Giving Up

[mist]

I feel so tired, I don't think I have any more fight in me. I just want to close my eyes and let go.

 

[donnellysdogs]

Don't do that @mist. Life will improve, honest. What's causing these thoughts, anything specific that we can offer advice with? Or are you fed up of advice too?

 

[asparagusp]

Bumpty Bump the thread!

 

[therower]

Hi @mist . One of the greatest gifts in life is the ability to make people smile and feel positive about themselves.
I've read a lot of your posts over time.
I have an idea of where you've been, and the obstacles you've overcome to be with us now.
You make me smile and give me positivity along with many others who read your posts.
You have a GIFT.

 

[Deespee23]

Hi Mist - sorry to hear you're feeling down.....

Don't give up....we all have down days but things will change...you ain't alone - especially on here! Now if you played the guitar as badly as I do, I could understand! (Joke, BTW )

Seriously mate, just hang on in there. Keep on keepin' on.

All the best

D23

 

[Prettypinkpetals]

Know how you feel @mist....just do what I do, no choice but to have my head down, **** up & crack on!

 

[tigerlily72]

Hi Mist

I see you're Type 1. I'm T2 so I'm not qualified to advise on dealing with T1. However, what I do see from your signature and details is that you're a SURVIVOR!

Just look at what you've fought and overcome. Do you have someone close / nearby you can talk to?

 

[mist]

Something is wrong with my mind. I have horrible thoughts that I can't get rid of and I'm scared of slipping back into my old coping mechanisms.

I put my trust in someone whom I loved deeply and they betrayed me and humiliated me and I know this happens to a lot of people, but they don't come apart at the seams like I'm doing. It makes me feel weak and useless.

I have no one to talk to, nobody wants to know, and I don't blame them, everyone has their own set of problems.

I just don't want to be around anymore, I'm scared of myself as strange as that sounds.

This isn't one of those attention seeking threads, I'm just, I don't know, alone.

Maybe I just need to let it all out because I have a tendency to bottle my feelings away.

Sorry guys, I'm sure I'll be ok tomorrow. I feel suitably embarrassed for writing this on a public forum and I don't know why I did.

Sorry.

 

[Lamont D]

I feel so tired, I don't think I have any more fight in me. I just want to close my eyes and let go.

Get your guitar out and play something meaningful.
Something that will chill you, invite someone close, to share your music.
Music has been my go to source of getting away from my troubles so many times.
You love music. I love music, it means much more, than life itself sometimes.
Anxiety and depression can be pushed away.
Go, do it!

 

[Lamont D]

Something is wrong with my mind. I have horrible thoughts that I can't get rid of and I'm scared of slipping back into my old coping mechanisms.

I put my trust in someone whom I loved deeply and they betrayed me and humiliated me and I know this happens to a lot of people, but they don't come apart at the seams like I'm doing. It makes me feel weak and useless.

I have no one to talk to, nobody wants to know, and I don't blame them, everyone has their own set of problems.

I just don't want to be around anymore, I'm scared of myself as strange as that sounds.

This isn't one of those attention seeking threads, I'm just, I don't know, alone.

Maybe I just need to let it all out because I have a tendency to bottle my feelings away.

Sorry guys, I'm sure I'll be ok tomorrow. I feel suitably embarrassed for writing this on a public forum and I don't know why I did.

Sorry.

There is no need to apologise.
You needed to vent and get it out there!
If it helps, no one will mind.
This forum is great for advice, it's also a good way to let off steam.
You have a story, tell it.
The blogs, have let me tell my life stories and my weirdness!
I have had anxiety and depression of a sort. It goes with the condition, it has no known cure, the treatment, only diet!
How do I cope with that, with my anxiety, going apeshit through my head?
You just do, and move on.
You find a listening post, this is it!
I love to read blogs, about how people cope with their trials and tribulations.
We just have to use whatever safety valve is there and get it out there!
Keep posting even if it's BS!

 

[asparagusp]

Can I ask how old you are Mist?

The reason I ask Mist is I know someone who is suffering depression and is probably not too far off your age.

 

[Yvonnet]

You have no reason to apologise, sometimes people just need to vent to strangers as we have no side to take we just listen and make no assumptions, please feel free to talk as long as you like someone will always reply to you.

 

[azure]

There's nothing wrong with reacting that way when you've had your trust betrayed @mist It can be gut-wrenching and mind-twisting.

If you're really struggling with your thoughts, please do speak to your GP. There's absolutely nothing weak about seeking help if you need it. In fact, it's the opposite - very brave.

 

[Liam1955]

Hi @mist - Just remember we are here to help, support you in whatever way we can.

 

[Juicyj]

There are lots of folk here to talk to and no need to apologise, I tend to find nighttime is worse when feeling down, tiredness and culminated thoughts from the day, a good nights sleep is the best medicine. Please think about giving your GP a call in the morning and telling them how you feel, they are there to help, we are also here too

 

[azure]

If you can't sleep and it's quiet online here, remember the Samaritans have people who can listen 24 hours a day:

http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

Sometimes morning can seem a long time away, but there are always people who can help.

 

[tigerlily72]

Something is wrong with my mind. I have horrible thoughts that I can't get rid of and I'm scared of slipping back into my old coping mechanisms.

I put my trust in someone whom I loved deeply and they betrayed me and humiliated me and I know this happens to a lot of people, but they don't come apart at the seams like I'm doing. It makes me feel weak and useless.

I have no one to talk to, nobody wants to know, and I don't blame them, everyone has their own set of problems.

I just don't want to be around anymore, I'm scared of myself as strange as that sounds.

This isn't one of those attention seeking threads, I'm just, I don't know, alone.

Maybe I just need to let it all out because I have a tendency to bottle my feelings away.

Sorry guys, I'm sure I'll be ok tomorrow. I feel suitably embarrassed for writing this on a public forum and I don't know why I did.

Sorry.

The fact that you recognise you're really struggling and acknowledge the symptoms (I feel) is a good thing. I've suffered on and off for years with depression and anxiety. I'm currently unmedicated for this as I took myself off my antidepressants approx 2 months ago after being on them continuously for 2 years following a traumatic life event which triggered it. I have attended CBT (cognitive behavioural courses) which I know isn't for everyone. When it was first suggested to me I dismissed it for several months before giving it a go. I found it really helped me as the techniques you learn help to retrain your way of thinking and to think more positively. Sounds cheesy I know!

I'm a fairly perceptive and also sensitive person that often cares too much, especially how people see me. I now have to think "So what if X doesn't like me". And I've been let down and hurt by people I've put my faith in. I used to blame myself but now I've learnt to let it go.

Also, I never used to talk about my mental health at work, mainly due to embarrassment. However, after "opening up" more following a period of being signed off during a very low point about 2 years ago, I found out that a lot of my colleagues had, or were suffering from mental health issues. I think personally that we shouldn't hide it - we talk openly about other diseases such as cancer so why hide depression and its associated conditions?

Please don't feel embarrassed by your post. Hopefully by me sharing my experiences you can see that we do come through these things - we are fighters. And if you need to come on here to talk there's usually someone about that will hopefully respond and support you.

Take Care. X

 

[julie56]

Sorry guys, I'm sure I'll be ok tomorrow. I feel suitably embarrassed for writing this on a public forum and I don't know why I did.

Sorry.[/QUOTE]
Please don't feel embarrassed about posting on this public forum, we are real people here all with many things in common. So very sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment and really, really hope you will be feeling ok tomorrow - some days it is hard to imagine that tomorrow will be brighter, but hold on in there because better days will surely come. Wishing you better times soon.

 

[mist]

You guys really are amazing. I feel very humbled by your resonses and kind words, to the point it brought me to tears, which may sound overly dramatic but i haven't cried in a very long time, despite trying very hard to do so.

I don't often open up like that and show my emotions becuase, well im not actually sure, ive always felt i have to be strong for others when they themselves are in a bad way and maybe i stupidly thought of myself as somewhat invincible, for want of a better word.

Ive never really had anyone in my life to talk to, and still dont. I dont have any friends, yes im a billy no mates!

I did phone the samaritans becuase i was worried i was going to hurt myself, something i havent done for many years, and they did help a lot.

i dont know guys, sometimes i just feel like im adrift and alone, you know?

I really dont like who i have become in recent years, this has been going on for four years now and tonight my emotions just kind of came flooding out.

I really am grateful to everyone here, you wont know just how much.

Maybe in time i will learnto open up more and maybe talk a little more about what is going on with me, but im not there yet.

Thanks again guys, im going to go and dye my hair green and eat chicken breast because you know, CooCoo!

Hopefully in the morning i'll be a bit more with it.

Wayne (mist)

 

[azure]

Take care @mist and I hope you can sleep ok now. I admire both your honesty and your courage. You're not alone.