Would you be equally offended if they commented on a change of hair style or colour? Is there a reason why “I changed my diet/resolved a health issue” wasn’t an appropriate, vague and non personal reply? People are interested in drastic changes. 49kg is huge and no wonder it was noticed. (Amazingly well done btw). It’s human nature to my way of seeing things. Is that really insulting or intrusive? Some seek information to inspire them to do likewise, and to give a little information is helpful. Obviously people should respect your boundaries and refusing to take no for an answer once told directly deserves increasingly blunt answers. Ironically I too find it a little defensive and quite frankly extreme (to my way of thinking) that you feel ANY questions at all are overstepping boundaries, in a similar way to those asking you in person that upset you so much.
NB no actual questions intended here to be intrusive, they are hypothetical (nor reply expected as to your reasons). More trying to offer an insight into why people ask you about things you feel they shouldn’t. I genuinely see it as interest rather than rudeness in most cases, at least initially.
Who said I was offended? I was annoyed with those who were intrusive.
I only regarded it as rude of them when they continued with comments after I had expressed that I did not want to discuss it. Why should they have a right to my personal information? Especially those people I don’t know very well. Not all of the comments I received were compliments. Very often there was an addendum to an enquiry, such as “ you still have weight to lose, so are you going to keep going, or give up”. Or “ Most people regain the weight”.
If people were genuinely asking about my health, fair enough. Not one was, it was all about how they thought how I looked.
I agree with both of you.
My late mum had two sisters, and I love both of them very much.
One of them throughout my whole life has subtly made it felt how she felt about my weight, and I always feel judged when I see her. I know that when she sees me, one of the first things she looks at is how fat I am and thinks something about this, even though she likely doesn't realise this herself, and she loves me very much.
The other one doesn't care about my weight, except that she's happy with me when I recently shared I lost a couple of pounds, She doesn't have that scrutinising look.
Therefore, the second aunt is perfectly welcome to discuss weight with me, while I have no intention whatsoever to tell the first one I lost a little.
That first aunt has no idea how much harm she's caused with the way she approached me and my weight from a very young age, even though I'm quite sure she has no idea at all that her way of looking at me has made me ashamed of my body for a very long time. It really was very subtle, and she definitely meant no harm at all.
