This Is So Hard......

[BibaBee]

.....I think I need some virtual hugs and general cheerleading to keep going. I'm supporting my husband who was dealing with extreme anxiety and depression prior to diagnosis. He has a long history of health anxiety and has avoided seeing the GP or Opticians for over 10 years.

We are now three weeks after diagnosis (HBAC1 122 on admission to hospital) and his mental health has never been poorer. His vision has become very poor (he is self-employed and unable to work) and we have some concerns about other visual symptoms. We have an opticians appointment for a diabetic eye care check for Tuesday, rather than wait for screening. He is terrified and I am very worried about how he will react if we get bad news. I've taken leave from work to look after him, as he is still on insulin (although we hope this is temporary).

On the positive side, I'm starting to get a handle on the LCHF approach, and his levels are stabilising (Dawn Phenomenon is being a pest though!). He's on Metformin (500mg twice a day) and reducing doses of Abasaglar and Humalog. According to My Sugr his estimated HBA1C is 52.3, which is a massive step in the right direction.

He is convinced his life is over at the moment and no amount of love, reassurance and support from me will change his mindset. He thinks he has damaged his eyes permanently. I'm now starting to struggle myself and finding it hard to cope. I'm not necessarily looking for answers, just need some support right now.

 

[xfieldok]

Massive hug from me!

I was also diagnosed at 122 back in November. Six months later I was down to 35. It was all down to the wisdom and support from this forum.

Eyesight may improve once the glucose level stabilises at a more level. It does take time, the body has been used to high glucose, in some cases, for years.

 

[Arab Horse]

So sorry to read this. You can only continue to support him and let him know that there are a lot of others here sending him virtual hugs and best wishes. Sight can improve greatly with medical intervention and if you take care of your glucose levels and stick to your low carb diet.

Dawn phenomenon is often diffiuclt to control but look after the other things and it will gradually get better.

Good luck, hope things improve for you.

 

[Deleted Account]

Coping with initial diagnosis is incredibly difficult.
But I am a glass half full kinda gal.
In hindsight I am happy that I was diagnosed with diabetes. Not happy to have diabetes but very pleased to learn what was causing my symptoms of tiredness, peeing, thirst, etc.
And pleased to have the knowledge and tools to manage them.

As @xfieldok mentioned, eye sight may sort it self out as your husband’s eyes gets used to the lower BG. It is definitely useful,for him to have an eye test but don’t waste money on expensive glasses as his eyes are adjusting as they are likely to be temporary.

Your husband is lucky to have you.
Don’t forget to look after yourself.

 

[briped]

And you shall have the virtual hugs, for what they're worth. Trying to keep oneself on top of the situation is difficult enough, but to do the same for one's near and dear is so difficult. Of course you're both terrified, and Tuesday must seem so far away to you.
Lots of people on this forum mention blurry vision due to high BG levels, and as his levels come down his vision is likely to improve too along with any other symptoms.
His life is not over, but if he was depressed even before diagnosis who can convince him of that? Fellow T2s? Perhaps ... I was diagnosed in 2005, and my life is far from over. My high carb life, yes, but by no means the rest of it.
Give yourself a little break. You are doing your very best for him, but you're not a magician. Don't expect the impossible of yourself. Know that you're doing your very best, and that you can't do better than that, and do something good for yourself. Sit in the sun, go for a swim or whatever pleasures you. Just to take your mind of your troubles for a short while.

 

[Oldvatr]

Coping with initial diagnosis is incredibly difficult.
But I am a glass half full kinda gal.
In hindsight I am happy that I was diagnosed with diabetes. Not happy to have diabetes but very pleased to learn what was causing my symptoms of tiredness, peeing, thirst, etc.
And pleased to have the knowledge and tools to manage them.

As @xfieldok mentioned, eye sight may sort it self out as your husband’s eyes gets used to the lower BG. It is definitely useful,for him to have an eye test but don’t waste money on expensive glasses as his eyes are adjusting as they are likely to be temporary.

Your husband is lucky to have you.
Don’t forget to look after yourself.

Agree with comment that it is wrong time to buy new glasses if bgl levels changing suddenly as they seem to be at the moment. Give it a few months after bgl steadies at the lower levels.

The DP you mention will be happening because your body is sensing that the glucose levels are dropping, and this triggers the liver to give a boost from stored glucose to try to bring the bgl back up to the high levels it was used to. Keep up with the LC diet approach, and this will slowly deplete those glucose stores, and gradually the DP will fade. Takes a couple of months for this to happen, so be patient. Remember that carbs eaten feeds the fire, so upping carb intake will top up the glucose stores and give you back the DP. Avoid binge eating or sneaky treats if you want to reduce DP.

 

[kitedoc]

Hi @BibaBee,
You are doing an awesome job. And deserve a million hugs !!
Your husband has a lot on his plate, naturally any perceived and obvious threat such as to his vision is going to play on his mind.
ONE Day At A Time - try to stay with one day, (tomorrow will come no matter what) the sun will rise, there is certainty in that, not everything is as predictable but hang onto the things that are !!
Emphasise The Positive - vision gets better a little in time, the treatment is helping keep the sugars down
State the Negative but bit by bit - doctor says this to be done n 1 month , focus on that (not the following 3 months)
Keep Occupied - audiotapes, music, TV, walks, ? dancing - distraction ++
He might need counselling and other help for his anxiety and depression ( ? including any tests for underlying causes which have not previously been done)
As helper, saviour, chief bottle-washer and resident angel - take your rest when you can and maintain your own health
Humour is one of the best medicines.
Best Wishes !!!

 

[Flankermum]

Hugs from me flying your way!

You have done so much for your husband already being so caring and supportive and researching lchf. It must be such a worrying time for you both on top of his depression and anxiety. Take some time to read some of the inspirational success stories on here - they definitely helped me!
My eyesight had deteriorated a fair bit by the time I found out I was type 2 with an hba1c of 102. Strictly following lchf, well actually Keto really, my hba1c is now 46 and my eyesight very much improved!
Keep going and come on here for support - it really is a wonderful place full of wonderful people!
Take care x

 

[BibaBee]

Thanks everyone for your lovely comments. I think the next hurdle is Tuesday and we see how we go from there. He is worried because he has been experiencing visual disturbance for well over a year. He already has impaired vision in one eye due to a childhood illness. He now seems to have floaters and other stuff going on, so our DN suggested we get him checked out. On top of the blurred vision, this is making him assume the worst. Keep everything crossed for us.

We're being very strict and just keeping to three meals a day at the moment. We've been reducing carbs and cut out all the bad stuff. I've lost over a stone myself in the past 3 weeks! I started out aiming for around 100-150g a day, but we're now down to under 100. Thankfully, I love to cook and just see this side things as a challenge. I've always cooked from scratch, we just ate too much of the homemade cakes, bread and takeaway before!

 

[BibaBee]

Hi @BibaBee,
You are doing an awesome job. And deserve a million hugs !!
Your husband has a lot on his plate, naturally any perceived and obvious threat such as to his vision is going to play on his mind.
ONE Day At A Time - try to stay with one day, (tomorrow will come no matter what) the sun will rise, there is certainty in that, not everything is as predictable but hang onto the things that are !!
Emphasise The Positive - vision gets better a little in time, the treatment is helping keep the sugars down
State the Negative but bit by bit - doctor says this to be done n 1 month , focus on that (not the following 3 months)
Keep Occupied - audiotapes, music, TV, walks, ? dancing - distraction ++
He might need counselling and other help for his anxiety and depression ( ? including any tests for underlying causes which have not previously been done)
As helper, saviour, chief bottle-washer and resident angel - take your rest when you can and maintain your own health
Humour is one of the best medicines.
Best Wishes !!!

Thanks for these really helpful suggestions. We are trying audio books, which are helping a little. He unfortunately doesn't feel up to walking at the moment (he said everything looks weird and it scares him) and he often just retreats back to bed after mealtimes and meds.

I am certainly trying to take it one day at a time and my family are being awesome at supporting me.

 

[Rachox]

Hi BibaBee
You’re doing a fantastic job. As you love cooking, maybe making some low carb treats for dessert as well as continuing to make the low carb main meals will help you both along. Here are a few recipes I love that are low carb:
Carrot cake:
https://www.ditchthecarbs.com/low-carb-carrot-cake/
Chocolate peanut squares:
https://www.dietdoctor.com/recipes/low-carb-chocolate-peanut-squares
Lemon and almond shortbread:
https://www.ibreatheimhungry.com/lemon-almond-shortbread-cookies-low-carb-gluten-free/
All of those three websites have loads of recipes both sweet and savoury.
Also, maybe have a read of the success stories on this forum, if you haven’t already, read them to hubby if he can’t manage it yet. I got a lot of inspiration from there in the early days and still do

 

[Prem51]

Hi @BibaBee As others have said retinopathy can get better as blood glucose levels fall. If your husband is coping with depression too that will make him imagine the worst outcome. Depression makes even small problems seem insurmountable, even if they can be dealt with.
My best wishes to you and your husband. It must be difficult for you too but you are doing the right thing in supporting and reassuring him. The MySugr estimate of 52.3 is a huge improvement. Keep up with the lchf eating and it should go even lower.

 

[xfieldok]

I went for a retinopathy exam a couple of months ago and was told there was some background retinopathy. I would have been worried about this if I hadn't read a post from @Rachox on the subject.

It seems that retinopathy can come and go. It can appear if you dramatically lower your BG in a short period of time.

I have had floaters for years.

I have had migraines for years. 25 minutes of aura and feel foggy for a couple of hours. No pain.

Before I was DX, I had two migraines, very different from normal. The aura was a cluster of balls and they were perfectly round and were flourescent in colour.

One migraine lasted 16 days and the other lasted 18 days.

I consulted Dr Google and couldn't find anything that helped. What I did find was the suggestion that the abnormal migraines might be the result of an undiagnosed problem. In my case it was the Diabetes.

These weird migraines have not returned, I have had a couple of the normal ones.

Don't take the medical advice as gospel. If you read around the forum you will see stories that will make your toes curl!

Let us know what your GP says.

 

[Crocodile]

@BibaBee
There's not much more I can add. Good luck. At diagnosis my eyesight was all over the place too. Since I didn't know what the problem was I kept getting new glasses. My optometrist did ask me about blood sugar but being ignorant at the time brushed it off. As the blood glucose dropped and stabilised they did return to where they should be. It took about two months. No trouble since thanks to the low carb approach and the support from this place.
Glenn

 

[Rachox]

I hope they won’t mind but I’m going to tag in @Dark Horse who @xfieldok has reminded me provided loads of knowledgeable reassurance about my eyes when I had my first dodgy retinal screening result recently. Hopefully they can provide you with info and reassurance too.

 

[Marcus1234]

.....I think I need some virtual hugs and general cheerleading to keep going. I'm supporting my husband who was dealing with extreme anxiety and depression prior to diagnosis. He has a long history of health anxiety and has avoided seeing the GP or Opticians for over 10 years.

We are now three weeks after diagnosis (HBAC1 122 on admission to hospital) and his mental health has never been poorer. His vision has become very poor (he is self-employed and unable to work) and we have some concerns about other visual symptoms. We have an opticians appointment for a diabetic eye care check for Tuesday, rather than wait for screening. He is terrified and I am very worried about how he will react if we get bad news. I've taken leave from work to look after him, as he is still on insulin (although we hope this is temporary).

On the positive side, I'm starting to get a handle on the LCHF approach, and his levels are stabilising (Dawn Phenomenon is being a pest though!). He's on Metformin (500mg twice a day) and reducing doses of Abasaglar and Humalog. According to My Sugr his estimated HBA1C is 52.3, which is a massive step in the right direction.

He is convinced his life is over at the moment and no amount of love, reassurance and support from me will change his mindset. He thinks he has damaged his eyes permanently. I'm now starting to struggle myself and finding it hard to cope. I'm not necessarily looking for answers, just need some support right now.

Hi BibaBee,
I cannot give much advice on Diabetes because I'm a newbie, who was diagnosed 2 weeks ago.
What I can say is I suffer with terrible health anxiety and without the help from the forum users I would still be playing the what ifs, and guessing game, I was feeling how your husband is feeling with health anxiety. I knew something was wrong and was trying to guess and kind of self diagnose myself.
The forum helped me take small steps that got me to visit my doctors and get a proper diagnosis and the treatment I needed. I know your situation is not the same as mine but my health anxiety is the same as your husbands. When I went to my doctors 2 weeks ago they told me it had been 2 years since my last visit, the GP surgery said they had sent letters out asking me to attend for blood test, I pretended I hadn't received them but I had, and I had ignored them and hidden them from my wife.
My wife has been a tower of strength and supported me like you are doing with your husband. Unfortunately when we get in a low with the health anxiety it can take quite a while to come out of it, but we do.
I would also like to say that your husband appreciates your help, love and support, I appreciate my wife and the help, love and support she gives me even though we don't always open up and show it at times.
Good luck and big hugs

 

[Arab Horse]

I would suggest your husband tries to get some exercise if possible as exercise is not only good for lowering your BS but it is good for your mental health too. Even if it is just 10 minutes in the garden taking a gentle stroll at first. Big hug to you both.

 

[Suffolk gal]

Hi
I can't advise as I'm also a newbie. I really feel for you and can totally sympathise with your husband. I haven't been offered any support or advice by any medics. All info has come from this website and other online info. It's a very scary feeling and we feel very isolated even though we are among loved ones. Because there are no visible signs, it's not easy for others to make allowances for us, not that they should have to. I'm treating mine as an allergy that I'm ever hopeful I'll find an antedote to. I wish you all the best wishes in the world. Chin up. X

 

[Prem51]

I would suggest your husband tries to get some exercise if possible as exercise is not only good for lowering your BS but it is good for your mental health too. Even if it is just 10 minutes in the garden taking a gentle stroll at first.

And make the most of the sunshine too, it does stimulate the brain to produce 'feel good' endorphins.

 

[jayney27]

Good morning @BibaBee
There isn’t anything to add to what’s already been said here but I wanted to add my own support for you and your family. I believe we need to grieve a little when we get diagnosis that will affect our long term health and future life. Regardless of what else is going on when we are told that the carefree approach to eating what we like, when we like and in the quantity we like is doing us damage and unless we make some significant changes we are destined for life changing complications it can be very hard to accept. I know when I was diagnosed I cried, I was upset, confused, embarrassed, although I now understand that this was a very misplaced feeling to have, I also felt very angry with myself but also I instantly thought of other people that I knew who didn’t have diabetes but for all the world I thought should have and that upset me to, the why me not them syndrome. I needed to grieve for the loss of what I had taken for granted. I did just that, I had some tears, some rage and woe is me moments but then I sat down and reflected on everything I still had and was determined not to loose, my partner, my beautiful daughters and my 3 gorgeous grandchildren, my love of holidays, walks on the beach and being by the sea, my list of these things is endless. I was prepared and willing to loose the high BG, weight and potential for other problems so it was my choice and my chance to make a difference which I grabbed with both hands.
I have achieved great things in 7 months normal BG and over 4 stone lost, increased energy and an overall feeling of wellness. I wish the same for you and especially your husband, it is still early days for him and he has additional worries but I hope he finds a quiet moment for some reflection and that will be his moment to fight and move forward. X