getting back on the wagon

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your father and then on top of that, your cat. My cats are my 'children' and I really struggle to cope when they're poorly, let alone lose one. I really feel for you {{{Hugs}}}

You're certainly not a failure, you a human with emotions and you clearly loved them so life will feels it's a 'bummer' just now but, as already mentioned above, things WILL feel better so please feel some hope.

You've clearly got lots of support on here so I hope you can feel the hugs etc. You'll come through OK but it's not a nice road, eh {{{Hugs}}}

lucylocket61 said:

OK, thats two people who have suggested I talk to someone. Who do I talk to?

due to my home situation, there is no-one here I can talk to and I have a pretty isolated life.

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Keep talking to the people here. I don't talk to people in my physical world for many reasons, but if I'm having trouble with feelings or thoughts I keep a diary and write to the person I will be in one week. Then in the future I reread what I wrote and answer myself. I get into conversations with myself until eventually enough time has slipped by to soften my hard feelings and new problems take over.

Your signature says it all

lucylocket61 said:

Please dont use this thread to tell me off, I know i have stuffed up.

Five weeks ago my father died suddenly. Last week I had to have my cat put to sleep, he was 19 years old.

I cant stop eating for the past week. All the things I shouldnt eat. Eating and eating. I know I am eating my feelings, and not addressing them, but I am in a loop now and need some ideas to get stop this and deal with my emotions in a constructive way.I have no access to any counselling and have at least another 11 months to go on the waiting list for cbt.

On top of this, I have been prescribed metformin SR for my PCOS. I feel like a failure for having to resort to meds.

Basically, I am in a mess and need some constructive advice please.

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Sorry for your losses @lucylocket61 sending big hugs xx

I am late to this thread, and so pleased you are being proactive in climbing back on the wagon. You have won the first stage. Baby steps - the bereavement group is a splendid idea, and so is your bowl of tuna salad and mayo. Enjoy it.

Sending you hugs for all you have gone through. xx

lucylocket61 said:

Thank you all again.

I managed to not eat any rubbish yesterday, and will try again today too. The carb cravings are strong, so I will keep coming back and read this thread x

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lucylocket61 said:

Today is going better. I have a back-up plan of a big bowl of mixed salad and tuna, with full fat mayo if the munchies get the better of me.

I have also found a bereavement group which I can get to, so have emailed the organiser.

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That’s excellent news. Hoping that you find the bereavement group helpful.

This is a wonderful start, @lucylocket61. Brilliant achievement. Agree with @Bluetit1892, it's baby steps that'll do it. Don't worry too much if you should happen to lapse. The pain is still fresh. Just make your next meal choice a better one again. Also really like your idea of having the back-up plan of mixed salad, tuna and mayo in place. This should help tremendously.

Also glad for you that you found a bereavement group.

If you feel up to it, perhaps you could contact the cats protection league or the RSPCA and ask if they have a cat in need of a home. Often kittens are chosen for 'adoption' rather than an adult, and coming up to Christmas there is a tendency for space to be made for all the unwanted Christmas presents. If there is a cat shaped space in your life, now would be a good time to fill it.

lucylocket61 said:

Please dont use this thread to tell me off, I know i have stuffed up.

Five weeks ago my father died suddenly. Last week I had to have my cat put to sleep, he was 19 years old.

I cant stop eating for the past week. All the things I shouldnt eat. Eating and eating. I know I am eating my feelings, and not addressing them, but I am in a loop now and need some ideas to get stop this and deal with my emotions in a constructive way.I have no access to any counselling and have at least another 11 months to go on the waiting list for cbt.

On top of this, I have been prescribed metformin SR for my PCOS. I feel like a failure for having to resort to meds.

Basically, I am in a mess and need some constructive advice please.

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Dear LucyLocket61.

I've just come across your post and my heart goes out to you. On top of the loss of your father and your beloved cat you have to deal with coping with diabetes. It's not easy! So don't beat yourself up about it. A matter of months ago I was told that I was pre-diabetic and I'm struggling with it day-to-day although I've been into healthy eating since I was twenty-six, but it can be done, it has to be done. Your mind is bombarded with thoughts of your father and your cat, and then on top all this you have to worry about what to eat for the next meal.

I'm no expert, but if I were you I'd buy in bags of prepared baby lettuce leaves, cucumber, Spanish onion, tomatoes (not too many), cooked meats, so you can quickly throw together a meal when you are hungry. Buy in chicken, chops, mince, fish, and vegetables that grow above ground such as spinach, cabbage, courgettes. Root vegetables such as carrots, potatoes, etc contain a lot more carbs. Steam the vegetables for approximately twenty minutes or so, at the same time as frying your chicken/chops, and voila you have a diabetic friendly meal. Have a couple of boiled eggs for breakfast, or scramble them, or eggs, bacon, and mushrooms.

A while ago I lost my beloved chocolate point Siamese, and I loved him unconditionally, so I know where you are coming from. One contributor suggested that you contact the Cats Protection Society. I'm sure there that you'll find a cat in need of your care and love to fill that empty void you now have.

Love and best wishes.

@Lucylocket, a big cyber hug from me to try to comfort you a little. Two losses in a short while is so hard to bear..

A piece of advice I was given several times by other dog lovers when I broke my heart after I had the awful task of putting my first very much loved dog to sleep, was to grieve his loss with another puppy in my arms. It sounds rather callous as it's never possible to replace a much loved pet, specially one who has been with you as long as your beloved cat, and I certainly didn't believe them at first, but I discovered that it can and does help - there's still room in your heart for a new little kitten, and the act of caring for him will (hopefully) help fill some of that awful emptiness in your life.

Robbity

ETA I see that @Gracie204 has made a similar suggestion...

I think we are all different in how respond to grief, and posts above have given a range of helpful and kind responses. I think for some people, getting a new cat is a good idea. However some will respond differently. We are cat lovers, and when I had to have my 17 year old cat put down after owning her since she was a kitten, I didn’t feel ready to rush out for a ‘replacement’. After some months or a year we did feel ready and fell in love with two kittens- we have now had them for 13 years.

I think @lucylocket61 you will know when it feels right. My sympathies go with you, and you have my admiration for the steps you have already taken

Just came across you post @lucylocket61

So sorry for the loss.

To do all that AND try to balance your diet..Not really do-able at the moment, imho.
all you can do is exactly what you are doing, day by day, and having in GOOD food choices for the times you DO
feel up to tackling the issue.

Took me ages to get over the loss of my dad.
not really a day goes by without thinking of him & mum.
and that is just coming up to ten years ago.

The truth is it will take ages to get to any sort of ground where life feels normal again.
but you will get there in time.


We lost our beloved cat last year, after 14 happy years together.
so i do get the loss of that can be felt keenly, hugs for the difficult times your facing.

Some one posted that each day we get a fresh start, and that is so true
on so many levels.

Took me a while to spot any improvements, but i'd notice i hadn't spent the entire day mourning,
or that yesterday there were moments i felt OK, ...and that was not something i should be ashamed of,

No one we mourn wants us to be miserable forever after their parting.
They spent all their lives loving us and putting our needs before theirs.
Wouldn't their best wishes for us be to mourn, remember me, but move on, take good care of yourself AND and Go and enjoy YOUR life to the Fullest.

That's the best way to truly honour those we lost, cherishing the life and opportunities they gave us,
and being the best WE can be.

Today may not be that day, and it may not be next week either
So just take the time out, take the Meds, and bit by bit both will make you stronger and more able to face the days ahead,.......WHEN you are ready..

You may, just like i did have to look back to see the slow improvements, but they will definitely be there.

Best regards.