What was your fasting blood glucose? (full on chat)

[gennepher]

6.3 today! Lovely morning after a fresh start, indeed, coldest night since February! Heating set at sixteen degrees came on automatically! Sunny and warm now! Tidy up in garden or reading and relaxing in my easy chair?

During my counselling, and my quiet time after the footie last night, I have come to the conclusion that I may be in denial with my thinking of how I tackle my future. My reliance on my ex working life to be my reliance to get on with my lot. Family is still a huge part of my day to day and it fills so much of my day! But there is that time when I am not going about my day. This is, as you are probably aware that, is when we have as @dunelm @gennepher would use for their unbelievable art! Television has not got the appeal it once did, struggling to find something I like that I haven't watched, same with reading. I found out through my DIL, that I speed read, and I have often read a whole decent sized novel in a few hours. It is a good job that during my hypo hell time before diagnosis, that I can't remember a lot of the books that I read then!
I have my garden, but it is an excuse to be outside.
In other words, other than my family time, I have nothing to fill hours. I am not lonely!
Due to circumstances, because of my carer role, I cannot subscribe to volunteer work without feeling real anxiety leaving Mrs L, without care. It has become apparent that even going for counselling my anxiety kicks in, being away from home!
I still cannot feel elation!
I'm happier, but no joy!
I have no excitement in me!
I still have a few minutes in the morning when I wake up, I don't want to get up, but I know, I can't stay there in my pit! From that moment till the morning bits are done and Mrs L chores are done. I can have an hour doing something! Computer jigsaw sometimes!
It always, feels that I'm not doing enough! Though I am aware that I'm doing too much! Don't know how to work that out!
Because of the restless legs issues, I can't sit for long without having to get up and do something!
But that doesn't help!

I am frustrated, so much, anxiety going out, anxiety away from Mrs L, anxiety over her health and misrememberitis, trying not to be frustrated with her, anxiety over being angry over the frustration with the repetition of Mrs L asking or questioning, misunderstanding of even what day it is! Finding things she has put away and a lot, lot more!
I'm coping, as much as I can. Help would be grateful, family are great but it is not ideal to see Mrs L, the way she is!
And finally I'm using the few occasions to go the footie, to watch my team, as an excuse to get out, when within half an hour, my brain is questioning my reasons for going, and I have guilt and anxiety in reams!
I have crossed off the need to go back to the football club, to assuage that part of the anxiety issues! I have no longer pain from that! I have faced that and it's not a problem now!

My confidence is not great! My reasoning is not muddled, I can do stuff, but I'm still wary of doing things that I'm not sure of. Does that make sense?

I still have certain shopping anxiety, certain shops are beyond my anxiety, especially the bigger superstores! Panic attacks are the reason for this. Avoiding them when out with Mrs L is a task of persuasion!

Chores and shopping done!

I know the denial, is in hoping something comes about as it does in life to change things, have no idea what or want it to be. I know that my life as such, will very likely not be any better anytime soon!
I'm not a fan of this, not knowing!
And of course, My anxiety over my anxiety, which is that I'm very anxious about it all!
I can't help it!


My best wishes to you all as always!

Yes @Lamont D
All of what you say makes sense.

Speed reading is good. I have always been able to do that...

I have my garden also. Sitting on my swing, just being, watching the birds brings calmness and peace.

Feeling that you are not doing enough is something I feel too. Yet others think differently of me and feel that I do more than they do. I can't see it.

My brain questions me and my reasons too.

I like @dunelm 's response to your post, and the video he posts.

My birth mother had dementia, and that was hard, and I was constantly finding strategies for her to cope. It is never ending.

You have a heck of a task on a daily basis caring for Mrs L.

Your garden is good. I don't call it 'an excuse to be outside' like you say. To me gardens can be places of healing, tranquility, and peace (although to get peace in mine I have to take my hearing processor off during the day so I cannot hear the constant machinery noise from next door). The fresh air is good.

Yes, it makes sense you are wary of things you are not sure of.

The lockdowns didn't help. Didn't help me. I was teaching several days a week at the local community centre - art, computers, how to use iPads, teaching how to use Ancestry & Find My Past, and more. The community centre & cafe closed down from the first lockdown, and never opened up again. So that was 10 years of my life wiped out. The people I knew there just faded away. So that was the purpose in my life gone.

I have no desire to start teaching again. Thought about it, but I need something different now...

I have 'my' stray cats now, and the wild beasties who inhabit my garden...


Take care...

 

[lindisfel]

Had a real problem on line buying a membership gift to the RHS for my eldest. At the end it put me through a silly robot test after gathering all my details, then it told me my means of paying was rejected. Then I found my landline was not receiving speech when I made a phone call.
In the morning I couldn't go out as planned because my nitro spray made me feel unwell.
So a frustrating day.

But our friends from down the road called later and we had a good chat and laugh.

Never mind today's going to be great day for us all.
A t.b.
Derek

 

[ianpspurs]

Morning all on Holy Cross day - Pesto Genovese? yes please.. Lots to ponder on in posts since last evening. Fbg 5.1 here which is adequate but top end of what I like. Libre acting as a a CGM shows up DP/FOF (foot on floor) 5.6 by the time I'd dressed, gone down, emptied dishwasher, made tea and sorted the dogs. My equivalent of making the bed - thanks for reminding me of that speech @dunelm. I've often heard it said that God doesn't give you more than you can bear/handle. The resilience, dignity and love for others of so many here backs that up. Thoughts and prayers with you all carrying your own crosses.

 

[Annb]

Today is sufficient unto itself. Can't remember where that comes from but I do agree with the sentiment. I do plan for things in the future but I no longer worry about them. Getting through today relatively unscathed is enough. I've also heard that saying, Ian, about God not giving you more than you can bear. Not sure who said that either, but I haven't found it in any scripture, so I assume it is a man-made quotation; I don't think it is correct either - just a way of bolstering someone's buckling spirit. Not everyone is strong enough to carry on giving their all and we don't know the exact point where anyone will break - not even ourselves.

If we are called upon to take over the care of someone we love, planning for a future is difficult so we tend to lose control of our own lives to whatever the disease is that our loved one is suffering, be it mental, physical or spiritual, or even a combination of 2 or more. We love and we give our all, even if the loved one has forgotten that they love, or even who their carer is.

Like with our own illnesses, we need to take each day as it comes, get through it either with satisfaction or the knowledge that we didn't get it right and so vow to do better next day. Each day has to be a new start. The days before were only to be remembered for what we learned; the future might, or might not, happen so plan but don't worry. Today is where it's at.

3.45 am on this day BG started at 10.1. I clearly didn't get away with the frozen potato skins yesterday. So no more potato skins, frozen or otherwise. Legs bandaging day, but that will be a bit later - Neil has to get his next Covid jab so I had to change my appointment so that he could get me to the surgery. Gives me a more relaxing morning.

Just going to get my 4th cup of tea and then think about breakfast.

 

[ianpspurs]

Today is sufficient unto itself. Can't remember where that comes from but I do agree with the sentiment. I do plan for things in the future but I no longer worry about them. Getting through today relatively unscathed is enough. I've also heard that saying, Ian, about God not giving you more than you can bear. Not sure who said that either, but I haven't found it in any scripture, so I assume it is a man-made quotation; I don't think it is correct either - just a way of bolstering someone's buckling spirit. Not everyone is strong enough to carry on giving their all and we don't know the exact point where anyone will break - not even ourselves.

If we are called upon to take over the care of someone we love, planning for a future is difficult so we tend to lose control of our own lives to whatever the disease is that our loved one is suffering, be it mental, physical or spiritual, or even a combination of 2 or more. We love and we give our all, even if the loved one has forgotten that they love, or even who their carer is.

Like with our own illnesses, we need to take each day as it comes, get through it either with satisfaction or the knowledge that we didn't get it right and so vow to do better next day. Each day has to be a new start. The days before were only to be remembered for what we learned; the future might, or might not, happen so plan but don't worry. Today is where it's at.

3.45 am on this day BG started at 10.1. I clearly didn't get away with the frozen potato skins yesterday. So no more potato skins, frozen or otherwise. Legs bandaging day, but that will be a bit later - Neil has to get his next Covid jab so I had to change my appointment so that he could get me to the surgery. Gives me a more relaxing morning.

Just going to get my 4th cup of tea and then think about breakfast.

I hope the leg bandaging goes smoothly. I reckon the bold aphorism is meant to be/comes from this. Peace be with you.

 

[Krystyna23040]

5.7 this morning. Dog walk, shopping at ALDI, coffee and then perhaps one more coffee before starting admin.

We mentioned to someone that we loved shopping at ALDI and they said that they never shopped at ALDI because it didn't have enough aisles of junk food. Didn't know quite how to respond to that so thought it best to just smile and nod.

 

[dunelm]

The first thing that came to mind was the ' For the want of a nail ' - 'I lost my kingdom ' or such, off the top of my head of ' it takes a village' context!I
Thanks for the motivational video, I have seen many other similar.

I would ask a question that I have asked a couple of counsellors.

How can I use motivation for myself, when I have used all mine on every one else? Or

What do you buy something for someone who has everything?

I used motivational techniques for teaching teamwork in car factory as a team leader teaching team leader skills of Andon, kaizan, just in time, QNIPS and more. I also used it in football coaching and then in a football club, transforming the kit department and it's environment!

I have before retirement only done minor domestic duties, especially with the kids, Mrs L looked after us all.
So I have tried to use my skills of experience to do my housework. I still loathe it! Same as shopping! It has took me a few years to get used to doing it ever so reluctantly.
I am a fish out of water! Struggling to cope with my burden of life. I am a battler, My life has been one struggle after another. And having my working life and everything important for my life bar family ripped away from me. A counsellor has described it worse than losing someone very dear to me! Because of the integral part of my life, was football, My club, My purpose of being, My dream job. My financial needs and my sanity! Football was my job, My relaxation, My interest my love of life and my social network, with close friends and colleagues.
I couldn't cope then and still have a lot of anxiety and issues since.

Those little things like weeds in the garden, emptying the small bins, cleaning a bit of dust, a spiders web.That has been some of my morning chores for some time now. It is not the same or rewarding!

Thank you @dunelm, I really do appreciate your post, I can feel your empathy and your experience of something similar!

My best wishes, and if I may call you mate?

Thanks @Lamont D. I washed my car earlier this week. Not a job I’m fond of and like a twit, knelt down to clean the wheels. Like a twit, because if I get down on my hands and knees, I can’t get back up unless I do some forward planning - the pain is excruciating. Luckily Mrs Miggins was in the garden and once we had both stopped laughing, she helped me up. To not dance when I have some physical capability and some mental capacity for hearing the music inside my head may be the biggest mistake in my life. The darkness inches closer but for now I can hold the black dog at bay. On a lighter note, for someone who has everything, buy them penicillin.

 

[dunelm]

Today is sufficient unto itself. Can't remember where that comes from but I do agree with the sentiment. I do plan for things in the future but I no longer worry about them. Getting through today relatively unscathed is enough. I've also heard that saying, Ian, about God not giving you more than you can bear. Not sure who said that either, but I haven't found it in any scripture, so I assume it is a man-made quotation; I don't think it is correct either - just a way of bolstering someone's buckling spirit. Not everyone is strong enough to carry on giving their all and we don't know the exact point where anyone will break - not even ourselves.

If we are called upon to take over the care of someone we love, planning for a future is difficult so we tend to lose control of our own lives to whatever the disease is that our loved one is suffering, be it mental, physical or spiritual, or even a combination of 2 or more. We love and we give our all, even if the loved one has forgotten that they love, or even who their carer is.

Like with our own illnesses, we need to take each day as it comes, get through it either with satisfaction or the knowledge that we didn't get it right and so vow to do better next day. Each day has to be a new start. The days before were only to be remembered for what we learned; the future might, or might not, happen so plan but don't worry. Today is where it's at.

3.45 am on this day BG started at 10.1. I clearly didn't get away with the frozen potato skins yesterday. So no more potato skins, frozen or otherwise. Legs bandaging day, but that will be a bit later - Neil has to get his next Covid jab so I had to change my appointment so that he could get me to the surgery. Gives me a more relaxing morning.

Just going to get my 4th cup of tea and then think about breakfast.

Hope the leg bandaging goes well - as well as it can.

 

[Annb]

I hope the leg bandaging goes smoothly. I reckon the bold aphorism is meant to be/comes from this. Peace be with you.

The original mentions evil, but the one I have come across doesn't. Obviously very similar to Matthew so it must be original source. Someone has just changed it a bit. Still makes sense.

 

[dunelm]

Good morning everyone on a splendidly breezy start to International Bin Day here in the dark and dangerous north. Washing is on the line taking advantage of some weak sunshine and I have booked flights to go and see my parents next month. It’s still quite hot in SW France they tell me so hopefully October will be cooler. Not a fan of very hot days -says he who worked in East Africa for a while delivering aid into South Sudan. Must be another one of those age things - humbug! Still have bees foraging in the garden on the roses and other plants that are hanging on to their flowers. Hollyhocks - we left all ours behind when we moved two years ago but MRs Miggins has spotted some on the way into town so we will gather some seeds to plant in the greenhouse and again next year - wonder what colours the flowers will be in this soil of ours? Art bit, mixed media it is. Hope your day is kind to you. My koffy has now been consumed.

 

[gennepher]

I was all ready to go out early this morning, shower, change of clothes. I turned around, my big bum, knocked my cup of coffee and double cream. It went all over my nice clean clothes, went all over my bedside table. It went on my bed, and what was the worst one it went over my pile of envelopes with the last two weeks of 2 sd cards (in each envelope) of videos from my trail cameras, which I've not had time to look at yet.

I don't have time to post and do my creative yet, I am trying to rescue all those sd cards...

I am telling myself this was the universe telling me not to go out this morning...and so has probably saved me from a worse disaster...

 

[gennepher]

Good morning everyone on a splendidly breezy start to International Bin Day here in the dark and dangerous north. Washing is on the line taking advantage of some weak sunshine and I have booked flights to go and see my parents next month. It’s still quite hot in SW France they tell me so hopefully October will be cooler. Not a fan of very hot days -says he who worked in East Africa for a while delivering aid into South Sudan. Must be another one of those age things - humbug! Still have bees foraging in the garden on the roses and other plants that are hanging on to their flowers. Hollyhocks - we left all ours behind when we moved two years ago but MRs Miggins has spotted some on the way into town so we will gather some seeds to plant in the greenhouse and again next year - wonder what colours the flowers will be in this soil of ours? Art bit, mixed media it is. Hope your day is kind to you. My koffy has now been consumed.

I very much like the way the art bit has worked out @dunelm
Have a good day.

 

[JohnEGreen]

6.6 this morning.

 

[Annb]

Good morning everyone on a splendidly breezy start to International Bin Day here in the dark and dangerous north. Washing is on the line taking advantage of some weak sunshine and I have booked flights to go and see my parents next month. It’s still quite hot in SW France they tell me so hopefully October will be cooler. Not a fan of very hot days -says he who worked in East Africa for a while delivering aid into South Sudan. Must be another one of those age things - humbug! Still have bees foraging in the garden on the roses and other plants that are hanging on to their flowers. Hollyhocks - we left all ours behind when we moved two years ago but MRs Miggins has spotted some on the way into town so we will gather some seeds to plant in the greenhouse and again next year - wonder what colours the flowers will be in this soil of ours? Art bit, mixed media it is. Hope your day is kind to you. My koffy has now been consumed.

It was intriguing and it does fulfill its promise. Great artwork.

 

[Annb]

I was all ready to go out early this morning, shower, change of clothes. I turned around, my big bum, knocked my cup of coffee and double cream. It went all over my nice clean clothes, went all over my bedside table. It went on my bed, and what was the worst one it went over my pile of envelopes with the last two weeks of 2 sd cards (in each envelope) of videos from my trail cameras, which I've not had time to look at yet.

I don't have time to post and do my creative yet, I am trying to rescue all those sd cards...

I am telling myself this was the universe telling me not to go out this morning...and so has probably saved me from a worse disaster...

Pity about the coffee going all over everything. I hope it's all salvageable. Have yourself an easy day after all the cleaning up. (And another cup of coffee.)

 

[gennepher]

Pity about the coffee going all over everything. I hope it's all salvageable. Have yourself an easy day after all the cleaning up. (And another cup of coffee.)

Thank you @Annb
I am still salvaging, it went over some other stuff as well...
The idea of coffee and cream are in the naughty corner.
It's tea for today...

 

[gennepher]

Fbg 6.7

I had moved to the front window because machinery noises at the back.
But there is a yappy dog at the front. Continuously yapping. It is setting off the other neighbourhood dogs...

I will have to play the radio right by the window. ... or take my sound processor off. But I need my sound processor on to do my wildlife video editing.

Right, where's my dog bark trainer....
It needs charging...
Ah, it can charge and work sending the signal at the same time...

Ahhhh....peace....

I hope the dog is just a visitor and not a permanent addition to one of my neighbours...


Wildlife camera.
Cat watches two badgers

Creative...
A photo of my pink fuchsia I call the ballet dancer fuchsia...

I am ready for a nap...

Have a cuppa tea c(_) or two c(_)

 

[ianpspurs]

Fbg 6.7

I had moved to the front window because machinery noises at the back.
But there is a yappy dog at the front. Continuously yapping. It is setting off the other neighbourhood dogs...

I will have to play the radio right by the window. ... or take my sound processor off. But I need my sound processor on to do my wildlife video editing.

Right, where's my dog bark trainer....
It needs charging...
Ah, it can charge and work sending the signal at the same time...

Ahhhh....peace....

I hope the dog is just a visitor and not a permanent addition to one of my neighbours...


Wildlife camera.
Cat watches two badgers

Creative...
A photo of my pink fuchsia I call the ballet dancer fuchsia...

I am ready for a nap...

Have a cuppa tea c(_) or two c(_)

View attachment 63149

Hug for the coffee spillage and noise issues. Thank you for sharing the photo. You take such wonderful photographs and I like fuschias. @dunelm thank you for sharing the art. As usual the colour transforms the piece. @Annb some versions of the bible translate evil to troubles - much more clear meaning.

 

[gennepher]

Hug for the coffee spillage and noise issues. Thank you for sharing the photo. You take such wonderful photographs and I like fuschias. @dunelm thank you for sharing the art. As usual the colour transforms the piece. @Annb some versions of the bible translate evil to troubles - much more clear meaning.

Thanks Ian...

 

[Lamont D]

5.7 this morning. Dog walk, shopping at ALDI, coffee and then perhaps one more coffee before starting admin.

We mentioned to someone that we loved shopping at ALDI and they said that they never shopped at ALDI because it didn't have enough aisles of junk food. Didn't know quite how to respond to that so thought it best to just smile and nod.

When you are hungry, nothing is junk!

The problem is how we are all deprived of the choice of what is nutritious for all of us! And of course, profit comes before life!