CaptainKidd27
Member
- Messages
- 5
- Type of diabetes
- Type 1
Hello. I am a type one diabetic, and have been for almost five years at this point, diagnosed when I was 16. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my teenage and adult years so far, and only recently had it begun to improve. However, last year, after a particularly bad end to a relationship, I fell into a deep depression and began to completely neglect my condition, no longer caring or putting value on my life at all. During this time, though I mostly continued taking my Lantus, I pretty much I completely neglected to take any fast acting insulin for a period of 9 months to a year. I know this was a terrible desicion in retrospect, but as people with depression can atttest, hindsight is 20/20. My condition has improved greatly in the recent weeks, and with the help of medication, I am almost back to my old happy and life-loving self, however, there's is an aching fear that gnaws at me every second of the day. Will I die young? Because of this terrible desicion, have I essentially committed suicide? Even though my numbers have been under control lately, when I first started testing again a couple weeks ago, it was not uncommon to see readings in the high 20s to low 30s. Is it too late now, or can I still live a healthy life after this major blunder. I've cried myself to sleep for the last few nights because I'm so terrified that It might not matter what I do now. Because of the rural nature of where I live, it will be a while before I can get into a doctor, but I just need someone to tell me that I'll be okay, that this one year of terrible desicions can be outweighed by turning over a new leaf and properly managing my condition. Thank you. Also, I should mention I haven't had any Symptoms of complications yet, like neuropathy or blurred vision.
Omg Amy, I'm glad you wrote this, because it's good to see I'm not alone. I forgot that before finding this online community. I literally used to walk around in a zombie state, 20+ too, water and peeing all day too...then, the next years, something like you describe. I'm 25 now, and just want to do the work of getting my A1C in control. For all these years I thought I was invincible. I thought I could do this, and now I know I can't do this alone. Nobodys going to do it for me but alone I cannot.Glad to hear you are back at it!
Just thought I'd share my lil story which is similar. I was diagnosed T1 at 15. For the first few months my bloods were OK. When I was about 16/17 I started to neglect it real bad, got a job, a boyfriend, a life lol, and I didn't want diabetes in it. So I would walk around every day like a zombie with bloods of 20+ and just keep drinking and pissing drinking and pissing without taking insulin properly, literally took lantus twice a week and novo rapid with big meals.
I (touch wood) have never been hospitalised with DKA or anything since diagnosis, but I do have background retinopathy, and doctors have actually said 'you are so lucky you never been in hospital with bloods like this'
I quit my job as a Pharmacy Assistant (training to be a Dispenser) because my depression and anxiety was awful; the root being diabetes. I was always tired, moody, emotional. I'm now in a **** job because this anxiety won't go away, and I don't think it ever will
It's only the past few months I've started to make a change. My bloods are still a bit ****, I miss injections (usually by putting it off, 'oh I'll do it when I get home' never on purpose) miss count carbs etc, my average bloods are like 10/14 now. Still some highs and I feel hypo at 5/6. I'm gonna be 21 in August, need to get on top of it now as I would like to see 65 at least.. literally
So yeah my control has been **** for 3 years? Up and down, hba1c like between 9 & 12% each time
Sorry I rambled a bit lol.. But I just want you to know that you are not alone.
Take care and if you ever need to talk message me, I'm new to this too so yeah
Amy
I know it's a bit late, sorry for not replying earlier guys. I just wanted to thank everyone so very much for their words of kindness and encouragement, especially those who shared stories similar to mine. I honestly can't express how much you guys have made me feel better, it's good to know I'm not the only one who has fallen off the wagon, and that it's not too late to get better. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all. I've been constantly testing and adjusting for the past few days, and my numbers have seen a stellar improvement, so I'm very optimistic about the future, and I'll be careful not to let my condition go to the wayside again.
Omg Amy, I'm glad you wrote this, because it's good to see I'm not alone. I forgot that before finding this online community. I literally used to walk around in a zombie state, 20+ too, water and peeing all day too...then, the next years, something like you describe. I'm 25 now, and just want to do the work of getting my A1C in control. For all these years I thought I was invincible. I thought I could do this, and now I know I can't do this alone. Nobodys going to do it for me but alone I cannot.
Thanks for sharing your story Amy.
Best,
Rachel
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