@nessa1970 I can only repeat what others have said - you need to take your insulin. This isn't 'enjoying what beta cells you have left', this is destroying them, and a good few other types of cells as well. Diabetes is HARD, everyone here understands that, we really do. Struggles with mental health make it harder - I've been there, I've done that, I've got the t-shirt, and it has cost me dearly. Type 1 is a mean, greedy, horrible monster. It can be exhausting, but what you are doing is making it worse - by making yourself feel awful like this, you are making it more difficult to handle. The thing is, you might not always feel like this, and then you might regret the damage that you are doing now.
In an ideal world, you would be testing before meals, and two hours after, and before bed. You said you are struggling to test. The most important thing is to take your insulin - you might think you are fine, but you are not. Not having ketones does not mean that damage is not being done. Take your insulin. Set yourself a target of testing three times a day, before meals. I know this is a really heavy burden to carry, and often you just want to scream under the weight of it, but when your numbers are better, you start to feel better physically, and then it is slightly easier to manage it all.
You've mentioned before your partner and your grandchildren - so you have people who love you, and it will be really, really hurting them to watch you do this to yourself. So if the thought of doing it for future you isn't enough, do it for them. Take your insulin, please, and also call your DSN ASAP - she needs to be aware that you have got this abusive relationship with your insulin, and your counsellor as well. You have to let people help you.
And if it's the 'texture' of something fizzy you're wanting, how about sparkling water?
