Type 1'stars R Us

my nurse she knows i asked her to get me released from hospital so i can slit my wrists i was very annoyed and upset about being in hospital and only getting 1 hour sleep one night then 20 minutes the next made me very angry

and when i say hospital portions i mean small portions and i'm trying to eat more fruit and veg less meat less fat

chris85 type 1 said:

and when i say hospital portions i mean small portions and i'm trying to eat more fruit and veg less meat less fat

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Why less meat and less fat?
Meat and fats need no or very little mealtime insulin and won't raise your blood glucose because there are no carbs in them, they're exactly the things I use to fill up on when my BG is already on the higher side, or if I don't feel like dealing with unpredictable numbers after a meal.

chris85 type 1 said:

my nurse she knows i asked her to get me released from hospital so i can slit my wrists i was very annoyed and upset about being in hospital and only getting 1 hour sleep one night then 20 minutes the next made me very angry

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Hospitals are the worst place for getting sleep, I agree.
What did your nurse say when you mentioned why you wanted to go home?

If you're struggling, you can always talk or email the Samaritans at any time of day, no waiting lists. Calling them is free at 116 123. https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/talk-us-phone/

A few years back I've reached out to a similar organisation in my country when I was very depressed and very lonely in the middle of the night. It got me through the night and I'm still here, and pretty happy nowadays.
You can always end the phonecall if you don't like it, nothing to lose.

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i'm losing interest in meat when i swallow it it gets stuck in my throat no matter how much i chew it

my nurse went and got the main diabetes dr and a different nurse they managed to talk me into reaching out for help

I'm so sorry you're struggling. If you don't have them already, I'd also ask your diabetes nurse about sick day rules when you see her, which should help you keep your numbers lower when you're ill.

chris85 type 1 said:

i'm losing interest in meat when i swallow it it gets stuck in my throat no matter how much i chew it

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No need to eat meat, but should you be looking for something to fill up on because you're hungry, what about eggs, or egg mayo, cheese, nuts, avocado? All very filling without needing much (if any) additional insulin.

lovinglife said:

How you feeling at the moment @chris85 type 1? Are you feeling at all that you may harm yourself?

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i got so angry earlier i've broken my hand or just bruised it badly it's throbbing but i'm chill now
stopping smoking weed and cigs after 27 years for the last 13 days and giving up my precious jager all at the same time is getting harder to do each day but i've got this

Antje77 said:

No need to eat meat, but should you be looking for something to fill up on because you're hungry, what about eggs, or egg mayo, cheese, nuts, avocado? All very filling without needing much (if any) additional insulin.

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nah i want fruit and veg the weight is dropping off me half a stone (7 lbs or 3 kg) lost since the 5th

lovinglife said:

Please say if anything changes and you feel that you may harm yourself or need further help

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i'm not going to hurt myself like that i couldn't do that because of my niece and nephew i do get the thoughts but i never act on them

A bit of cooling may be helpful with the hand. I'll have my fingers crossed for you it's only bruised. (Don't cross your own fingers with the injured hand please )

Would you be up to test your bg right now?
High bg can make you very depressed and angry all by itself.

chris85 type 1 said:

nah i want fruit and veg the weight is dropping off me half a stone (7 lbs or 3 kg) lost since the 5th

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Nothing wrong with fruit and veg, if you can dose for it.

Are you sure you're not taking too much on your plate at the same time?
You've just come out of a two day coma from DKA, you're following a low calorie diet to lose weight, you've quit smoking and drinking, all in the past few weeks while also struggling with a rather serious depression and burnout.

What about cutting yourself some slack? You're asking an awful lot of yourself!

Antje77 said:

A bit of cooling may be helpful with the hand. I'll have my fingers crossed for you (don't cross your own fingers with the injured hand please ) it's only bruised.

Would you be up to test your bg right now?
High bg can make you very depressed and angry all by itself.

Nothing wrong with fruit and veg, if you can dose for it.

Are you sure you're not taking too much on your plate at the same time?
You've just come out of a two day coma from DKA, you're following a low calorie diet to lose weight, you've quit smoking and drinking, all in the past few weeks while also struggling with a rather serious depression and burnout.

What about cutting yourself some slack? You're asking an awful lt of yourself!

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blood or libre reading ? i use the carbs and cals app to help me figure out the dose

chris85 type 1 said:

blood or libre reading ? i use the carbs and cals app to help me figure out the dose

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Blood is more accurate, but if you're monitoring your numbers with Libre despite your burnout, I'd say very well done! So much better than not monitoring and blindly dosing.
Are your numbers reasonable at the moment?

12.0mmol/L a bit high but i ate not long ago thats blood reading

@Chris85 We are more prone to getting depressed. Fighting a disease daily is not easy and then if you add fluctuations in BG levels it can add chemical changes in our body that makes it worse. So yes, diabetes burnout is a very real thing, depression is a very real thing.

When you are depressed it's really hard to try to want to feel better? You know you need help but don't know how to help. And that is where counseling can really help. And thinking of wanting to end it all means you need some help dealing with life right now.

But I always try to remind myself and it helps me, I'm not sure if it will you, but it could be a lot worse. Our disease has a solve and that's insulin. It causes major adjustments sometimes, usually it's more of annoyance, but at least we have it. My uncle died before I was born because insulin was barely discovered and not well known yet on the best way to dose or use. There are several disease that aren't so easily solved and are so much worse. Life isn't fair and it just seems to be that way.

But type 1 can be harder to control for some versus others. And all you can do is try to apply yourself the best you can. Honestly the hospital is there for when you need it, that's why it exists. But do you really want to be there? Or the possible repercussions of what can happen that brought you there? It's really not in your best interests to pass out from low BG levels or DKA.

If you want to take a set dose, the best way is to eat a set amount of carbs to match. If you change up your carbs from say 2 potatoes to just a cup of berries, it's going to cause a problem. I am wondering if a loop pump system would be best? They can't make all the decisions for you, you still need to know dosing is different for berries versus potatoes, but they make adjustments and they can be set to foods you commonly eat and dosing. It might help you some. And it's why so much work is being put into designing them

I feel for you and I hope it gets better for you soon. We are all here for you as we all know how hard this disease can be. I'm sure everyone will agree that we all would love to help you feel better and manage to do better. So post and ask what you need help with and we all will try our best.

Big Hugs.

@Marie 2 i'm on a closed loop system but the sensor stopped working i'm waiting for medtronics newest sensor the simplera sensor i think i get it and my pump back on thursday

can i just say a huge thank you to everyone who has spoken to me