Type 1 and Married Life

Hi @SHmano - sadly hypos go hand in hand with married life, obviously having a sympathetic partner who understands that this is part of the condition and knows how to respond is important. What aspect is your husband or yourself struggling with ? Am not a counsellor but we have married type 1’s who can respond and support from experience.

Hi @SHmano,
I’m married with Type 1. I’m with @Juicyj... what type of advice are you looking for and I’ll do my best to help?

Hi @SHmano It sounds like your husbands lack of understanding that's the issue here, if he fully understood that hypos affect us all differently and that's it not you personally at issue here, then he would have more sympathy for you and also understand that it's important to be understanding and helpful in ensuring you wake and treat the hypo. There was an incident recently where a news reporter had a hypo live on air: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42316493 It was his recount of the episode afterwards that has helped non-diabetics understand what a hypo is and how it affects us, perhaps show him this as an example to explain a hypo to him ?

In regards to your hypos, it's strongly advised to avoid them during sleep so are you able to understand what the cause of them is ? so too much insulin, not enough carbs, an adjustment of your basal required ?

Hi @SHmano Sorry to hear this - hypos can leave me weak and drained and then if someone is unsympathetic then this only adds fuel to my negativity, sadly there is no way to get over this unless you can change his mindset - how is he responding to you when you run low, so is he blaming you ?

Any ideas as to what's causing them ?

@SHmano - Can you try some basal testing then, as long as you have no active quick acting insulin on board before bedtime then your basal insulin needs to be checked, it would be worthwhile seeing if you can address the night time hypo issue for your sake. Doing an overnight test means waking every couple of hours to check but I think from what i'm gathering here it would help you hugely to get this sorted for your safety more than anything.

Here's a guideline to this: http://integrateddiabetes.com/basal-testing/

Also to add your husbands response is fairly typical of someone who has little knowledge of type 1 and hypos, perhaps show him the BBC clip I sent you to help him understand more ?

I'm lucky, been type 1 for over 34 years and been married all that time. My wife looks after me if I'm not well and knows exactly what to do if I get too low.

You pose an interesting question. I wonder if he is worried and perhaps feels a little inadequate as he knows ultimately there is not a lot he can do. Do you take him to hospital appointments with you, so that he could ask questions as well? How long have you been married?
I am lucky, my husband is the calm one when I flap and always has one ear open in the night when I am testing and chomping on jelly babies.
He is also prepared to stand his ground against my narky attitude when I am low and doesn’t hold it against me.

I've been type1 for nearly 57 years and my wife is brilliant and I have very little "hypo" awareness,

Diabetic for over 51 years. My husband took it upon himself to get educated about diabetes as he knew absolutely nothing and had never met a Type 1 before. Most people just don't understand the condition unless it affects them or someone close.

Is your husband unable to understand the ways a hypo affects you? There's a very big difference between genuine instability and the changes we suffer because of low blood sugars, but not everyone is able to disassociate the two. Despite this, I find it distressing that he's describing your hypos as an 'unstable condition' rather than helping you when they happen, and that he uses them against you in arguments.
@Juicyj's advice on basal testing's good. And have you looked at the clip she sent of the reporter's on air hypo yet? Have you shown it to your husband?
Ultimately, even though we thrive if our husbands are both sympathetic and helpful, it's up to us to find a way to live best with the lovely gift of T1. (I find irony helps.) I'm aware as I write this that having another person who cares that I'm well takes away some of the fear of a bad hypo. My husband and I lived apart for a year. During that time I had a few night time hypos that were unnerving. I think it was fear of them that affected my decisions about our relationship, and it's one of the reasons I like irony.
We're back together now. I'm currently trying to get to grips with changes in insulin needs that have occurred over the last few months and we've just talked together about strategies to solve some odd readings. I wonder sometimes what life would be like now if we'd not reunited. To paraphrase what Chaucer said, life's certainly uncertain. I wonder, too, what life would be like now if I'd been on the Dafne course back then rather than a few years later. Even though, like you, I've been T1 for a very long time, the ways it's managed have changed enormously. Insulins, testing equipment, carb to insulin calculations, etc etc. The Dafne course brought this old dinosaur up to date and enabled me to exercise far more control over the ways I live with T1. Have you got a similar access to ways of assessing carb values and ratios to insulin in Chennai? I'm attaching a link to an online version. Each region in the UK seems to have renamed the Dafne course; this one' called Bertie. https://www.bertieonline.org.uk/
I really hope that you find a good way to change the situation you're in!

Hi @EllieM I'm not aware of any courses in NZ similar to DAFNE - however you can join a really useful T1 course online: https://www.bertieonline.org.uk/

Hi @EllieM, I know of none in New Zealand, so I looked online, which you've probably done too. Couldn't see anything there either, sorry. Like @Juicyj says, you can access Bertie. Hope you're having a good summer.