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my brother - so sad

lucylocket61

lucylocket61

Expert
Messages
6,394
Location
Wrexham
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
As many of you know, my brother has been type 2 for some time. He got his latest results yesterday, and has a HbA1c of 83.

The print out shows that he has actually been having diabetic levels of over 50 for at least 12 years, although he was only diagnosed 7 years ago.

He wont do anything or listen to anyone. He listens to the diabetic nurse, and 'keeps his carb levels up to good levels' and 'has cabs with every meal'

They are sending him on a DESMOND course !!! and say he needs to go on insulin. His eyes are getting problems and he is worried about driving if he goes on insulin. I gently pointed out that if his levels remain high his eyesight may stop him driving anyway.

Please dont post answers on what he is doing wrong, or what I am doing wrong in not stopping him. I have tried and tried over the years, he wont listen to anyone except his GP.

He is on statins, and blood pressure meds, and all the rest of it. I just wanted to share this with people who understand how sad and frustrating it is for relative of those with worsening blood sugar levels, but who cant release themselves from the NHS mantra.

I dont really blame him so much as the NHS. He is only 53 years old. He lives far away, I rarely see him in the flesh, we speak online mainly and if I push him he withdraws for months. its just a mess.
 
I feel your pain. You really care. It says a lot about you.
 
How frustrating!!! It so hard to watch when you know what could help him.
I have a close dear friend with type 2 and have been watching him get worse.And as long as the doctor tells him everything is ok and his A1C is “normal” he continues to eat icecream and pancakes.
He didn’t even ask what his numbers are.

I understand how you feel.
 
I agree ...the NHS has failed him and many others too. So sad. I feel for you, I really do. X
 
What a sad tale, so sorry Lucy x
 
Sending you a huge hug! I’m so sorry that you have to witness it :( his high blood sugars is not helping his mood or helping him make a rational choice. I hope not all hope is lost, do you know if he gets therapy? Or will consider it?
 
I so feel for you. Knowing that you can help a family member but them not listening only, quite understandably, following the official advice must be heart wrenching. Take care x
 
Very sad indeed. It drives me round the bend that patients are still being given this treatment by a system that is supposed to be there to help them.
 
MeiChanski said:
Sending you a huge hug! I’m so sorry that you have to witness it :( his high blood sugars is not helping his mood or helping him make a rational choice. I hope not all hope is lost, do you know if he gets therapy? Or will consider it?
Click to expand...
he doesnt think there is any problem or that his choice is irrational. The GP and diabetic nurse tell him what to do, he does it, they are the experts : (

Just like the majority of type 2's I meet. I met another one today, an older woman talking to her friend in a cafe, eating cake and saying its OK as her metformin eats the sugar!!! And no, I was not prepared to go up to a complete stranger in public and talk about it to her, but it shows how widespread the bad info is.
 
Soul destroying, isn’t it?
I sympathise, deeply, though my experience has not been as severe a situation as yours.
 
lucylocket61 said:
As many of you know, my brother has been type 2 for some time. He got his latest results yesterday, and has a HbA1c of 83.

The print out shows that he has actually been having diabetic levels of over 50 for at least 12 years, although he was only diagnosed 7 years ago.

He wont do anything or listen to anyone. He listens to the diabetic nurse, and 'keeps his carb levels up to good levels' and 'has cabs with every meal'

They are sending him on a DESMOND course !!! and say he needs to go on insulin. His eyes are getting problems and he is worried about driving if he goes on insulin. I gently pointed out that if his levels remain high his eyesight may stop him driving anyway.

Please dont post answers on what he is doing wrong, or what I am doing wrong in not stopping him. I have tried and tried over the years, he wont listen to anyone except

He is on statins, and blood pressure meds, and all the rest of it. I just wanted to share this with people who understand how sad and frustrating it is for relative of those with worsening blood sugar levels, but who cant release themselves from the NHS mantra.

I dont really blame him so much as the NHS. He is only 53 years old. He lives far away, I rarely see him in the flesh, we speak online mainly and if I push him he withdraws for months. its just a mess.
Click to expand...
Is there any chance that he would look at this forum if you sent him the link
 
When I do talk about my diabetes, even to my brother, it goes in two stages:

stage 1: WOW, you have kept your levels stable and non diabetic for over 7 years with no meds!!! How do you do that?

I tell them, and point them here

Stage 2: I am not giving up or cutting down on (insert food or drink here)

no joined up thinking : (

I would have more success if i was a religious evangelical waving a bible!
 
lucylocket61 said:
When I do talk about my diabetes, even to my brother, it goes in two stages:

stage 1: WOW, you have kept your levels stable and non diabetic for over 7 years with no meds!!! How do you do that?

I tell them, and point them here

Stage 2: I am not giving up or cutting down on (insert food or drink here)

no joined up thinking : (

I would have more success if i was a religious evangelical waving a bible!
Click to expand...
I didn’t say much anymore. I find that most people just have glazed over eyes if I explain.
I don’t say anything unless I’m asked
 
So sad @lucylocket61
Funnily enough, the other day in conversation I mentioned cream being lower in carbs than milk and the lady I was talking to for super excited because her husband has T2 - I told her about the site because she did not know about it but she had worked out that carbs affected his levels. So not everyone just listens to the “experts” as we know. But sad when experts hand out bad advice.
 
I’m sorry Lucy. It’s hard watching someone you love behaving destructively and feeling helpless to stop them.

The terrible level of information provided by hcp is why I’m trying to join my ppg, but it’s been postponed 3 times now! Also waiting to be approved as a phc ambassador and see what I can do via them. If I can persuade one hcp to include and encourage lchf information and support that currently poopoo it I figure a decent number of people will then know about and be able to choose an option beyond gradual decline. Wishful thinking maybe but I’ll try
 
lucylocket61 said:
he doesnt think there is any problem or that his choice is irrational. The GP and diabetic nurse tell him what to do, he does it, they are the experts : (

Just like the majority of type 2's I meet. I met another one today, an older woman talking to her friend in a cafe, eating cake and saying its OK as her metformin eats the sugar!!! And no, I was not prepared to go up to a complete stranger in public and talk about it to her, but it shows how widespread the bad info is.
Click to expand...

I’m very sorry, I hope we together as group can raise more awareness. I know some are us here have been advocating for better dietary advice. I know change takes time but at the same time some of the advice used and given today is killing us slowly. (My bf’s dad’s doctor in their area is teaching everyone to go low carb) It’s unfortunate that some patients will take their doctor’s advice. My dad isn’t a diabetic but he has cholesterol problems and he only listens to his doctor as well. So I understand the level of frustration you are going through.
 
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