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Developing self compassion

Discussion in 'Diabetes Discussions' started by Juicyj, Aug 30, 2019.

  1. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Moderator
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    Many times on the forum I read about members who are facing difficult times, whether it's dealing with a new diagnosis or the grind of their management becoming over whelming, very often it's hard to put yourself first and to be kind to yourself and we can become overly critical of ourselves particularly if we're seeing constant high numbers or eating something that we know will have a negative impact on our blood glucose levels.

    Here's a short little video of some exercises to help us become more compassionate with ourselves, hope it helps.

     
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  2. Mike d

    Mike d Type 2 · Expert

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    Speechless ...
     
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  3. LooperCat

    LooperCat Type 1 · Expert

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    In what way?
     
  4. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    I didn't even bother to reply..........
     
  5. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    If it helps just one person, then it's a good thing.
     
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  6. zand

    zand Type 2 · Expert

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    Nice little video but I had to smile at no 6. Something that comforts me? Food lol that's what got me here and that's what makes me critical of myself. :hilarious:
     
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  7. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Moderator
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    That makes a change Mike :hilarious:

    @zand yes I thought the same. Still comfort comes in many forms, a walk, a phone call with your best friend, hopefully not just biscuits or cake !!!
     
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  8. karen8967

    karen8967 Type 1 · Expert

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    FB_IMG_1560683924649.jpg
     
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  9. zand

    zand Type 2 · Expert

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    Oh I am kind to myself, it's the other ******* who keep kicking me when I am down. :rolleyes::)
     
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  10. KK123

    KK123 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I think it's a good thing to reflect sometimes. You see people doing so well on this site and posting their numbers and receiving praise for them when they go down or are in remission and that's good, but it's easy to think of yourself as a failure if you take a misstep or your numbers aren't as good and that in turn can lead you into fanatic territory forever feeling negative every time your finger prick test is 0.3 points higher. It may seem daft to those of us that are not affected by such things (moi) but I reckon this video is a reminder to be kind to yourself, thanks Juicy.
     
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  11. karen8967

    karen8967 Type 1 · Expert

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  12. Pipp

    Pipp Type 2 · Expert
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    Great thread, @Juicyj .

    Compassion based therapy helped me after traumatic medical incident threw me totally off kilter.

    If any members would be interested in developing self compassion this could be a start:

    https://compassionatemind.co.uk/about-us
     
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  13. lucylocket61

    lucylocket61 Type 2 · Expert

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    Thank you for those links and videos. Very helpful.

    I have had to find alternative ways of comforting myself, it was hard to start with, but now its second nature.
     
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  14. Mbaker

    Mbaker Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    This type of sentiment I see for those with Type 2 who are trying to manage via diet only (and sometimes with exercise as well).

    When it comes to Christmas, birthdays, Easter and the like they really suffer. This is upsetting to me, as I know the discipline it takes to be LCHF, and never struggle to the same extent as some at the pinch point times. These thoughts changed my opinion of what I call gap foods such as the Keto type treats for occasional use.
     
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  15. Pipp

    Pipp Type 2 · Expert
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    I am compassionate enough to myself to add that it is my belief that self compassion is more difficult than being compassionate to others. Yet many find it more difficult to give themselves that consideration.
     
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  16. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Moderator
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    Couldn't agree more @Pipp its very often easier to be more compassionate to others than to yourself, particularly if you are in caring role such as nursing or looking after a relative, then your priorities can change greatly.

    A good starting point to try and the change the negative self talk we often give ourselves and instead to focus on changing the messages we give ourselves to that of positive self talk, so tune in and listen when you hear yourself berating yourself and think about what you would say to a loved one or friend instead, changing your tune will help encourage more positive thinking and behaviours.
     
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  17. jjraak

    jjraak Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Probably not the most understanding of the issues others faced, though i tried.

    until it fell like a shadow over me.

    Taken me a while to work out, and getting a little help along the way.
    but for me Point 6..self soothe, helped me..a little music, a moments peace.. it can be whatever you want..if it does the job.

    Thanks for the post @Juicyj
    just like T2D was at first where the advice on here helped tremendously,
    trying to find my way along an unknown road, has had difficulties, but this has helped.

    @Mike D ..it's not in depth, for sure, if that's where your coming from

    But the joy is it follows the KISS principle,
    so easy to remember & implement
    perfect for those who maybe get a bit more fractious then seems normal over things many others MIGHT see
    as unworthy of stressing out over.

    Peaceful day for those who need one.
    chaos and mayhem for those who like life a bit more gritty.
     
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  18. Goonergal

    Goonergal Type 2 · Moderator
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  19. Pipp

    Pipp Type 2 · Expert
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    One thing that compassion therapy taught me was that even the emotions I was thinking of as being destructive such as anger, disgust, shame, were useful, and don’t work in isolation. They have a purpose. Courage and compassion complement and work alongside them.

    Then the cartoon film ‘Iside Out’ was released. Summed it up perfectly. :).

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inside_Out_(2015_film)
     
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  20. alaska

    alaska · Well-Known Member

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    I echo the sentiment of others - nice thread :)

    One of the things I'm benefitting from is the 'acceptance' part of self-compassion.

    When things are terrifying or things feel unjust/unfair, at the heart of the suffering is that I've struggled to accept the reality I find myself in.

    Seeing things as they are - no more, no less than they are. Accepting my own feelings, the reality of the situation. Not pushing uncomfortable thoughts away. Not over-identifying with unpleasant thoughts and therefore not ruminating in circles. < These parts seem to be really key for me.

    It's ok to feel difficult feelings. Accepting them helps to diminish the pain.
    As one researcher puts it: suffering = pain x resistant to it

    That seems to ring true.
    I remember one time I had toothache at 2am. Finding a dental surgery open didn't seem likely. So, I made peace with my pain, actually invited it to do all it needed to do (be as painful as it needed to be) for my body to sort things out.

    Once I did this, within minutes the pain had subsided on its own. It felt incredible that the pain just subsided, but sure enough it did. Was it simply a mindset thing? I have a mind to think it was.

    Thank you @Pipp for letting us know about the Inside Out film. Looks like it's one of those films in which adults can learn as much as children from.

    Take care and look after all of yourselves

    Ed
     
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