Hi
@chamcham and welcome to the forums.
I too was diagnosed aged 8 and suspect I had terrible control in my teens, but this was preglucometer so the only reason I know this is my symptoms (raging thirst) and my very high hba1c when I was given my first glucometer in my early 20s. All I can say that if there was any fairness to this disease I would have massively more complications than I do now.
I have two thoughts about your situation.
Firstly are you getting any help vis a vis your mental state? It's not your fault that you have difficult to control diabetes and complications and any help you can get (counselling, a vent here?) is worth getting.
Secondly, arere your team giving you any helo with your diabetic control now? Just a thought but I find it hard to keep my weight under control and I personally find it goes up whenever my blood sugar goes up.... and creeps down (oh so slowly) when my levels are under control. Some people are just much more insulin resistant than others and need much more insulin. I don't know your insulin regime but if your dosing isn't right it makes things much harder. I would urge you to push them for help as diabetes technology (eg pumps and cgms) and understanding is improving all the time. Just because you struggle iwth control today doesn't mean things can'tget better tomorrow.
Tagging in
@DannyH and
@Helen40 who may be able to empathise.
Once more, welcome, please don't give up.