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all is not well

lucylocket61 said:
My urology appointment is on Friday. I am scared. I keep crying, which is probably good as I have not been able to cry for a while. I don't want this to be true. I don't want to have an operation, but I must. I want it to all Go Away.

I don't consider myself to be a coward generally, but this feels like too much to accept. There must be cancer survivors, but media is all about terminal cancer and suffering. I find medical stuff terrifying when it happens to me.

I don't expect solutions, just sharing what is going on with me xxx
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Lucy, if the Big C has come calling on you then stick your tongue right out at it, give it your best “push right off” face and be angry for a bit.

there are survivors out there - football stadiums full of them. And for some who hear the words, “we can’t cure it” there are still wonderful treatments that can give years and years of continuing good life.

My partners daughter had a nasty head and neck tumour over 10 years ago now. She is well, living her best life, doing great work in the NHS. If you lived in her area you would have a (slim) chance of encountering her in the operating theatre.

And there’s Bob, my next door neighbour’s partner. He was diagnosed with a form of leukaemia almost 30 years ago. Until lockdown he was still travelling the world, making new memories and generally just being Bob. He is slowing up now, but he is now in his mid-80s.

Please try to look towards the positives. If this is the BigC, at least you know about it, and can be ready to give it a run for its money. Look upon it as an unwelcome guest you are working toward eviction.

I know it isn’t easy. I know I can say all the words I like, but I’m not walking in your shoes, but what I see is someone with life to life, and advice to give.

Deep breaths.
 
AndBreathe said:
Good lunch today, @lucylocket61 ((It’s already 8am where I am)
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And it's nearly 3pm here in New Zealand

Thinking of you and your appointment today @lucylocket61 , no doubt I'll be fast asleep when you have it. I hope the news is good, but whatever it is, know that there are many many forumites here wishing that you find the best possible way through it.

Have yet more more virtual hugs.
 
lucylocket61 said:
My urology appointment is on Friday. I am scared. I keep crying, which is probably good as I have not been able to cry for a while. I don't want this to be true. I don't want to have an operation, but I must. I want it to all Go Away.

I don't consider myself to be a coward generally, but this feels like too much to accept. There must be cancer survivors, but media is all about terminal cancer and suffering. I find medical stuff terrifying when it happens to me.

I don't expect solutions, just sharing what is going on with me xxx
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Not seeing how any of this is cowardly. And yes, there are cancer survivors out there. You're going to be one of them. Hang in there, keep fighting, and keep crying for as long as you need as well.

Love,
Jo
 
lucylocket61 said:
I am back. It's not good. I have stage 4 incurable kidney cancer which has spread to both lungs with multiple mets. Because of this, it's inoperable. Immunotherapy may be possible. I don't know what else to say at this point. I'm scared.
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Oh Lucy, that's not at all what you hoped for, I'm so sorry!
Don't hesitate to share your fears even if it's just rambling if it helps.
More hugs.
 
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