Sorry for the delay replying, Maisie was 9yrs when we lost her, she had to have emergency hysterectomy, we knew this was a problem not having her spayed but she had various medical reasons why she couldn't be done unless in an emergency and this happened and unfortunately she survived the op but the other problems were too strong. Aggie is 10yrs now, they were litter sisters and we had had them from 10wks old. Aggie hasn't been spayed either but she has a heart problem and so we are taking the risk with her as well, we know what could happen but if she has the op now she could die on the table so we are constantly worrying about her.
I am sorry you are having problems with yours but like you say, we do everything for them don't we, and then they just look at you with those eyes and you just melt.