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Stuck in a bad web

Discussion in 'Type 1 Diabetes' started by nessa1970, Apr 18, 2017.

  1. nessa1970

    nessa1970 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Thank you
    I will be contacting my dsn tomorrow
    I will try to build things up to bring healthier
    It takes a while for that to happen
    Iv never had sparkling water
    I do love water just crave fizzy when I'm high an I dislike diet stuff coke zero stuff it is horrible
    I will buy some sparkling water
    Thank you for sharing with me
    I'll do my best to get out of this rut I'm in to get better
     
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  2. fletchweb

    fletchweb Prefer not to say · Well-Known Member

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    Have you experienced any significant weight loss? That usually happens. I've been living with Type 1 for over 50 years - it's likely that most doctors and other type 1s would view my 51 years of living with type 1 as someone who doesn't practice good control, or not as good as most - but I'm complication free - and try to have as much fun as possible. - the only reason why I continue to look after myself is because I know there are family members that love me and it's hard to have fun or enjoy life when your BGs are high all time. - it's nice to occasionally over indulge in the pleasures of life. Those pleasures are hard to enjoy if your BGs are running higher than 15.

    I hope you're able to work things out. My advice - try to get back on track so you can over indulge in whatever your pleasures happen to be. It's what keeps me going and helps me stay grounded with a realistic perspective.
     
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  3. leslie10152

    leslie10152 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    One thing you will learn, the mistakes you make today, will be there to haunt you tomorrow.
     
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  4. LauraC27

    LauraC27 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    We all have bad days, but 5 litres of coke per day is scary! (i'm not judging you here at all by the way if anything i feel sad you are stuck in this rut.)
    I would be too scared to be drinking 5 litres of sugar a day without injecting for 3 weeks!
    It's probably hard to see this & understand this right now, but if you cut this huge sugar intake with no insulin present you will feel physically one million times better and will probably help you to see and think more clearly.

    Everyone has cravings but go for the diet coke/coke zero option, you will learn to love it that's your only choice! I totally get that it doesn't have the same taste! I have found Pepsi Max has the best taste .. and sugar free!

    Listen diabetes is s#*t ! but it really isn't THE WORST THING to have in terms of all the illnesses/diseases out there!! You still get to live your life... and a long life if you want! I mean yes you have to make sacrifices, and yes it's extremely tedious and tiring and the most frustrating thing ever at times, it can get you down and it can make you feel like you want to give up.. but you get out of diabetes what you put into it to put it frankly.

    I have bad days.. but then i think to myself, why am i treating myself like this?.. i have a son who is 4. I want to see him grow up, i owe him and my family that! I want to live a long/happy/healthy life.

    We all enjoy a sugary treat now and again, a pudding, a few squares of chocolate, a can of DIET coke! But as long as we manage it with insulin it really doesn't have to be that bad!

    Please don't take this the wrong way, I am trying to help you from feeling this low and ill.. i think your mental health on the diabetes issue is clearly a problem, which must be extremely difficult. Have you considered trying to have a counselling session or something like that? Talking to a professional about these struggles may be a big help! - from reading your post just now, i thought to myself sometimes i feel guilty/bad for having an off day - but to drink 5 liters of coca-cola per day and not inject i would be honestly too scared to do that, and you are not, which means your thought process on the way you are treating your body needs to be addressed.

    You are a beautiful young woman with your whole life ahead of you, don't waste it. You CAN sort this out and get back on track if you want to! There's still time! It's not easy.. i know, but you can get there Nessa! Let us know how you get on with your DN tomorrow.. and please find it within yourself to get back on track, get your body and mind feeling better.. and things will start to take shape again. We all have choices at the end of the day, finding the motivation is really hard at times. But its time you controlled your diabetes, not let it control you.

    Sending hugs & love!
     
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  5. nessa1970

    nessa1970 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi
    Yes that is my goal now
    Whow that's a long time to have diabetes
    Encouraging actually
    Thank you so much for sharing that an congratulations on being complications free
    I'd say you have done a lot right to have be like that
    Cheers
     
  6. nessa1970

    nessa1970 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I'm really appreciating the posts it's really giving me that nudge I needed
    If beautiful people from far away can care an share like this. I'm really very humbled and I want too try to start a fresh day tomorrow
    I do have therapy every week re my ptsd
    I never really thought the coke was that terrible when I wasn't taking insulin I do no it's bad tho definitely
    Just was trying to give the body some energy
    I will definitely update you all
    Thank you for your message
    X
     
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  7. bushbri

    bushbri Type 1 · Active Member

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    Hi

    I know how you feel although I can't relate to the action. I am now 51 and was diagnosed T1 last July after ongoing illness and a very difficult couple of years.

    I find it a pain in the arse generally and given a choice I wouldn't have it of course. I find injecting annoying as I used to finger pricking. I have been using the Libre monitor for 3 months now and this is better although I still prick occasionally.

    I do manage well I am told when I meet my team although I am not fully sure why. I am pretty healthy and balance anyway and fit so that likely helps. However most importantly this is my life now and being alive and as healthy as I can be is preferable to any alternative so I do what I do and will always do so like it or not.

    I don't know you and cannot think or feel as you do but you have to ensure you look after yourself and for me that echoes all of the advice above as you will be worse for not managing the condition adequately.

    I know people who have worse illnesses than I do too and endure more so that helps to balance me as well. I guess my view is you only have one you so make it the best it can be regardless of the circumstances and if you need help it is always out there somewhere and I don't mean just the medical teams.
     
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  8. Struma

    Struma Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I would like to suggest that you adopt much more consistency with your diabetes, instead of keep vacillating around with it.
    I am fearful @nessa1970 that ultimately, you may not be the one who suffers most.
    I truly wish I had an answer for you - plenty of other posters have.
     
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  9. Diakat

    Diakat Type 1 · Expert
    Retired Moderator

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    @nessa1970 darling I don't understand how you can feel ok at such high levels, I'm having a bad blood week even though I am injecting and correcting, my highest has been 26 compared to your 30s and I feel totally pants! I would hate to feel like this for weeks. Please start injecting again.
     
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  10. Ambersilva

    Ambersilva Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Nessa,

    Earlier in the thread you wrote, "My energy is quite low and my lower legs are very heavy. Try to get bit of energy so I can clean my home an cook..."

    It is the correct amount of injected insulin that gives you energy. Insulin is the key to open your cells to allow glucose in your blood to enter to provide the energy you need. If the insulin is not sufficient to cover your food and sugary drink intake it will remain in the blood and stick to the blood cells. Your lungs will be struggling to get rid of carbon dioxide so your legs will be heavy and you will feel exhausted by simple housework tasks.

    You are doing the right thing to contact your DSN tomorrow. She is professional and is there to help you get back on track.

    Best wishes on your journey to recovery,

    A. xx
     
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  11. Claire007

    Claire007 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Right Mrs!
    Time to get tough or you're going to end up in a coma.
    Take your background insulin. Just do it, think of all the parents on here who've got kids, with type 1, babies, toddlers, grumpy or self conscious teenagers, those kids can do it and so can you ok?

    My suggestion to you on your thread along the same lines last week was the 3 meals, remember?
    Pick 3 breakfasts, 3 lunches, and 3 dinners, carb count them precisely and stick to a rota of these meals?

    Well I'll start you off with a breakfast one. One slice of toast has (on average before anyone shouts at me :)) 20g of carb.
    A 200g bowl of Yeo valley full fat Greek yogurt with around 5 strawberries chopped up has 15g of carb. I live off this stuff ! It's delicious. So take your background and tomorrow eat breakfast and inject for it.

    What's your insulin to carb ratio? Do you know?
    How high is your BG right now? While you're giving yourself your background insulin, you may as well try and get your BG down while you're at it right???? Yes??? 10 seconds of your time. Quicker than getting yourself a glass of Coke. :banghead:

    Other than that my final piece of advice is phone the Samaritans. Tel: 116 123
     
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  12. catapillar

    catapillar Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    What I said was "if you need to do the bare minimum, do the bare minimum - but that does include actually taking your insulin".

    Not taking your insulin isn't doing the bare minimum. You're type 1 diabetic. Taking insulin is essential to your life and health.

    With blood sugar readings at HI, too high for the monitor to give you a reading, you have excessive thirst, excessive urination, exhaustion irritability, personality change and poor decision making, increased risks of blindness and amputation.,your body is open to all infections and viruses and your blood is far too thick and sticky so it can't get any of your healing white cells around to resolve any infections. These are things you are actively doing to yourself on purpose when you make the choice not to take your insulin and to consume excessive amounts of sugar at the same time. Can you imagine if it was one of your children doing this kind of significant self harm?

    It's not OK because you don't currently have ketones. That means you aren't going to die of dka in the next few hours. It doesn't mean ketones won't set in overnight and you won't wake up in the morning. Ketones happen when you have insufficient insulin, you have type 1 diabetes and haven't taken you insulin for weeks, the point when insufficient insulin can allow ketones to be made in sufficient numbers for dka is going to happen quickly and take an awful lot of treatment to recover from.

    Deciding not to take your insulin is stupid. If you think it's ok, you're kidding youself. You may well have psychological or mental health problems that are pushing you to make these self harm decisions, it doesn't change the fact that objectively it is a stupid decision. If you think it's mental health problems pushing you to self destruct in this way seek help rom your DSN who should be able to refer you to a psychologist.
     

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  13. Snapsy

    Snapsy Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    @nessa1970 I can empathise and sympathise in equal measure. I'm sending you strength and hugs.

    One step at a time.

    You are so strong, and you and your diabetes CAN live well together. But like a highly-strung mate who blows hot and cold, like a 1963 Morris Minor which drinks oil like it's going out of fashion, like a 'helpful' hubby who just CANNOT sensibly load the dishwasher (yup, all Snapsy experiences), your diabetes can and will - often, for such is life - be a right pain in the a*se.

    But not always. Lick it gently into shape with small steps. Testing. Insulin. Try carb counting. It will help. Make substitutions for your drinks. I love sugar-free ginger beer, and drink a lot of it! I love that stuff. Speak to your DSN often - daily, if necessary - and use the forum and your many supportive friends on here, who understand first hand the issues presented by diabetes.

    Take care. Small steps are a fabulous start. You need to take the step right now of taking your insulin. You're in danger.

    You can do this.

    I have my moments, really I do. For instance this week I have been absolutely devastated that a recent achievement in my non-diabetic life has not turned me into the person I had been visualising becoming, nor has it miraculously cured my diabetes (seriously, I had thought running a race last Sunday would have actually done that for me), and I have been very diab-angry as a result. Yup, that's actually a thing!

    But I can't be diab-angry and remain well. I need me to look out for me.
    And you need you.

    People here are listening. Please read what they say, and take some steps. Take your insulin.

    Love Snapsy
    :)
     
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  14. azure

    azure Type 1 · Expert

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    @nessa1970 When I was diagnosed with Type 1, my BS was 25. My doctor phoned an ambulance and I was admitted to hospital immediately. That's how urgently he treated a high BS. I tried to delay and said I didn't feel too bad but In actual fact I was very ill.

    And so are you...

    A blood sugar that reads HI will be causing damage to your body - even though you can't feel or see it. Around half the people registered blind have lost their sight because of diabetes; in the UK, more than 20 people a day have their leg amputated because of diabetes.

    It's more than possible that none of those people ever had DKA. But yet the diabetes still hurt them...

    You're playing with fire and thinking you won't get burnt, but what you don't seem to realise is the fire is sneaking up behind you. You can't ignore it.

    PLEASE take your insulin, speak to your DSN - and get the psychological support you need.

    Yes, Type 1 is c**p. Yes, it would be lovely not to have to think about carb counting and all those incredibly annoying things we have to do every day. But we're LUCKY. Before the discovery of insulin, Type 1 was a terminal illness. Now it's not. I remember that every time I get fed up with the daily grind.
     
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  15. zand

    zand Type 2 · Expert

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    Oh @nessa1970 I'm thinking of you, please take care of yourself, I'm scared for you. Hugs
    x
     
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  16. Horsham109

    Horsham109 Type 2 · Member

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    @nessa1970, please look after yourself, I'm worried for you and hope you have started taking your insulin again.

    Please post again to let us know that you are OK. xxx
     
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  17. TeamHard2017

    TeamHard2017 Type 1 · Member

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    U need to take your insulin hon I lost my sight from avoiding taking insulin u could lose your legs damage your kidneys liver .... or even die it sounds like your in withdrawl to me your body needs insulin to counteract These highs it's Not worth your eyes or your body parts!!! Please talk to someone about this u may need to get some counselling to come to terms with it!
    The finger pricks carb counting are there to help u no one is judging u and the sport drinks are full of sugar!!
     
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  18. mentat

    mentat Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Nessa.

    As someone who has gotten through addiction as well as diabetes burnout, try to believe me that your mind is playing tricks on you. Diabetes management takes maybe 15 minutes out of the average day. It's less work than owning a dog. Especially if you set your BG targets to something like 10.

    I understand exactly how overwhelming it feels. I've thrown hypo treatments at the walls because I couldn't force them down my throat. I've felt the needles and pricks hurt 10 times as much as they should. But my mind was playing tricks on me. It was (incorrectly) hoping that if I run away from diabetes, it won't be able to find me.

    It's a survival instinct. We try to run away from things that restrict our freedom. But it doesn't work with diabetes, because wherever we go, it goes.

    You aren't feeling comfortable because your sugar is high. You're feeling comfortable because you're rebelling against diabetes. Your mind wants you to rebel against diabetes. But it won't help.

    It's important to make a choice. One of your choices is to continue like this. You're free to choose it. Another choice is to improve your health. You're free to choose that. Making the choice means you own it. It's not imposed on you.

    If you choose to improve your health you can start slow—say by aiming for sugars 10-22 at first. That doesn't take much work at all. And we can help you with problems you have along the way.


    By the way, I love fizzy drinks and hate sweeteners. But I have discovered a few zero-sugar fizzy drinks I actually don't mind—usually lemon-flavoured. You can try adding diet cordial to sparkling water as well.

    YOU CAN DO THIS—but don't beat yourself up if you can't do it just yet.
     
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  19. Bogusman

    Bogusman Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like you are suffering from "Diabetes Burnout", i.e. you are not accepting it and can't be bothered doing all the things you have to that you must. Bottom line, and to cut a long story short, if you don't start taking your insulin and looking after yourself you will die. Sorry for being blunt but...
     
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  20. GrinderColumn

    GrinderColumn · Member

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    Don't give up just yet, talk to someone about your worries, It could make you feel better if you vent out your frustration with your health condition to someone that can understand and give you absolutely no judgment. A therapist maybe? you'll get better if you do everything you can to beat your condition.
     
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