I do feel your pain & anxiety here, Lamont .
Only thing I can offer, is there are people out there with better knowledge & dare I say, a clearer view of what might best for all concerned.
Not where you are, I know
And not what you want to hear, either I suspect.
All I can say is when we finally had to accept mum was beyond what we could offer her, for her own safety & quality of life .
Dad was distraught, & kept saying he was sorry and he'd failed her..
The efforts of keeping mum at home exhausted me, at 50+, but it was destroying him and caused one heart attack .
I told him I couldn't have been prouder how hard he fought to look after mum himself
But now, was the right time to accept the right thing to do was to GET mum looked after by those who COULD offer her the help she desperately needed .
Not sure he every really accepted that, but he stopped apologising.
I like to think that perspective gave him some quiet peace when he questioned himself.
You're a solid bloke, Mr Lamont
You're family is very lucky to have you
And having been there, you have my utmost respect for all you're doing.
You won't always get it right, but I know you'll keep on doing what you do, until you can't.
That's not failure, my friend.
That's giving your all, as promised to the one you love the most
Respectfully yours
James
James, if I may....
Your words always bring tears...
You have a beautiful way of describing how the feelings you have had for your parents, can come across to everyone that reads them.
I am not going to apologise for my words and the anxiety of what I'm going through.
It is an outlet, that I do use to offload my frustrations.
I know it is going to really upset me that first time when it happens.
I know it is for the best for both of us.
Even if I truly don't like it.
I never really believe them when anyone compliments my day to day chores of being there for Mrs L. That is what I signed up for over forty years ago now.
I am not doing very well, as they say, it is the best I can do, I believe, but Mrs L deserves better.
I have always believed in improving our lives. But this complicated set of circumstances is beyond my coping skills. My resilience, my comprehension, my life skills. It has become too much!
For that I am sorry!
I will always continue to support Mrs L.
I will always find the best way to support Mrs L.
I will always dedicate my life, for her future. I cannot do less.
What more can I do?
Mrs L is my life now.
I don't have a working life now.
I don't have my football life now.
And now I could lose my partner, so some others can look after her. I'm supposed to do that?
Since covid, my brain has not been the same, because of all this.
I am apprehensive about my own mental strength and mental health.
Counselling is being suggested.
James, if I may.
A friend, you have become, a source of experience, that I will take on board, the realisation of it all is so overwhelming.
I thank you again for your beautiful words. I hope you have recovered from your experience enough to have moved on enough to take the time to be yourself and live your life better because of it all.
I hope that comes across better than I could imagine. I don't have the words. Sorry, oops, I did it again!
My admiration for your words is beyond words.
I think I will leave it there and catch up with the other posts.
My bestest ever wishes to you and yours mate.
Your humble servant.
Keith.