone's attention is not lost on me......


    Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
     
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