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A Tiny Whinge

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Outlier

Well-Known Member
Bear with me. I do try not to whinge.

Here I am very happy with now-normal BG and weight loss through four clothes sizes, all due to keto/low carb and the support from you lot (thanks ever so).

And apart from no medic has even SEEN me since original diagnosis 2 and a half years ago, nor asked what I have done to get here - people I know who have seen the new me refuse to believe it's all down to diet, and give me that funny look before telling me I have either had gastric sleeve surgery or else am on injectables.

There is nothing to criticise about those lifelines - whatever works is good - but how I wish I could have some acknowledgement of what I (and you) have actually done. It could help so many others.
 
Have a big well done from me @Outlier - I know exactly what you mean, as someone who lost over 11st and went down from a women’s size tight 32 to a 16/18 and managed to keep it off for almost 12 years I still get the you must be doing more than your saying, etc comments. Just smile proudly and say nothing
 
Odd, isn't it? I haven't seen a GP since 2019, and the DN at my practice refers to me as their "star pupil" for weightloss and BG control. But do they advise other T2s registered at the practice to do what has worked for me? They do not, apparently.

Edit - I object to being described as a "star pupil" as that implies the practice taught me something about controlling my BG.
 
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I wonder why people think it is an ok topic to comment on my weight, whether that be loss or gain.

When I lost 49kg, casual aquaintances were curious and asked some very personal questions. My response after a while became ‘ I only discuss such personal and medical issues with my medical team, and my loved ones’. Any that persisted in questioning were told “I am not sure you have understood that this is not something I wish to discuss with you”. If that didn’t work it escalated to “Mind your own business!” That usually worked. If not I resorted to expletives. Not able to repeat here. I figure anyone so rude as to not get the message deserved rude response.
 
I try to convince myself that I'm leading by example
But I still get those who listen carefully and then say "but I could never give up bread/cakes/sugar" and they believe themselves more than the evidence in front of them.

@Outlier I gave you an "agree" but it really should be a "winner" with its big shiny trophy. Maybe those on the outside don't recognise or appreciate your efforts and success, but we here, in your tribe, do 100%
 
I have seen a nurse (for my annual foot check) every year since going Low Carb and gaining 'normal' BG levels and then official remission. But have only seen a doctor about it once in that time.
Th doctor showed no interest in what I'd done (not surprising since the Diabetes specialist at the surgery had advised me to do Newcastle despite m being a slim T2D and before that had advised a low fat high carb way of eating for heart health (before both my 3x CAB and my T2D).
The nurses had a bit more time and claimed that I was unique at that surgery and that nobody else could possibly stick to Low Carb. I always suggest that it may help if they actually told other patients about my success!
Edit:
Oops, just realised this is the weightloss sub-forum so I should say that I did lose weight whilst fixing my Hba1C. At diagnosis I weighed 12st 3lbs (171lbs) and went down to 10st 0lbs (140 lbs) before adding more cheese and eggs in order to gain a few more pounds
 
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My surgery didn’t have a diabetes nurse for the first few years after my diagnosis, so my F/Us were with my GP. At my first appt, he expressed amazement at my improvement in HbA1c and my substantial weight loss, but didn’t ask how I’d done it! I wasn’t letting that pass by and asked, “can I tell you how I did it?” He didn’t pass much comment, I think he didn’t know much about low carb eating to be honest! At subsequent reviews with him and then the newly appointed diabetes nurse, they just said oh you’re the one who eats low carb!
 
I remember before true diagnosis, that my surgery (quite a number of GP's) kept telling me that my weight gain was because I was eating junk and my diabetes was because of I wasn't eating their recommended eat well diet.
When I was!
When I lost my six stone when I started eating low carb, they still insisted, but my explanation fell on deaf ears, until my endocrinologist wrote a letter about a number of things which included the success I had had with being in control.
What others think I don't care!
Except you lot of course!!!!
 
Would you be equally offended if they commented on a change of hair style or colour? Is there a reason why “I changed my diet/resolved a health issue” wasn’t an appropriate, vague and non personal reply? People are interested in drastic changes. 49kg is huge and no wonder it was noticed. (Amazingly well done btw). It’s human nature to my way of seeing things. Is that really insulting or intrusive? Some seek information to inspire them to do likewise, and to give a little information is helpful. Obviously people should respect your boundaries and refusing to take no for an answer once told directly deserves increasingly blunt answers. Ironically I too find it a little defensive and quite frankly extreme (to my way of thinking) that you feel ANY questions at all are overstepping boundaries, in a similar way to those asking you in person that upset you so much.

NB no actual questions intended here to be intrusive, they are hypothetical (nor reply expected as to your reasons). More trying to offer an insight into why people ask you about things you feel they shouldn’t. I genuinely see it as interest rather than rudeness in most cases, at least initially.
 
I am also annoyed by the comments on weight loss. Only a few people asked if I was okay and if the weight loss was intentional or due to ill health. Those who asked either had shared with me their history of an earring disorder or had a medical education.
 
Who said I was offended? I was annoyed with those who were intrusive.
I only regarded it as rude of them when they continued with comments after I had expressed that I did not want to discuss it. Why should they have a right to my personal information? Especially those people I don’t know very well. Not all of the comments I received were compliments. Very often there was an addendum to an enquiry, such as “ you still have weight to lose, so are you going to keep going, or give up”. Or “ Most people regain the weight”.
If people were genuinely asking about my health, fair enough. Not one was, it was all about how they thought how I looked.
 
I agree with both of you.
My late mum had two sisters, and I love both of them very much.

One of them throughout my whole life has subtly made it felt how she felt about my weight, and I always feel judged when I see her. I know that when she sees me, one of the first things she looks at is how fat I am and thinks something about this, even though she likely doesn't realise this herself, and she loves me very much.
The other one doesn't care about my weight, except that she's happy with me when I recently shared I lost a couple of pounds, She doesn't have that scrutinising look.

Therefore, the second aunt is perfectly welcome to discuss weight with me, while I have no intention whatsoever to tell the first one I lost a little.

That first aunt has no idea how much harm she's caused with the way she approached me and my weight from a very young age, even though I'm quite sure she has no idea at all that her way of looking at me has made me ashamed of my body for a very long time. It really was very subtle, and she definitely meant no harm at all.
 
@Antje77
I had an aunt like your first one too. It was she who got me hooked on calorie counting which only served to make things worse long-term. As I got older she wasn't so subtle. Thanks for posting, you have helped me more than you can know.
 
I love it when friends and relatives notice my 4st weight loss but when they ask how I did it and I explain keto and what the diet is, they then tell me that’s not health and I’ll be ill, then I get annoyed with them. Funny how they didn’t comment when I was eating fish and chip, pizza and cake!
 
zand said:
@Antje77
I had an aunt like your first one too. It was she who got me hooked on calorie counting which only served to make things worse long-term. As I got older she wasn't so subtle. Thanks for posting, you have helped me more than you can know.
Click to expand...
I am having a ‘me too moment’.
When I was young, I wasn’t brave enough to answer back. Next generation, I made sure my daughter had the courage to call out any sort of body shaming comments.
 
Pipp said:
I am having a ‘me too moment’.
When I was young, I wasn’t brave enough to answer back. Next generation, I made sure my daughter had the courage to call out any sort of body shaming comments.
Click to expand...
I remember one incident on a beach when I was 14 and wearing a bikini. I was slim, but pear shaped. A young woman in her early 20s walked past us and afterwards my aunt told me to walk away from where we were sitting, she then called me back and said she had wanted to make sure my bottom wasn't as big as that woman's. The woman in question wasn't even fat but was tall and bigger boned. I mean, honestly, why would you do that?? What if it was bigger? It didn't really matter, did it?
 
Perhaps their a bit jealous that you did it and they can't , just think of yourself as an inspiration to others .
 
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