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Help!!! REALLY struggling!

mouseee

Well-Known Member
Messages
739
So... 2 years post T2 diagnosis, masses of symptoms, went low carb, dropped hba1c by 2/3 into almost normal range. Doing well.

Then... well, I could make a few excuses... lockdown, losing my mum to covid (helped by her T2)...and the carb cravings came back. Bigger and more obvious and too big to push aside.

I have no control over what I am eating - yes, I know I really have but it doesn't feel like it currently- eating masses more carbs in meal than I should in a whole day, possibly in a week. BG up, when I actually test, weight up, gained all I'd lost.

Everyday I get up with the plan that I will get back on it and by lunchtime I couldn't give two hoots. I am truly self sabotaging. I have no symptoms at the moment and therefore I'm 'fine'. Yes, I know I'm doing damage to my insides.
I have sat and scoffed a whole garlic bread, eaten chips, cakes, bars of chocolates, magnums, crisps. Possibly all in one day.

I can't get to the bottom of why I'm allowing myself to be like this. I don't want to eat like this but it's literally like I am out of control.

So, I'm back again, again, in order to try and be accountable for my actions again.
 
It isn't easy for any of us, but you have already shown that you could, and still can do it.
I'd suggest that you don't worry about any immediate return to 'normal', but simply go for 'TATS' - Tiny attainable tickable targets. Record your BG levels and try each day to reduce your carb intake by just a little. Maybe skip the garlic bread and see how that impacts. Then little by little continue to reduce carb intake and look at the results and they should I hope give you the positive reinforcement to help keep you trying.
 
Hi @mouseee , you taken the first step towards sorting your diet out by posting here. I have a couple of suggestions to get started. Firstly once you’ve read this post go to your kitchen and chuck out all foods that are tempting you to fall of the wagon, make it so that they couldn’t be retrieved from the bin and eaten. Pour some washing up liquid over the food if that’s what it takes. Secondly, any time you feel tempted log in and start reading the success stories here or just have a rant, you’ll find support.
 
So sorry for your loss. Must have been so hard losing your mother and it wasn’t that long ago. Please take time and be kind to yourself. You can do this. Just two weeks ago, I was eating everything you were in a day and had no symptoms. Today I’m being told I have proteins in my urine indicating kidney damage.

you’ve done it before, I know you can do it again. Maybe start with just cutting out the sweet stuff and then work on the carbs? I have an all or nothing mentality so I cut the carbs down loads in the two weeks and added intermittent fasting and exercise. Yes it was horrendous, yes it was hard work but my bloods are looking great in just two weeks. So it doesn’t seem so horrendous anymore!
I have faith in you
 


Yep removing the problem is a really good idea!
 
mouseee said:
So, I'm back again, again, in order to try and be accountable for my actions again.
Click to expand...

That was the bravest step, coming back to a group of peers and confessing your struggles.
No judgement here, burnout is a real & present danger to us all, we're learning from what you are going through.

mouseee said:
I can't get to the bottom of why I'm allowing myself to be like this. I don't want to eat like this but it's literally like I am out of control.
Click to expand...

Now we can't stand beside you with a big stick dishing out slaps every time you reach for the golden sugar.
All we can do is encourage you & give personal advice.
When I feel I'm slipping I sometimes delve into the complications forums as a way to buck me up.
I followed a guy on Reddit who bemoans the fact he can't get a Tinder date cause he's on dialysis in his 30s & has ED due to 5 years of uncontrolled diabetes.
That smartens me right up when I want to reach for a croissant or chocolate cookie.
I know it's a hardcore lesson but it keeps me in check.

mouseee said:
I have sat and scoffed a whole garlic bread, eaten chips, cakes, bars of chocolates, magnums, crisps. Possibly all in one day.
Click to expand...

Bet it tasted great though . . . . but maybe time to say goodbye.
You've done this before, you have the tools, you're in the right place for advice.

Do it & let us make your testimonial a sticky in years to come for other who suffer burnout.
 
Mouseee, losing your mum to covid is a HUGE thing to go through, and I feel that you are beating yourself up over this loss. I've lost my mum and son too, so I know what you are going through. I did what you are doing. I made myself ill. I was literally attacking my body with food if you will. I just ate and ate and ate and couldn't have cared less about myself. Six weeks ago I woke one morning and 'punished' myself with no food all day until 3pm/3.30pm and that was my turn-around moment. I send you a hug and hope you get your turn-around moment soon. My bgl's now are all 5's and 6's in just this short a time so please believe me that there's a light at the end of your tunnel x
 
Be careful next time you shop. No snacks or anything carby. Buy cheese, eggs, bacon or anything that's protein and fat for preference. If it isn't in the house you can't eat it.
 
Perhaps you need to make yourself a really luxurious breakfast - tell yourself you need to look after yourself as often as necessary. Maybe start your day with multivitamin and mineral tablets, just in case you are lacking something, a shower and a little pampering - take yourself out somewhere or just go into the garden for a while.
Try something creative you used to do but might have stopped for a while, or try something completely new. Change your routine a little, move the furniture, organise your wardrobe.
Sometimes we just need to change what we are thinking about to alter how we are behaving.
 
Bless you x.
 
Have you had any grief counselling? Grief can do strange things to us, even months after the loss. Sorry you lost your mother.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s no wonder you fell off the wagon.

There’s some great suggestions here and it’s all about what works for you.

For me, I’m a tech head so I’m all about facts and figures. I got a copy of carbs & Cals (other carb counting apps are available ) and it becomes a game of making sure the carbs are under X or the Cals are under Y, then the scales are down by Z.

My care team said nothing is off limits but to moderate. For me, I tend to buy low carb alternatives (are we allowed to mention company names? If so I’ll drop down my go tos here) when I have that urge for sweet stuff. For example, I had PB&J for breakfast with whole wheat bread, low carb hazelnut spread (I know, not peanut but close enough), and low carb strawberry jam. Came to a whole 25g of carbs.

But as people have already said, coming here and talking is a great first step. You can do this, little improvements every day until you are back where you want to be.
 
There’s no shame on getting on some medication while you sort things out.
 
First of all sorry for your loss I lost my mum several years ago but it still hurts.

There are some good things to note you are not back at square one you already know what foods you can eat and what to avoid just dig out your old food logs if you have them..

You know what the consequences of uncontrolled blood sugars are give them some thought it may help concentrate your mind.

You probably already have you're blood testing gear so start to test again, . again knowing where you are may help resolve where you want to be in a few moths time don't expect immediate change as has been said, break it down into manageable goals taking things day by day.

Don't get into the blame game.

And remember as has been pointed out time and time again in the past achieving control of diabetes is not a sprint but a marathon.

Here is an old adage every journey starts with one step all you have to do right now is take that first step easy to say I know but you have done it before you can do it again.

Good luck and best wishes.
 
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When my self control ebbed the CGM Libre, albeit an expensive tool, helped me get back on track as it gives instant feedback when eating something I shouldn't. Once I see the sharp rise it stops me from going down that path! Out of sight is out of mind for me when will power is lacking...
 
Hi and my sympathies for your loss.

Grief and stress can really make it hard to stick to any plan. I am the first to admit that I am a comfort eater and a carboholic. While I stay very low carb there are some days that it is really tough.

There is a lot of good advice on this thread. For me taking the step of coming here and posting is huge- it sort of draws a line in the sand. however, please do not be too hard on yourself. you have had a significant loss in a time where the whole world is stressed. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself.

Read around and keep posting. I really like the idea of taking tiny attainable tickable targets. I think that is something I could aim for.

Let us know how we can help
 
"TATS" is great: I'm going to remember that and use it myself!
 
Thank you. Everything you've all said makes sense.
I know this forum is supportive, it's where I learnt how to get my bg down in the first place. I need to pop in more often everyday and not just lurk either!
 
reading this forum helped me a lot when I first started low carbing 4 years ago (7 years after diagnosis as Type2), although I struggled to contribute (not very tekky). I fell off the wagon after Covid last year. When I read moussee's message, I recognised all those feelings, and many more that have been described. Thank you.
 
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