Hi
@lucylocket61 .
Hugs for all the worries.
Never easy to set a busy mind to rest.
Lots of sensible advice above.
Two things from me.
Had to have PTSD counselling.
Rather upsetting rehashing the moment
One thing I was asked to do was to 'calm & centre myself' after any breakdown during a session.
We stopped as I gathered myself .
I was then asked to ...
Sit still
Close my eyes
Breathe in a calm controlled fashion.
And concentrate.
Then describe out loud.
5 sensations I could feel.
(Shoes on my feet, warmth through the window, breeze from doorway, type things.)
5 things I could smell.
(A piece of toast, the tea in front of me, the aftershave I put on earlier)
And 5 things I could hear.
(The birds in the trees, a leaf blower, a jet plane flying above)
All that took a little while.
And all that had my mind focused on the tasks not the trauma.
And after just those few minutes I felt calmer & more in control of myself.
Living in the 'now' I think it's referred to.
I felt very calm, especially when I was listening.
All my sensations felt heightened, though it's more then likely they weren't
I was just taking time to notice, them better.
I still use it when I get such intrusive thoughts
For my 2nd offering
I have always believed tears are protection & a poison.
The tears are there so we can leak out the pain inside that otherwise builds up into an uncontrolled explosion of some sorts....
So they are very protective for us.
The poison parts is where those who can't or suppress that emotional outlet .
It corrodes us emotionally until it comes out at some point
Better to manage the release, then bottle it up and await the 'explosion' later on.
So crying is GOOD.
Now add to that , you, me,we, everyone goes into battle in many ways in life.
Yours is specific at the moment .
Maybe see the tears as positive ?
Because at this moment in time you're preparing for the next part of your battle.
Unlike many, you've now managed to unburdened yourself of the tears, like a boxer limbering up on way to the ring or once in the ring taking off their robe.
You're now preparing for the fight.
To do battle with the visit, the anxiety, the unknown outcome.
Those tears and their release are your bodies way of shedding emotional weight, and maybe allowing You the best opportunity to handle yourself, however the visit goes, to the best of your ability.
So tears ?..so blooming normal.
Not ashamed to say I cried.
So you have my empathy & respect for how well you're handling this...even if at time you think you aren't ....( ps..You ARE )
Best wishes the path ahead eases soon.