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“Don’t get too thin...”

Discussion in 'Weight Loss and Dieting' started by Andydragon, Dec 5, 2020.

  1. Andydragon

    Andydragon Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Not sure what I’m looking for from this post, I guess some support from like-minded people. I’ve shared this info before but just to cover...

    So I started dieting when the pandemic hit, started at probably 105kg with hna1c of 78. As of this morning (first thing out of bed and sans clothes, ahem) I am weighing in at 76.1kg and my last hba1c was 39. I’m off most of my drugs and aiming to reduce metformin soon

    I feel good mostly, nice to fit into medium sized clothes and I’m the lighted I have been in my adult life

    however, I am now getting comments along the line of stop losing weight, you’ll look too thin if you keep on.... my partner has started doing it too, I know he cares but it’s frustrating. As I’m also autistic I can appreciate I can get obsessive but I don’t think I am too far gone. I guess weighing every bit of food can look odd, but I try and explain that it’s the carb counting.

    I look in the mirror and can see I do look skinnier, but I still have a belly I’d like to lose, not too much to be fair, just enough to be as flat as possible (saggy skin depending). I know BMI is not everything but I could drop to 70kg and still be well in the right levels

    I don’t think I look too skinny. But could I be wrong?

    I know if my mother was still here she’d probably try and feed me lol
     
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  2. In Response

    In Response Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations on your amazing weight loss and HbA1C. You should be really proud of yourself.
    We get used to seeing people at certain weight and we get used to seeing the general population who are, on average, overweight so "the right weight" may look too thin but it is only in comparison.
    It is true that you can lose too much weight and that BMI is only a guide, but if, according to your BMI you could still lose some weight and you know you will be able to stop, perhaps you could ease off a bit but still aim for a target.
    Perhaps sharing your target with others such as your partner, they will understand, be supportive and help you not get too obsessed.

    Alternatively, if it is just your belly that you are concerned about, how about doing some focused exercise to reduce some of the wobble? Unlike dieting, the lovely thing about exercise is that we can be more focused on certain parts of our body. I know some of my friends have tried to diet to lose their belly and ended up with skinny legs but still a belly.
     
  3. LittleGreyCat

    LittleGreyCat Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Been there, done that, wearing a medium size T shirt.

    Oh, you don't say how tall you are.

    I am six foot (1.83 metres) and my weight fluctuates around 76 kilos.
    Best I have managed is around 73 kilos, but it was a struggle (I like food a bit too much).
    Most I have ever weighed is 92 kilos shortly before diagnosis.

    Friends and family were very worried when I dropped a lot of weight, I assume because I no longer looked like "me".
    That is, they were used to me being chunky so when I changed my body shape radically they were worried that I might be harming myself.
    They have now adjusted.

    One of the hardest things was donating my favourite clothes to charity because they no longer fitted.
    Coupled with the realisation that I had been that size for quite some time.
    It was irritating that some of may favourite clothes were no longer made!

    I was lucky enough to meet Professor Roy Taylor who said that a good target to aim for was your weight and waist measurement you had in your late teens.
    For me that was 11 stone 7 lbs and 32".
    Never quite made that, but got very close for a short while.
    The most important thing is to have a waist measurement half your height or less.
    Noting that you have lost a lot of weight but still have a bit of a belly, you may fall into the group where the first place you gain weight and the last place you lose it is in the belly, with visceral fat around your organs including your liver and pancreas.
    If so, welcome to the club.

    In summary, you are doing fine!!

    Your people will adjust to the new you over time and no longer worry.

    Hope that you hit your target.
     
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  4. bulkbiker

    bulkbiker Type 2 · Oracle

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    I've had that too (although not from hubby, he's been very supportive) but family and friends have all said "ooo maybe time to stop" but I'm not yet at the weight I want to be and still have an overweight BMI measure so I'll carry on.
    One thing I will say is that as soon as I had decided on my target weight I stopped losing almost immediately and have plateaued within a 10 pound range ever since.. 198-208 (I reckon its simply because I would love to be 180 pounds and my body just says no!).
    Keep up the great work.. it's your body so only you should decide what shape it gets into!
     
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  5. Andydragon

    Andydragon Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the comments, and I’m 180cm, 76.1 kg
    Or 5foot 11 approx 12stone

    so I can see that in my body I do look slimmer on the top, so chest and face etc. But my stomach and particularly my thighs are still quite big in my opinion. So I had an aim of 70kg (11stone) but am also going to go to the gym with a trainer to focus on getting some bulk to address, sorry to be blunt, but my saggy stomach and behind so perfectly possibly I stabilise or put some on

    but it is my body and the comments mostly are coming from a place of caring I’m sure but it gets frustrating sometimes. I guess I wanted some feedback that others get the same. So thank you all!

    Target of late teens weight is a bad idea as I was a chubby kid. My parents were the boil veg to mush and deep fry everything school of cooking. Still prefer less al dente veg even now :)
     
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  6. DCUKMod

    DCUKMod I reversed my Type 2 · Master
    Staff Member Administrator

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    @Andydragon - I'm a small, slight person. When diagnosed I had luuuurve handles, but I didn't carry lots of excess weight. I have no idea what I weighed at diagnosis as I wasn't weighed, and for reasons I'll spare you, I didn't weigh myself for about 3 months. My first weigh-in, post diagnosis was in a really old fashioned hardware store in St Johns, Antigua. I just saw some mechanical scales on the shelf and decided to road test them. :)

    My full focus, post-diagnosis was to get my blood sugars into range. I had no real motivation to lose weight, however, along the way, I did lose weight, to end up as slim as I am. Like most having lost weight, feedback was mixed.

    I'm happy enough where I ended up, although looking back, there are a couple of things I would have done differently, and I'll share those with you, to into your mental melting pot.

    Firstly, decide what you believe to be your comfortable running weight. I don't mean running in the context of lycra and trainers, I mean running from a longer term, day to day weight, you can maintain without torture of risking your health. I would also suggest that your "running weight" isn't a hard figure, but that is is a figure, + or - a margin you decide upon. I'd suggest about 2kg either way, so that you aren't constantly tweaking - especially in the earlier days.

    Secondly, I would urge you, to think how you will stall your weightloss, then go on to maintain it in your personal range. For many, weight loss is easy, but maintaining a whole different ball game

    It took me several weeks to stall my own weight loss, with three different interventions coming into play. I can't recall which order I did it, but it went something like, increasing portion sizes a bit, overall. After that, adding additional nuts. And eventually (I think) it was adding the additional cheese that levelled me out.

    However, the impact of those shenanigans was that I ended up over-shooting my initial target weight, so am even slimmer than my initially desired stall point.

    Thirdly, please do not be overly influenced by whether you still have a bit of a tummy or not. Our bodies lose (and gain!) weight where we least want it to. So, for my, my lady-bumps got a good deal smaller, and initially so did my limbs. I wasn't thrilled, but decided it was what it was for a while, so I'd best suck it up.

    But, here's the rub, over time, my body sort of sorted itself out, almost redistributing my assets.

    So, in all of that, to summarise, I'd urge you to look to stall your weight loss before you reach your goal. If your stall is successful, you can always trim a bit more later, but the prospect of trying to put weight on simply didn't appeal to me. The last thing I wanted to do was end up yo-yo eating, just to keep myself stable. That would be purgatory to me.

    And finally, in time people get used to the new you. People no longer comment on what I might or might not weigh, or whether I got too think or not thin enough. The new you quickly becomes just you.

    You are the one living in your skin.
     
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  7. Circuspony

    Circuspony Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I sometimes think people get jealous when they watch friends and family losing weight! My OH has spent most of his life overweight but when diabetes forces me to cut down on carbs he ate the same and the kg have dropped off.

    Every time we see his mother she makes remarks about it and tries to stuff him with cakes. Why????
     
  8. KK123

    KK123 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Obviously you need to make sure you don't go too thin but I suspect people are saying that because they are used to seeing you bigger.
     
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  9. Resurgam

    Resurgam Type 2 (in remission!) · Expert

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    I think that people are so used to the way a modern diet affects weight that normal looks too thin.
    I am 5ft 5inches and used to weigh 147lb, 10stone 7 lb, but I was very muscular and had a 24 inch waist. That was before the 'eat cereal or porridge for breakfast, with skimmed milk, or toast with low fat spread' started. I could swing by my arms across the horizontal ladder in the local park. I did diet down to just over 9 stone at one time, eating only meat, but was told I was in imminent danger of dying due to the lack of carbs. I was, however, faster, and stronger, and used to take the Labrador dog far enough to tire him out and get him very fit indeed.
    Perhaps going by how you feel is the best idea?
     
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  10. NicoleC1971

    NicoleC1971 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Something to bear in mind is that most people in the UK are overweight. It is possible that if you went back to the 60s or 70s you would look average.
    Google images will demonstrate my point.
    As long as you are feeling well with a good hba1c I would take these comments as coming from people who may feel self conscious of their own weight.
    Losing weight doesn't cure body insecurity in my opinion so try and be accepting of what you now have - good metabolic health.
     
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  11. MrsA2

    MrsA2 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Funnily enough Andydragon, I had exactly those comments from 2 people yesterday. Which they then followed up by asking how I did it and asking for details so they could go low carb too! So yes jealously and curiosity have large parts to play in it.
    I'm not bothered which weight I go to, I just want to maintain healthy blood sugar levels. My weight did drop rapidly but is now much slower. Id like to lose the last bits of fat on my tummy and thighs but know that isn't really the main thing, bgs are, and finding something that is sustainable for life.
    It only matters how you feel, and your bg.
    I can understand your partners concern if you are weighing everything as that could look obsessive. Maybe ease up on the weighing food would be good as you will have learned much of it by now and it will be more relaxed to do it by eye. Just keep monitoring the bg and weighing yourself no more than fortnightly.
    It sounds like you have this way of eating cracked and now just need to show you are relaxed with it.
     
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  12. MrsA2

    MrsA2 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    PS Mum would feed you no matter what weight you are, big or small, it's what Mums do... trust me I am one!
     
  13. LaoDan

    LaoDan Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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  14. rosemaree

    rosemaree Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hey @Andydragon,

    I've had a similar experience. I have issues trusting people though, so always felt like they were faulty comments. I had lost a lot of weight before being diagnosed, but then really knuckled down with diet and exercise and lost a bit quicker. At my lowest I was still borderline overweight and felt quite tubby. Pretty much every person had to comment on how thin I was and how I must not lose any more weight. Some of them carried on about it so much I actually started avoiding them altogether - when I think about it now, everyone who made such a scene had been wanting to lose weight themselves. If I said anything back I would usually get a response that they just care, but they only seemed to care when I was losing weight and getting healthy, not when I was massively depressed, morbidly obese and battling an eating disorder (I used to tell people I was depressed and that I had a problem with sugar/food almost as a plea for help, so it is not that they didn't know).

    My partner has been quite the opposite though, he is freakishly quiet about all of it, and makes out like he doesn't really notice. At most I now get a raised eyebrow and "are you allowed to eat that" when I reach for comfort food after being triggered/stressed.

    I have also had a few people that don't know me too well comment that I look good, and then proceed to quiz me on what illness I must have to have achieved this :banghead:

    My diet went haywire with lock down, and I have put on quite a lot of weight (although I feel a bit stronger for it). I have avoided people for the most part but have been dreading seeing them during the festive season because of what they might say (to my face and behind my back). I really wish it wouldn't bug me and I could just focus on feeling good and healthy.

    In terms of feeling obsessive, when I was at my lowest weight I started feeling a little crazy and recognised a lot of feelings I had with the eating disorder. I tried to get some help for it, but was always told that whatever I was doing was working, so why change. That didn't help, and not being able to address those feelings was part of the reason I got derailed in the first place. I did at one stage weigh everything, but it made me feel too obsessed, so I used to try and find alternative to weighing - like knowing that so many grams of something was equivalent to about half a cup - that helped a bit.

    For the most part I think it is really important to go with how you feel, you know yourself best! You are aware that you can be a bit obsessive, so if weighing you food starts feeling more important than the reason why (gaining control of your health) you can maybe take some steps to change that. Also, your goal weight shouldn't be dependent on a number but rather feeling fit, healthy and strong!

    Well done on all you have achieved, and good luck going forward :cat:
     
  15. TeddyTottie

    TeddyTottie Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Yep, I reckon it’s two things. First is definitely sour grapes from people who would like to lose weight themselves and feel almost offended that I have lost so much weight in such a short time, and apparently with so little effort.

    The other is.... to be totally honest, I look older now that I don’t have all that fat plumping up my face and ironing out the normal wrinkles that come with age. And because I don’t want to replace my entire wardrobe all at once, I often wear tops that are too big and hang on me, not necessarily in a good way. Prior to losing weight everyone thought I was at least 10 years younger than my age. Now, I look about my age. For people who are accustomed to the old me, they tend to equate that with looking a bit tired and peaky. So a justifiable concern from some folk, I think.
     
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