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getting back on the wagon

Discussion in 'Diabetes Discussions' started by lucylocket61, Nov 8, 2019.

  1. lucylocket61

    lucylocket61 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Please dont use this thread to tell me off, I know i have stuffed up.

    Five weeks ago my father died suddenly. Last week I had to have my cat put to sleep, he was 19 years old.

    I cant stop eating for the past week. All the things I shouldnt eat. Eating and eating. I know I am eating my feelings, and not addressing them, but I am in a loop now and need some ideas to get stop this and deal with my emotions in a constructive way.I have no access to any counselling and have at least another 11 months to go on the waiting list for cbt.

    On top of this, I have been prescribed metformin SR for my PCOS. I feel like a failure for having to resort to meds.

    Basically, I am in a mess and need some constructive advice please.
     
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  2. Marie 2

    Marie 2 LADA · Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry to hear about your losses. That's a lot to go through and could make anyone a mess. I find that having an outlet for emotions really helps. I used to get on my trampoline and cry as I needed but run my heart out. It was just a way to let go of some of that grief.
     
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  3. Goonergal

    Goonergal Type 2 · Moderator
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    Sorry to hear this @lucylocket61 and condolences for the loss of two loved ones.

    Please don’t beat yourself up or see the use of medication as failure. It’s quite understandable to revert to old patterns/use food as a crutch in such circumstances and breaking the cycle can be enormously difficult. You’ll know yourself best, but for me, not having the offending foods in the house can help (I live alone, so easier than for those who have others to consider) as it then requires more effort to consume things I don’t really want/need.

    Do you have someone you can chat to about your emotions (other than a counsellor)? That could be helpful.
     
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  4. Mike d

    Mike d Type 2 · Expert

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    You wouldn't be human if you didn't experience those emotions. They hurt. They haunt. Life's (sometimes less than) rich pageant. Talk to someone
     
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  5. lucylocket61

    lucylocket61 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    OK, thats two people who have suggested I talk to someone. Who do I talk to?

    due to my home situation, there is no-one here I can talk to and I have a pretty isolated life.
     
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  6. Mike d

    Mike d Type 2 · Expert

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    You have no other relatives? Folks that attended your father's funeral maybe?
     
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  7. lucylocket61

    lucylocket61 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I am not going into it but no, I am alone.
     
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  8. DCUKMod

    DCUKMod I reversed my Type 2 · Master
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    Oh @lucylocket61 - I'm so sorry to hear your news. I can't imagine how you feel.

    Be gentle with yourself. When things feel out of control, we often control the things we can, and a fundamental of that is food. For some it can mean fasting and for others it can mean the opposite.

    I would often suggest you consider calling the CRUSE bereavement helpline, but unfortunately they don't operate weekends. Such a shame. Feeling bereft isn't a Mon-Friday thing.

    Sending you a hug and a hand to hold.
     
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  9. Rachox

    Rachox Type 2 (in remission!) · Moderator
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    So sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time @lucylocket61 , I agree with @DCUKMod about talking on the phone to someone if you have no one to talk with at home. If you feel the need to talk before you can contact CRUSE how about the Samaritans, open 24 hours a day, every day?:
    https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/support-and-information/if-youre-having-difficult-time/
    I sincerely hope you can find some support to help you get through this. All the best with whatever you decide to do x
     
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  10. Hotpepper20000

    Hotpepper20000 · Well-Known Member

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    @lucylocket61 your kindness shows in all your posts here. I’m sorry you are going through such a struggle. You are not alone. You have this forum. Someone is always here.
    Having to take metformin is not a failure. PCOS is a horrible condition. And metformin does help.
     
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  11. mouseee

    mouseee · Well-Known Member

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    You're having a rough time.
    You're not resorting to medication you're using something that can help you. If you had a broken leg you wouldn't feel guilty about having a cast.

    We all need things to help us get through. I am an emotional eater. I always have been. It's really hard. You may actually find the metformin helps with that a bit. It can suppress hunger. I know that doesn't help stop the scoffing things you shouldn't but you may find it helps when you are more in control.
     
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  12. VashtiB

    VashtiB Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi Lucylocket- you have had such a bad time. Two losses in such a short period.

    You have said that you are pretty isolated which must only make your losses worse. I'm in Australia so don't know what the resources are like where you live. I'm so sorry that there is such a long period of time for the things you mentioned to be available.

    I agree with those that have said to talk to someone. Here in Oz we have phone lines like life line and beyond blue- are things like that available to you? I agree not ideal but maybe enough to help until a better resource is available.

    If not are you a writer- sometime just writing out how you feel can help. Sometimes a walk can help but for me that definitely depends on the surroundings and the weather- cold and dark will not help.

    I am sorry about the loss of your cat- I have cats and it is amazing how much company they are. He was obviously well looked after to live to such a ripe old age.

    Like a pre ious person I agree that your kindness comes across in your posts. You obviously have a kind heart.

    Don't beat yourself up at all- as people say this is a marathon not a sprint. I've posted before about the spoon theory and I really think that applies to living with diabetes. Some days it is so much harder than others to eat what you know you should.

    Take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Your posts have been kind and gentle to others so make sure you extend it to yourself

    Best wishes for such a tough time.
     
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  13. Brunneria

    Brunneria Other · Moderator
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    Lucy, I am very sorry. Losing people we love rocks us to our core, and it takes a long time til we return to an even keel.

    please be gentle with yourself.

    and as a minor point compared with everything else you are dealing with, please don’t see the Metformin prescription as a failure. It really isn’t. As someone who also has pcos I wish I could get a prescription for Metformin.
     
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  14. Antje77

    Antje77 LADA · Moderator
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    Oh my, Lucy, I'm so sorry!
    I don't have much constructive advice to give, except to give yourself time. It will get better, honestly.
    Just wondering, has it occurred to you that the feeling like a failure about meds could be due more to feeling horrible in general and misdirecting that than because of failing?
    Losing loved ones and feeling lost does mess with emotions big time, and usually not in a very logical way.

    Nothing wrong with needing medication now if it helps (sounds like something you would say to others in this situation, I think). You'll find room to work on diabetes related things again and maybe get rid of the medication again but right now you're obviously working on other things and one can only do so much work.

    Wish you lived closer, I'd come over to cook dinner together and fill your freezer with good meals for a week and then we'd play a silly board game.

    Have a very big hug, Lucy!

    [​IMG]
     
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  15. ziggy_w

    ziggy_w Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi @lucylocket61,

    I'm so, so very sorry for your losses. This is really a very rough time you are going through.

    So, please don't be so hard on yourself. We are human beings and not machines, so none of us will be perfect all of the time ... especially at a time like this.

    Would love to give you a huge hug, so sorry I am too far away.

    What to advice? This is difficult. There is the hurt, which will take a while. I also assume from your post that some of your eating has included carbs (please forgive me if I read this wrong), which we all know can be addictive and make us feel worse because they can put us on blood sugar roller coaster.

    When I feel bad, it often helps to have a big ole cry, no holds barred, feeling really sorry for myself. It helps me to get some of the pent up feelings out.

    As to the food, could you try to start with just one meal, you feel good about?

    As others have already pointed out taking metformin is not a failure. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have been such an inspiration to all of us.
     
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  16. Jim Lahey

    Jim Lahey I reversed my Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Condolences on your sad losses. I'm about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike when it comes to offering emotional counsel, but have you tried practicing meditation? It's very therapeutic and can often help one see life's events through a fresh lens. Try to be kind to your mind. Then, from a diabetes perspective, pick yourself up, dust yourself down get and back in the saddle. It's never too late to make improvements. In the meantime where better to have a chatter among kindred spirits?

    Good luck with everything.
     
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  17. JoKalsbeek

    JoKalsbeek Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry for your losses... *big hug*

    I fell off the wagon when our cat was put to sleep two weeks ago, that was hard enough. I can't imagine losing a parent as well in such a short time span, so no, I'm not surprised you fell off the wagon too, and can't imagine anyone here having the gall to tell you off. (They'd be told off in turn, I'm sure!). They always say life happens. Well, death happens too, and the ones remaining behind are left to deal with the repercussions in whatever way we can. And sometimes that's eating, because there isn't a quick fix for grief, healing from losses takes time, far as it is possible to begin with (I feel we incorporate the loss, rather than "get over it". It just becomes part of who we are somehow). Even if something doesn't fix what we're feeling, it at least means we're doing something, be it constructive or not, because we feel powerless and overwhelmed and hey... Food! So do give yourself a break here eh. Every day is a new day, and you can get back on the wagon every time you open your eyes in the morning. If it doesn't work because pain is too big right now, then hey, you get another morning the day after. Just keep trying, and don't give up on yourself. And ditch the high carb food, just toss it out or give it to the food bank... Stock up on low carb, bindgeworthy things. (That helped me this past week, otherwise my husband's chocolate stash would be completely gone now. And he has a lot.)

    Should you talk to someone? Probably. A professional? Maybe. But there's quite a few folks here who know what it's like to be in your shoes (diet/diabetes wise), so you can always connect with someone here, I'm sure. (If typing counts as talking). I live a pretty isolated life myself, because people are just plain difficult, so I do get there sometimes is just no-one around you can talk to who actually understands.

    As for the PCOS, well... It's not a faillure to take metformin. If you need it to get it licked, take it. There's no shame in needing medication. My thyroid's busted, should I feel shame for supplementing the hormones so I can breathe, and don't get cancer? Would you tell anyone here who needs metformin to tackle something, that they should go sit in a corner and contemplate their sins? I doubt it. ;)

    Be gentle with yourself and stock up on cheese and pork scratchings.
    *HUGS*
    Jo
     
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  18. Diakat

    Diakat Type 1 · Moderator
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    Lucy sweetheart, you are not a failure, you are human with a body that has let you down and you are hurting.
    It will take a long time to move on, to work through the grief. For me it took over a year when three family members died within four months, and over a decade later I still cry for them. But that’s a sign to me of how much love they gave.
    So be gentle with yourself, do what you can when you can. Talk to members here, PM someone you connect with, call the helpline when you can and slowly things will feel a bit less awful.
     
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  19. zand

    zand Type 2 · Expert

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    Oh Lucy so sorry to hear this. Please don't beat yourself up re diet- this is such a tough time for you. Thinking of you x hugs x
     
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  20. lucylocket61

    lucylocket61 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I had forgotten about Samaritans. I can call them. Thank you, and for the general comments too xxx
     
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