During my 2 week low carb challenge, I did a lot of thinking, and I looked at a lot of my behaviour and so on... all I can tell you is, when I see McDs I want it... as soon as the thought hit my head, I want it like nothing else. The craving becomes unbearable. But I am also someone who sabotages my own success, the LCHF from dietdoctor wasn't the success I needed it to be and so I think I kinda said 'sod' it. Yesterday I felt so low that I made the biscuits just because I could. I feel so poorly today, I am on a day off. I feel sickly and so down in myself. Im disgusted with my inability to be in control of this.
OMG - that could be me writing!!
I have always followed the Seafood Diet - if I see a particular item of food, I WANT it, right away, even if it had never entered my head before. I hate things like Easter, with all the ads for Easter eggs - turns me into a nervous, overeating wreck! (Although not this year, as I discovered this website just at the right time.) And what on earth is it that they put into McDs to make it so compulsive?!!
I can relate totally to your success sabotage, too, and the "because I could" mentality. Up until the past few months if I ate even one thing "off plan" when on a diet, I would then proceed through the cupboards like a locust, thinking: "Oh, soddit - I've blown it today now anyway." And when I felt poorly I always felt I had to self-medicate using food and edible "treats".
Don't beat yourself up, honey - I'm sure we're not the only two people in the world to feel like this! We're not Superwoman, or saints. If you're having a bad day, how about just going with the flow, and telling yourself that today you're going to **** well have whatever you want, but then you'll pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back with the programme...? That may not be the best advice in the world, but I know from personal experience that feeling weak and disgusted, and trying to force myself to be "good", simply makes me 10 times worse.
You're not a weak person - you couldn't have achieved what you already have if that was the case. But sometimes - for all sorts of reasons - we can't be in control and maybe we just have to accept that, do whatever it takes to get through it, and move on.
Big hugs xx