Type 1 and anger

[mountaintom]

5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Anyone faced with diagnosis with an incurable chronic condition for no known reason will naturally feel angry. Youre grieving for your healthy life before diagnosis.

What’s the bargaining bit? Bargaining with G-d?

 

[mountaintom]

You need some support from your GP. Have you asked for any? We can self-refer for talk therapy and dn can put us in touch with diabetic psychologist.
Give the dn a try first?

Thanks I’ll deffo mention it next app.

 

[mountaintom]

This is kind of unannounced rage that comes from nowhere. No voices in my head yet though.

 

[Jc3131]

When my bloods are over 10mmol and rising I have a short fuse. I also am quite irritable and I'm a pleasure to be around.

When my bloods are low I tend to be irritable but it's more to do with having a one track mind at treating a hypo. If anyone talks to me or gives me 'advice' I can be quite sharp.

When my bloods are normal I can be quite irritable (only joking).

 

[ickihun]

What’s the bargaining bit? Bargaining with G-d?

I think.... if type1s take the insulin then it keeps them alive. Bargaining.
I think.

 

[ickihun]

When I'm in pain I'm short tempered. Diabetes has to take second fiddle to being in less pain to be able to walk or function.

I was getting obsessive with my bgs being perfect til I had a strong word with myself. The obsession was taking presidency over family life. So I had to dilute my obsession. I became more joyful.
Life is for living not being so unhappy and living til I'm 110yrs old.
Dying as the happiest diabetic rather than the most grouchiest.
It finding that happy safe balance. (Easier for some than others, depending how brittle their diabetes is).
Twice I've been asked recently how many times do I test my bgs, by A&E drs.
They use my reply and hba1c to see if testing is keeping my bgs in control? My hba1c have been in good range by A&E standards, maybe lower.
Diabetes cannot cause bulging disc/s. Stomach infection from kids lergy occurs even in none diabetics.

Majority of type1s have a more serious life threatening and impulsive form of diabetes to a majority of type2s. There's always the minorities.
Acceptance is the biggest help to any health problem.
For me with re-occuring bell's palsy, PCOS or thyroid symptoms. Diabetes/IR is just another one. Some argue the catalyst.
Oh recently asthma and Iron defiency.

When I have to re sight my ailments, history and meds then I can get annoyed. Annoyed with those who don't have compassion. Not at diabetes.
Annoyance for me is not violent but an irritant.

 

[mountaintom]

When I'm in pain I'm short tempered. Diabetes has to take second fiddle to being in less pain to be able to walk or function.

I was getting obsessive with my bgs being perfect til I had a strong word with myself. The obsession was taking presidency over family life. So I had to dilute my obsession. I became more joyful.
Life is for living not being so unhappy and living til I'm 110yrs old.
Dying as the happiest diabetic rather than the most grouchiest.
It finding that happy safe balance. (Easier for some than others, depending how brittle their diabetes is).
Twice I've been asked recently how many times do I test my bgs, by A&E drs.
They use my reply and hba1c to see if testing is keeping my bgs in control? My hba1c have been in good range by A&E standards, maybe lower.
Diabetes cannot cause bulging disc/s. Stomach infection from kids lergy occurs even in none diabetics.

Majority of type1s have a more serious life threatening and impulsive form of diabetes to a majority of type2s. There's always the minorities.
Acceptance is the biggest help to any health problem.
For me with re-occuring bell's palsy, PCOS or thyroid symptoms. Diabetes/IR is just another one. Some argue the catalyst.
Oh recently asthma and Iron defiency.

When I have to re sight my ailments, history and meds then I can get annoyed. Annoyed with those who don't have compassion. Not at diabetes.
Annoyance for me is not violent but an irritant.

Thanks Ickihun

 

[NoKindOfSusie]

The advice you've been given that it will be ok is always heavily caveated by the fact that T1 is unpredictable, there's no guarantees

No it isn't. It's just "advice" from people who will say literally anything to make themselves feel better, no matter how unconvincing or just stupid. If they actually MENTIONED those caveats it might mean something but they don't. This is just a bunch of people trying to persuade themselves that something is lovely when it isn't. Sorry but I can't maintain that sort of cognitive dissonance. Nothing makes me angry about this more than YOU GUYS.

 

[NoKindOfSusie]

i get angry but i think thats more because i hate diabetes

Careful you're not allowed to say that round here, only a permanent attitude of forced happiness is allowable.

 

[ickihun]

Careful you're not allowed to say that round here, only a permanent attitude of forced happiness is allowable.

It breaks my heart that you are so unhappy in your life.
Acceptance is the key.
Maybe you'll never accept you can be happy and a type1 diabetic.
You must want to change to change your foresight.
I don't believe you cannot be happy again.

I think being angry is a different emotion to unhappiness.

Happiness is a state of mind.

Have you ever been happy? When was the last time you laughed so loud and long your ribs ached?
Has that response from you dead now?

 

[kev-w]

No it isn't. It's just "advice" from people who will say literally anything to make themselves feel better, no matter how unconvincing or just stupid. If they actually MENTIONED those caveats it might mean something but they don't. This is just a bunch of people trying to persuade themselves that something is lovely when it isn't. Sorry but I can't maintain that sort of cognitive dissonance. Nothing makes me angry about this more than YOU GUYS.

Couldn't you get an insulin pen with a smilie face on?

Sorry, sarcasm being the lowest form of wit and all that jazz... But no, I'd say it's a bunch of people trying to make the best of what they've got, and it's not so much the saying of things to make ourselves feel better, but the DOING of things to achieve that.

Look at it another way, if this was a 100 years ago you'd be dead, same as each and every t1 on this board so it could be worse, a whole lot worse in fact.

Compromise is a tool you've yet to find.

 

[Tony337]

Type 1 of 44 years here and I get angrier now more than I have ever done.
I have an immense lack of tolerance and patience.

Its nothing to do with diabetes ( I don't get angry when my levels are low I get ratty) its because I'm a miserable git!
I'm 50 in a few weeks and that's depressing me more than diabetes does!

Tony

 

[Fairygodmother]

@NoKindOfSusie, you’ve got diabetes, end of.
Being angry with it, or us, isn’t going to make it go away. It’s up to you how you live with it.
You say people are trying to persuade themselves that it’s lovely. We’re not. Quite often we come on here to look for others who’ve found a way to cope with a particular diabetes situation we’ve encountered, or to vent after an incident that others on this site will understand from their own experience. Sometimes we want to celebrate an achievement.
Sometimes we just want to be lighthearted or speak with forum friends. And why not?
One thing most of us know though, however long we’ve had it for, is that like the rest of life it has its ups and downs. And it’s not equal, it affects us all individually. But it doesn’t have to prevent us from having any happiness, success, adventure.
We just have to work at it. That can be hard sometimes. It takes a bit of time, occasionally it takes a lot of time. We always need to be aware of our extra companion, T1.
If you make T1 your enemy, though, it’s war - and the enemy inevitably has better weapons than you: it’ll devastate both your body and your mind. So why do it?

 

[KK123]

Loads of people on this forum have told me it'll be ok, they don't know any better than anyone else.

To be fair Susie, I think Scott was referring to those people who were not diabetics themselves and didn't have a clue about it. The vast majority on this forum DO have a clue about how it affects them and can therefore give helpful advice to others, whether you take it or not, albeit you are right in that nobody knows YOU more than you.

 

[ickihun]

Type 1 of 44 years here and I get angrier now more than I have ever done.
I have an immense lack of tolerance and patience.

Its nothing to do with diabetes ( I don't get angry when my levels are low I get ratty) its because I'm a miserable git!
I'm 50 in a few weeks and that's depressing me more than diabetes does!

Tony

50 is classed as elderly.... medically. Myself I see it as middle age now people are living longer.
I'm 47and I've a whole lot of living to be done. Loads.
I've done loads too so why change a habit of a lifetime?
Life is for the living.

 

[Fairygodmother]

Nicest thing about being ‘elderly’ is saying what you think. People expect it of grumpy old gits so we’d be letting them all down if we didn’t.

 

[SueJB]

@NoKindOfSusie, you’ve got diabetes, end of.
Being angry with it, or us, isn’t going to make it go away. It’s up to you how you live with it.
You say people are trying to persuade themselves that it’s lovely. We’re not. Quite often we come on here to look for others who’ve found a way to cope with a particular diabetes situation we’ve encountered, or to vent after an incident that others on this site will understand from their own experience. Sometimes we want to celebrate an achievement.
Sometimes we just want to be lighthearted or speak with forum friends. And why not?
One thing most of us know though, however long we’ve had it for, is that like the rest of life it has its ups and downs. And it’s not equal, it affects us all individually. But it doesn’t have to prevent us from having any happiness, success, adventure.
We just have to work at it. That can be hard sometimes. It takes a bit of time, occasionally it takes a lot of time. We always need to be aware of our extra companion, T1.
If you make T1 your enemy, though, it’s war - and the enemy inevitably has better weapons than you: it’ll devastate both your body and your mind. So why do it?

Thanks for putting into words how I feel about myself, diabetes and this forum. I would be lost without it.... the forum, not the diabetes! I think that what @catapillar says about the stages is right @mountaintom and also as @Jc3131 I get angry now when my BG is low. At the beginning of this trip I used to get livid and really nasty and now just from time to time. As @kev-w rightly says, 100 years ago we wouldn't be here. So @Tony337,enjoy your birthday, round ones are really good. When I write on this, I'm not always happy @NoKindOfSusie so I wouldn't agree that a "permanent attitude of forced happiness is allowable" here.
Having diabetes does not fill me with joy but it's not going anywhere so I just have to suck it up, just like the other pills I have to pop, and enjoy myself.

 

[Deleted Account]

I guess I'm pretty laid back and don't find diabetes makes me angry even when my BG is misbehaving in either direction. Although, lack of patience is sometimes an indication my BG is getting low.

I am probably weird but I see diabetes as something which I can do nothing about so, with my logical, engineering brain, I don't see anything to get angry about. My diabetes emotions tend to be around the diagnosis: I am happy/grateful that I was diagnosed because I would not be here otherwise. ... It's the happy/grateful bit that probably makes me weird.

It tends to be people that make me angry. It's usually their laziness or negative defeatist attitude that frustrate me. I am not talking about people with or talking about diabetes ... I mean all people.

Like @kev-w I find exercise calms me down - something about giving an outlet for the anger.
Along the same lines, I also find bread making therapeutic - as well as creating something at the end of it, I sometimes picture the face of someone particularly annoying in the dough as I vigorously knead it.

 

[Fairygodmother]

@Tony337, from where I’m standing you’re a mere baby, a youngun, so have a great birthday in a few weeks’ time - it’s a great excuse for a knees up!

 

[Robinredbreast]

Type 1 of 44 years here and I get angrier now more than I have ever done.
I have an immense lack of tolerance and patience.

Its nothing to do with diabetes ( I don't get angry when my levels are low I get ratty) its because I'm a miserable git!
I'm 50 in a few weeks and that's depressing me more than diabetes does!

Tony

I have just turned 60 ................... even worse than 50, but still here and will keep going ( I know age is just a number)