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Anxious girlfriend

Discussion in 'Newly Diagnosed' started by Girlfriend01, Apr 8, 2018.

  1. Girlfriend01

    Girlfriend01 Family member · Newbie

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    Hi everyone,

    I feel a little selfish posting on here, as I feel that it should be my boyfriend asking for advice...but I really need some reassurance!

    I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and he was diagnosed with type 1 a few weeks ago. This was a massive shock, and at the time I was the upbeat and positive one and he found it very hard to deal with.

    I know that he is the one who has to go through diabetes every day and I have focused on his mental wellbeing entirely and supporting him,

    But now I feel very anxious and worried about the future and what will happen to him. I'm very aware of the nasty complications of diabetes due to my job, and I'm terrified they will happen to my boyfriend. Up to now he is coming to terms with it, but hes still not controlling his sugars well. But I know its still early days for him.

    Just wondered if anyone could give me a few words of advice about how I could deal with my worry and anxiousness? I know its not about me, but I just feel on edge and panicky all of the time :(

    Thanks!
     
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  2. Antje77

    Antje77 LADA · Moderator
    Staff Member

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    You're not selfish at all, welcome on the forum!
    I cannot help you right now, as I'm too tired to write anything remotely intelligent, but I'm sure other people will come up shortly with more functional brains!
    Oh, and no type1 ever has got their blood sugar stable in just a few weeks I believe, please don't panic :)
     
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  3. Alexandra100

    Alexandra100 Prefer not to say · Well-Known Member

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    You could download the free book "Bright Spots and Landmines" .
    https://brightspotsandlandmines.org
    It is a very cheerful book written by a young man with T1.
     
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  4. Daibell

    Daibell LADA · Master

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    Hi. AS long as he is on a sensible insulin regime and manages it well he will be fine with little or no long-term complications. A lot depends on his mental attitude to it. I've been on insulin now for more than 5 years with good control. I just regard it as a nuisance and not a problem. I have friends with far more serious issues that they can't control whereas diabetes normally can be controlled. My wife reminds me to take my insulin when going out and tells me the carbs in any meal she cooks so we work as a team and it doesn't intrude.
     
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  5. rom35

    rom35 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I am T2D, but without my wife I would not be able to fight it! My wife is corner stone of my diabetes management.
     
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  6. stephenlopez

    stephenlopez Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    If you love him, stay with him, and support him! I'm also one of the newly diagnosed ones. I have diagnosed with type-2 about 3 weeks ago and I feel very happy about how supporting my girlfriend is. https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/why.140120/ This is the link to my first thread where i discussed about my travel and my girlfriend was with me all the time and she took care of what I eat. I,m so thankful to god for blessing my life with her. I hope you stand with your man during his hard times too. Also, check out this to help him better: Care for Diabetes
     
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  7. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Expert
    Retired Moderator

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    Hi @Girlfriend01 Welcome to the forum :)

    Being diagnosed with type 1 is a major event so it's not surprising your feeling this way due to your relationship with your boyfriend, as it's still so new there is a lot of adjustment with bedding in with insulin doses and getting control right this does take a while and if he's still producing some of his own insulin it will affect his control also, he needs to keep a close dialogue with his team to get these adjustments sorted, so keeping a record is vital to see patterns. Your spot on though about keeping an eye on his mental state, everyone reacts differently to diagnosis, some struggle others breeze through it, from my experience many do have some struggles so if he could join up at some point it will help him, even if it's just practical advice.
     
  8. Tony337

    Tony337 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Good morning to you........
    44 years a type 1 here.
    I nearly put "in good condition" but decided it made me sound like a car!
    I've had some complications but not life threatening ones.
    I'm married have a son and work and drive.
    My wife met me when I had diabetes so knows no different.

    Diabetes is a simple equation...
    Food, exercise and insulin.
    Tinker with one and you have to tinker with the other.

    Key thing is not to panic.
    My wife leaves everything to me but she always has jelly babies in her handbag.
    If your boyfriend decides to go it alone please don't be offended because he has it 24/7 and you are not there 24/7.
    He will need you for moral support though no matter what.

    I could go on but don't want to bore you...:)
    Its hard from my point of view, having had it so long, because I don't want to come across as being smug when in reality I just want to help and if I can ease someones anxiety then happy days indeed.

    I wish you and your boyfriend all the luck in the world.

    Tony
     
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  9. KK123

    KK123 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Others have said variations of this but it really is very early days. Your poor boyfriend will not have begun to appreciate what he has been diagnosed with never mind be in a position to 'control his sugars well', I know everybody is different but I suspect it will take several months before he has any in depth understanding of what it all means and how to adjust. I think of initial diagnosis as going through a bereavement (for your old carefree life), I'm betting your boyfriend is in turmoil. He may be going through the daily motions of injecting insulin but that was about all I could manage when I got diagnosed. It is good that he has such a supportive partner but though you want to remain 'upbeat' and 'positive' (which is a good thing), remember he may be nowhere near the stage of acceptance yet never mind anything else. I would allow him to 'grieve' I think and then I am sure he will move through the various stages as did most of us. I will also say that I PERSONALLY got very annoyed when well meaning family (partner included) tried to console me by spouting 'uplifting' remarks and going on about how I would be alright with lifestyle changes even though I already led a healthy lifestyle apart from what I now know was too many carbs for my body, the implication being that this may have caused it. Thankfully they are now educated.
     
  10. Sam50

    Sam50 Don't have diabetes · Well-Known Member

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    Hiya- you've made a very good move coming here, you will find plenty of support and helpful advice. A diabetes diagnosis (of any kind) is a shock to the both of you and it takes time to adjust. As others have said you need to view it as a condition which can be controlled rather than a life limiting illness-so don't panic ! Easier said than done I know.

    I'm the wife of a T2 who was diagnosed last summer so I completely understand about your anxiety and worry. Try and stay away from Dr Google which can scare you half to death. You are better off coming on the forum for reassurance. Supporting a partner with the condition can mean that you drain your own emotional reserves. It's important that you look after yourself and manage your own stress. Don't allow it to dominate every waking thought, make time to relax in whatever works for you. Meeting up with friends for a coffee, yoga,, meditation,sport-whatever you do to to relax. If you want a mutual activity that will benefit you both then simply going for a walk is a good one.

    If you feel anxiety getting the upper hand then simple things like diffusing some lavender oil in your work space can make you feel calmer. Personally I found the homeopathic remedy 'ignatia' very helpful in the early days of Hubby's diagnosis (for me not him !) Good for shocks of any kind.

    Basically you need to give yourselves time to adjust to a new normality-keep checking back in here. Everyone is here to support each other x
     
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