Stuck in a bad web

[nessa1970]

So I stopped taking insulin for three weeks an started taking some again
Mostly basal 8 morn sometimes at night use to be 12 an 12
I may correct a HI once every second evening
I am very weak tired cold hands feet legs bit heavy dry mouth thirsty I must drink eight litres a day at lest five are coke an or juice
I'm bloated in tummy I think if I don't no water
Anyway I am finding I'm on a journey I don't know how to stop
My fizzy is like herion
But I'm high sugars without coke so I no juice an coke isn't helping
But of course the sandpaper mouth makes me drink it
My ketones are fine
So I'm not dieing or in danger
So any advice cool
Thanks

 

[MelissaC]

Hi @nessa1970

I know it's difficult trying to keep on top of diabetes but it is really important that you start injecting your insulin regularly. You may not have ketones at the moment, but you could get seriously ill. Have you spoken to your GP or diabetes consultant for support? That would be a good place to start.

Also, if you are fancying something fizzy, maybe just have a glass of diet coke to 'quench' your thirst for it

Good luck x

 

[Juicyj]

Hi @nessa1970 I know you're having your struggles with this but you really do have to take your insulin and test regularly, you know exactly what needs to be done but at the moment your body is suffering because of this. We can only support you in taking your insulin as this is what your body needs to feel better.

You have done so incredibly well at times with managing Nessa and I know you are more than capable of managing your type 1, so why are you not taking your insulin now ?

 

[DiabeticDadUK]

So I stopped taking insulin for three weeks an started taking some again
Mostly basal 8 morn sometimes at night use to be 12 an 12
I may correct a HI once every second evening
I am very weak tired cold hands feet legs bit heavy dry mouth thirsty I must drink eight litres a day at lest five are coke an or juice
I'm bloated in tummy I think if I don't no water
Anyway I am finding I'm on a journey I don't know how to stop
My fizzy is like herion
But I'm high sugars without coke so I no juice an coke isn't helping
But of course the sandpaper mouth makes me drink it
My ketones are fine
So I'm not dieing or in danger
So any advice cool
Thanks

Are you sure that you're type one? No insulin for 3 weeks would put me in the ground - well before that, in fact.

If you're drinking 8 litres a day and you've got a dry mouth then something isn't right.

I get the fizzy addiction totally! - Why not switch to diet coke or coke zero? I drink a lot of DC.

Can you post what your blood sugars are? Assuming your testing frequently.

 

[nessa1970]

Are you sure that you're type one? No insulin for 3 weeks would put me in the ground - well before that, in fact.

If you're drinking 8 litres a day and you've got a dry mouth then something isn't right.

I get the fizzy addiction totally! - Why not switch to diet coke or coke zero? I drink a lot of DC.

Can you post what your blood sugars are? Assuming your testing frequently.

On an off for a month there mostly just Hi
Occasional 30
Yes I'm definitely type one
Like I've said before I have some bets function still
Iv been type 1 for ten months

 

[nessa1970]

Hi @nessa1970 I know you're having your struggles with this but you really do have to take your insulin and test regularly, you know exactly what needs to be done but at the moment your body is suffering because of this. We can only support you in taking your insulin as this is what your body needs to feel better.

You have done so incredibly well at times with managing Nessa and I know you are more than capable of managing your type 1, so why are you not taking your insulin now ?

Simply because I'm sick of it
That's the truth
I don't want to do prick my fingers anymore - it hurts an it is not what I want to add to my every single day life
Count food
Be carb careful
Weigh stuff
Injections arnt the worst of it
So I don't mind injecting here in there
Like someone said to me ... do the minimal at least
So I'm doing that
So what drinks can I have like the sport ones as I read they are good for vitamins or something??
My energy is quite low and my lower legs are very heavy
Try to get bit of energy so I can clean my home an cook

 

[DiabeticDadUK]

On an off for a month there mostly just Hi
Occasional 30
Yes I'm definitely type one
Like I've said before I have some bets function still
Iv been type 1 for ten months

Alright. Without trying to be too blunt, you need to get this sorted out as a priority. If your monitor is showing "HI" then that's a very dangerous BG. 30mmol is incredibly high and that is why you're feeling so thirsty and the other symptoms.

I don't want to panic or worry you but there is no real way to sugar coat this (pardon the pun). You're in very real danger unless you start injecting your insulin and lowering your BG.

Please seek some help from your GP urgently. I fear they may send you off to hospital and admit you until you get your BG under reasonable control.

 

[DiabeticDadUK]

Simply because I'm sick of it
That's the truth
I don't want to do prick my fingers anymore - it hurts an it is not what I want to add to my every single day life
Count food
Be carb careful
Weigh stuff
Injections arnt the worst of it
So I don't mind injecting here in there
Like someone said to me ... do the minimal at least
So I'm doing that
So what drinks can I have like the sport ones as I read they are good for vitamins or something??
My energy is quite low and my lower legs are very heavy
Try to get bit of energy so I can clean my home an cook

You need to control it, Nessa. I'm sorry to say that T1 is work and it doesn't stop being work. It just becomes part of your life eventually. It sounds like you're in the sad/angry/denial stage which I suffered as a child. I am sorry you've been diagnosed as T1 but unless you start to control it better you will finish up very seriously ill, or worse!

Don't let this beat you and don't give up.

 

[nessa1970]

Alright. Without trying to be too blunt, you need to get this sorted out as a priority. If your monitor is showing "HI" then that's a very dangerous BG. 30mmol is incredibly high and that is why you're feeling so thirsty and the other symptoms.

I don't want to panic or worry you but there is no real way to sugar coat this (pardon the pun). You're in very real danger unless you start injecting your insulin and lowering your BG.

Please seek some help from your GP urgently. I fear they may send you off to hospital and admit you until you get your BG under reasonable control.

Oh I'm pretty ok I'm not very ill like vomiting etc I'm use to Hi readings I can have them for weeks
I'm unwell but not hospital unwell I'm saying
I've been HI for four weeks
Yes I'm pretty weak body's heavy etc but I'm ok
I'll ring my nurse this week to check in maybe
But really they'll only growl an I don't feel like being treated like I'm ten
Lol
Just trying to be ok but not have this control my whole world
While I've got some cells still in place may as well enjoy that

 

[Juicyj]

Nessa - you've had lots of supportive posts from members in the past about this, we can only repeat what we've said which is to get back in to a routine again as your body will continue to suffer if you don't take your insulin and you know the outcome is not good if you don't take it, your body is weak because your cells cannot absorb glucose so despite drinking lots of sugary drinks won't make a blind bit of difference unless you take insulin, you cannot utilise glucose efficiently and will simply pee with this out in your urine.

If carb counting is a pain then stick to the same meals which you know the dosages for.

I can only say that you will make this a complicated condition if you let but you need to take control and own this, no one can take your insulin for you, somehow you have to find the fight mentally to get on top of this - please call your nurse ASAP and tell her what you are doing Nessa ?

 

[nessals946]

10 months of being type 1 and you're doing this to yourself? Ive had diabetes for 42 years and there have been times when ive seriously had some burnout times BUT you are setting yourself up for a lot of problems if you carry on like this.Its not going to go away and you have to find a way to live with it.You must realise you need help or you wouldnt post on here for advice.You may have depression and that can be treated.

 

[DiabeticDadUK]

Oh I'm pretty ok I'm not very ill like vomiting etc I'm use to Hi readings I can have them for weeks
I'm unwell but not hospital unwell I'm saying
I've been HI for four weeks
Yes I'm pretty weak body's heavy etc but I'm ok
I'll ring my nurse this week to check in maybe
But really they'll only growl an I don't feel like being treated like I'm ten
Lol
Just trying to be ok but not have this control my whole world
While I've got some cells still in place may as well enjoy that

Oh Nessa! come on now. I'm trying not to be too blunt with you or scare you or upset you. You don't need to be vomiting to be doing some pretty serious damage to yourself. There are so many things that could be going wrong on the inside for you, right now. I think you have two choices:

- You start afresh. Start taking your insulin as instructed, watching what you eat and drink and keep your blood glucose as close to what has been recommend for you as you can. Get support from your nurse or doctor as often as you can. If they're talking to you like you're ten then stand up for yourself but don't let that affect your health.
Or
- You carry on as you have been lately. At some stage they will carry you out of your house and load you into an ambulance. You may well be beyond help at that stage.

It is your choice. Again, I'm sorry to sound blunt. I do sympathise but at some stage it's time to put on your big girl pants and fight this thing

 

[nessa1970]

Nessa - you've had lots of supportive posts from members in the past about this, we can only repeat what we've said which is to get back in to a routine again as your body will continue to suffer if you don't take your insulin and you know the outcome is not good if you don't take it, your body is weak because your cells cannot absorb glucose so despite drinking lots of sugary drinks won't make a blind bit of difference unless you take insulin, you cannot utilise glucose efficiently and will simply pee with this out in your urine.

If carb counting is a pain then stick to the same meals which you know the dosages for.

I can only say that you will make this a complicated condition if you let but you need to take control and own this, no one can take your insulin for you, somehow you have to find the fight mentally to get on top of this - please call your nurse ASAP and tell her what you are doing Nessa ?

@Juicyj
Ok
I don't why I post on here when I'm in this bad space as somehow I feel guilty because your all so supportive to a stranger who is pretty **** annoying an frustrating ..
And you because you all know so much about it..
I get so tired of it all ya no
Too the point were I don't really care I guess..
Stupid thinking
I no it
I'm sort of comfortable with Hi blood sugars, even if I get really unwell like I am
It somehow is cosy
The other is harder somehow
Gosh I need to work that out
Thanks for still being there
X

 

[nessa1970]

Oh Nessa! come on now. I'm trying not to be too blunt with you or scare you or upset you. You don't need to be vomiting to be doing some pretty serious damage to yourself. There are so many things that could be going wrong on the inside for you, right now. I think you have two choices:

- You start afresh. Start taking your insulin as instructed, watching what you eat and drink and keep your blood glucose as close to what has been recommend for you as you can. Get support from your nurse or doctor as often as you can. If they're talking to you like you're ten then stand up for yourself but don't let that affect your health.
Or
- You carry on as you have been lately. At some stage they will carry you out of your house and load you into an ambulance. You may well be beyond help at that stage.

It is your choice. Again, I'm sorry to sound blunt. I do sympathise but at some stage it's time to put on your big girl pants and fight this thing

No need to be sorry for being blunt an telling it honestly.. I do hear you an the others too
I guess I do post on here and share it because I know people will be honest and maybe deep inside I no I need to hear it...
Hoping it will jump into being sensible
I do have ptsd so at times this can be an extra struggle an quite frankly diabetes becomes a pest and in the way as well as of course destructive.
Sort of a dilemma
Thanks for sharing with me
I do apriciate it
X

 

[CHIET1]

No need to be sorry for being blunt an telling it honestly.. I do hear you an the others too
I guess I do post on here and share it because I know people will be honest and maybe deep inside I no I need to hear it...
Hoping it will jump into being sensible
I do have ptsd so at times this can be an extra struggle an quite frankly diabetes becomes a pest and in the way as well as of course destructive.
Sort of a dilemma
Thanks for sharing with me
I do apriciate it
X

In my own experience as T1 with some beta cell function left like you, it took me 2+ yrs to kick the fake food cravings! It's not easy, but it's definitely needed and it really makes a difference now and hopefully long into the future. Also, if you need more motivation I believe if you stabilize your blood sugar levels, then it's likely you can hold on to your remaining beta cell function or at least delay the destruction process! This will certainly make life easier in the long run, particularly if you don't like injecting insulin. Read Dr. Bernstein diabetes solution.

Good luck!

 

[Juicyj]

@nessa1970 I am unsure why you are comfortable running high - your body is suffering, it will affect your thinking, it's not a healthy state to be in, everything works in slow motion and your body is being damaged as a result, I personally prefer being in range as I can think clearly and can get on with life. I know we've been through this before but seeking help on a forum is only going to tell you that you should be taking your insulin this is why you have to speak to your DSN asap, tell her what is going on with you, tell you are in self destruct mode, she is in a better position than us to help you. You have a family to think about, keeping well is so important for both you and your family, please seriously think about taking your insulin again - bin those fizzy drinks, get back on water and start flushing the glucose out, honestly if I could be there with you to support you I would but it really is down to you to see some sense and just start taking ownership again Nessa, please take care hun, it's very worrying to hear you're abusing your insulin again.

 

[nessa1970]

@nessa1970 I am unsure why you are comfortable running high - your body is suffering, it will affect your thinking, it's not a healthy state to be in, everything works in slow motion and your body is being damaged as a result, I personally prefer being in range as I can think clearly and can get on with life. I know we've been through this before but seeking help on a forum is only going to tell you that you should be taking your insulin this is why you have to speak to your DSN asap, tell her what is going on with you, tell you are in self destruct mode, she is in a better position that us to help you. You have a family to think about, keeping well is so important for both you and your family, please seriously think about taking your insulin again - bin those fizzy drinks, get back on water and start flushing the glucose out, honestly if I could be there with you to support you I would but it really is down to you to see some sense and just start taking ownership again Nessa, please take care hun, it's very worrying to hear you're abusing your insulin again.

Yes your so right
I can't really understand how I end up so strong about not taking it
Somehow it grows that way each day and it gets difficult to change it I'm to busy sleeping an peeing
I will ring my dsn tomorrow
Promise
Thank you @Juicyj
So helpful from so far away
It's great that help is possible thru this forum
I'd be pretty alone without it
Really nice to hear from people who have the same condtion

 

[Resurgam]

This isn't some sort of rehearsal, Nessa - you are doing it live - right up until the time that you aren't.
You can't use sugar for energy - that pathway is broken - unless you add in the insulin 'bridge' you have been privileged to obtain.
High sugars really can make you loose touch with reality - since bringing down my readings my ability to write fantasy has really gone south, but I would not go back to pre diagnosis levels just to get that back.

 

[leslie10152]

So I stopped taking insulin for three weeks an started taking some again
Mostly basal 8 morn sometimes at night use to be 12 an 12
I may correct a HI once every second evening
I am very weak tired cold hands feet legs bit heavy dry mouth thirsty I must drink eight litres a day at lest five are coke an or juice
I'm bloated in tummy I think if I don't no water
Anyway I am finding I'm on a journey I don't know how to stop
My fizzy is like herion
But I'm high sugars without coke so I no juice an coke isn't helping
But of course the sandpaper mouth makes me drink it
My ketones are fine
So I'm not dieing or in danger
So any advice cool
Thanks

Take my advice and don't skip your insulin. I made that mistake working busy shifts and not testing and injecting. You may very well land yourself in hospital. Never think you can get away with it. Diabetes never sleeps!

 

[EllsKBells]

@nessa1970 I can only repeat what others have said - you need to take your insulin. This isn't 'enjoying what beta cells you have left', this is destroying them, and a good few other types of cells as well. Diabetes is HARD, everyone here understands that, we really do. Struggles with mental health make it harder - I've been there, I've done that, I've got the t-shirt, and it has cost me dearly. Type 1 is a mean, greedy, horrible monster. It can be exhausting, but what you are doing is making it worse - by making yourself feel awful like this, you are making it more difficult to handle. The thing is, you might not always feel like this, and then you might regret the damage that you are doing now.

In an ideal world, you would be testing before meals, and two hours after, and before bed. You said you are struggling to test. The most important thing is to take your insulin - you might think you are fine, but you are not. Not having ketones does not mean that damage is not being done. Take your insulin. Set yourself a target of testing three times a day, before meals. I know this is a really heavy burden to carry, and often you just want to scream under the weight of it, but when your numbers are better, you start to feel better physically, and then it is slightly easier to manage it all.

You've mentioned before your partner and your grandchildren - so you have people who love you, and it will be really, really hurting them to watch you do this to yourself. So if the thought of doing it for future you isn't enough, do it for them. Take your insulin, please, and also call your DSN ASAP - she needs to be aware that you have got this abusive relationship with your insulin, and your counsellor as well. You have to let people help you.

And if it's the 'texture' of something fizzy you're wanting, how about sparkling water?