@SueJB Just a number in one sense but the product of all the processes and interventions leading to that number. A sudden switch from days of low to medium 4s to mid or highish 5s tells me I have either messed up on my own processes or I am unwell but putting up a good fight to contain the effects on blood sugar. I don't really do ambivalence/tolerance of missed targets - number wrong = look-for causes = fix asap.
However I really appreciate the kind words and somewhere amongst all the processes is probably plenty of cortisol from stressing about how I got here and how to sort it all out!