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Type 1 Diabetes is killing me

Alisonjane10 said:
Actually, it does mean patients keep medicines at the bedside. In a POD locker, to which they are given a key alongside a medicines card. This is standard procedure these days under the NHS plan. Put simply, it's a cost saving issue. There are special policies for Controlled drugs, but the patient is STILL allowed to keep their own controlled drugs, such as Morphine, themselves. LOCKED IN THEIR POD LOCKER.
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That's good then. I still think there is an increased risk of crime in relation to controlled drugs, because an offender could threaten a patient and get access to the drugs through manipulation. If this system was brought in here, I wouldn't want my drugs by my bed, for security reasons.
 
indiaemily said:
it's because I've tried help, I've been having help for 10 years and nothing they say or do or try and enforce helps so, I've attempted it and it just doesn't seem to work for me
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It's not always possible to get the right answer first time. Something WILL help you, but it may take a bit of experimenting to find out what.

We're all different and different people need different answers and different help.
 
@indiaemily

Emily,

I reported your OD post because I realised how desperate you were. Hate me for that if you like. I am just a Mum of a T1 Diabetic as well as being T1D myself. You didn't OD privately. You broadcasted it in real time to a public forum. Did you really expect no one to be bothered and to sit back and do nothing? Many people with an understanding of MH issues in diabetes responded. Everyone who responded was trying to offer help and support.

You are not the first person to post on this forum having set up a means to end it all while worried posters frantically attempted to dissuade the person from such drastic action. That person is still alive having overcome their demons and continues to live life to the full in work and play.
 
[QUOTE
"Once confirmed that you are to self-administer your medicines, we will provide you with a Medicines Information Card, which should be completed either by you or a member of staff and checked against your prescription chart. This card will be kept by you and should be referred to when you self-administer your medicines."[/QUOTE]

My point here is "once confirmed"- what the heck does that mean?

Surely "once confirmed" means that the Nhs Staff have assessed the patients ability to look after their medicines properly?

If a youngster (especially) is admitted because of DKA and non compluance then surely that means they are NOTsuitable to be self medicating....
 
donnellysdogs said:
[QUOTE
"Once confirmed that you are to self-administer your medicines, we will provide you with a Medicines Information Card, which should be completed either by you or a member of staff and checked against your prescription chart. This card will be kept by you and should be referred to when you self-administer your medicines."
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My point here is "once confirmed"- what the heck does that mean?

Surely "once confirmed" means that the Nhs Staff have assessed the patients ability to look after their medicines properly?

If a youngster (especially) is admitted because of DKA and non compluance then surely that means they are NOTsuitable to be self medicating....[/QUOTE]
my point exactly, surely it doesn't apply to everyone!
 
Makes me angry!! I cannot see how DKA persons can be allowed by the NHS to be self administering insulin...

Just wish I knew what "once confirmed" applies to...
 
indiaemily said:
didn't have a choice really and if people feel I'm not listening that's fine, I'm just not gonna bother trying to vent how I feel on here because it's as negative as it is positive so I'll deal with what I have to deal with alone
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No you don't have to do this alone.

It sounds to me like you are looking for a magic solution to solve your problems, but really you need to look inside yourself and question your own needs here. You say you are not getting the help you need - when you are are not even asking anyone for help, until you can find your voice and speak out you will continue to suffer. No one is going to criticise or judge you, but you need courage to start talking about your own feelings. Sadly a forum is not going to help you unless you can listen to what other people are recommending and take this advice on board so we are all trying our best but this isn't getting through and in some way it's safe for you to discuss your problems here as you can keep us all at arm's length and just tune in when you need to.

It's all very well and good each of us telling you what you need to do but you have to start communicating properly with those around you first - how are they going to help you if you're not telling them what's going on in your own head ?

Find some courage Emily, having type 1 isn't easy for any of us but we all have our own reasons for wanting to stay well and keep it under control, you need to find your own reasons for managing this and do some soul searching - talk through it with your therapist hun x
 
indiaemily said:
one moment I think yeah let's get well, then I just overrule myself and realise that I'm stuck with diabetes and depression because diabetes can't be cured and I can't treat my depression x
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T
indiaemily said:
didn't have a choice really and if people feel I'm not listening that's fine, I'm just not gonna bother trying to vent how I feel on here because it's as negative as it is positive so I'll deal with what I have to deal with alone
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You will be ok !! Remember you have struggled and become exhausted with this condition thru the worst possible age ... Growth hormones .. School exams ..normal teenage stresses .. I always tell my son and so does his team that things get better after 21 ! That Is a fact , so hang on in there x x
 
donnellysdogs said:
[QUOTE
"Once confirmed that you are to self-administer your medicines, we will provide you with a Medicines Information Card, which should be completed either by you or a member of staff and checked against your prescription chart. This card will be kept by you and should be referred to when you self-administer your medicines."
Click to expand...

My point here is "once confirmed"- what the heck does that mean?

Surely "once confirmed" means that the Nhs Staff have assessed the patients ability to look after their medicines properly?

If a youngster (especially) is admitted because of DKA and non compluance then surely that means they are NOTsuitable to be self medicating....[/QUOTE]

I get your concerns. "Once confirmed" would mean, following an assessment & review by the medical team. A patients' history is taken upon admission to a new ward. Decisions about self administering of medication is taken at that point, provided the patient has capacity (in the legal sense) & wishes to self administer, permission is given. If there is no history of self harm or abuse of medicines, the doctor would have no reason to be concerned. Ongoing assessment would be carried out by the nursing team caring for the patient. They would act accordingly should self administering of medicines become an issue of concern, for one reason or another, & thus jeopardise the safety/wellbeing of the patient. With Emily, it appears that once moved from a high dependency ward to a general medical ward, her medical team have judged her competent to self administer her medication. Her medical history would give no cause for alarm regarding this, as I presume her DKA has been seen as a medical issue due to poor management, rather than a deliberate attempt to harm herself by not taking her insulin.

Remember, Emily is telling US on the forum how she feels, & what she wants/plans to do. She is NOT telling the medical or nursing team. So, unless she does something obvious, the ward team will not be concerned about self administering. Her nocturnal hypo will not be viewed as anything other than what it is. Why would they think differently. Sadly, there is little anyone can do until she realises that the only way forward is to reveal the depth of her despair & depression to those caring for her. Unfortunately, I suspect she will never do so whilst a patient on the ward she actually works on.
 
Emily

Try not to make yr world revolve around how diabetes is making you feel all the time. When I talk to people, I wouldnt have a clue as to whether they were diabetic unless they wanted to tell me.

If its the injections, then demand through yr mum to switch to twice daily. On twice daily, I only did about 2-3 bg tests per day and still had a good hba1c but I did remember to keep to eating food within set time frames and now and again, I needed to eat some glucose to get my bg ok because of hot weather or exercise but my life was good, I went out to nightclubs, got p'sd, and did most things that non diabetics do.

Meet diabetes 50% of the way but keep the other 50% for YOU........Emily.
Get yourself another job away from the medical world of hospitals and go out and enjoy yourself. Enrol in some nightclass courses and meet other people and you will probably find that you will feel different and get yourself someone nice to also enjoy life with. You are lovely looking so enjoy life xxx
 
CatLadyNZ said:
That's good then. I still think there is an increased risk of crime in relation to controlled drugs, because an offender could threaten a patient and get access to the drugs through manipulation. If this system was brought in here, I wouldn't want my drugs by my bed, for security reasons.
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I understand that concern. However, the research supports self administering of medicines is safe, empowering for the patient & encorages self involvement in their own health progress. No-one but the patient & the ward team would know what medication is prescribed. So, whether it is Aspirin or Morphine, self administering has been found to be fundamentally secure. Should the patient have any concerns about keeping their own medication under lock & key, they can choose not to self administer, & the ward staff would then lock the medication away in their clinic/treatment room medicines cupboards or drugs trolley. The patient information leaflet would normally include a paragraph about safe storage of personal medicines, including what to do should another patient/ visitor interfere with their personal prescribed medication. There is no evidence to support the theory that keeping medicines locked away by the patients bedside is a security issue. Personally speaking, I would choose to administer my own medication from my own supply whilst in hospital. If I had any reservations or security concerns, I would immediately bring that to the attention of the nursing team. Each to their own I've found. What works & is desirable practice for one is not always desirable for another. Individual choice will always be at the top of my list. Best wishes.
 
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But emilys history will show she has mh problems if she's had years of therapy. it's a bad call by that ward.
 
Emily,

Put simply, you are suffering terribly due to your depression. It sounds very much like clinical depression, which is deep-rooted & is contributing to your wreckless, self-harming behaviour. You don't care about yourself BECAUSE you are clinically depressed. It doesn't matter what caused you to become so mentally unwell at this point in time. Whether that be your diabetes, or not. The important issue right now is that due to your depression, your thought processes are altered & you are unable to recognise the consequences of your actions. This is an acutely dangerous situation. I am telling you that as fact honey. You must seek help.

I appreciate that being a patient on the very medical ward you work is awkward, and that you do not want your colleagues to know what you are doing in respect of your insulin. Nor how you are feeling. But, if you carry on like this, you giving yourself higher than necessary amounts of insulin will eventually lead to your death. Deep down I don't think you really want this to happen. That's the depression talking. But as you can't see a way forward for yourself, you are blinkered in your thoughts & reasoning, which isn't allowing you to see your options clearly. You need to take a breathe, step back before you do anything else.

Is there a colleague (perhaps your ward sister,) a relative or friend you can share your worries and feelings with. The hospital will have a PALS service & a chaplain, both who you can talk to in confidence. You don't need to be religious to talk with the chaplain. You can contact PALS or the Chaplaincy department yourself via the hospital switchboard number. In my experience, both are likely to get back to you the same day if your phone-call is not immediately picked up. Why don't you explore those options.

Alternatively, you can ask to speak to one of the ward medical team, or a DSN from another department. Confidentiality will be respected. Doing nothing cannot be an option for you now hun.

The first step to accepting you need help seems like a giant one. But, you know, and I know from your words on here, you are clinically depressed, a mental illness that will not go away on its own. Ideally you need to be assessed by the psychiatric registrar or consultant whilst you are in hospital. The hospital will have a mental health specialist liaison nurse...an excellent resource who can quickly access services for you. And, who you can speak to upon request. Even just to see what help is available to you. Mental health outpatient departments offer support and/or day services if necessary, and can be accessed upon discharge from hospital. But, you need to explore these options now.

Stop suffering Emily. Make the first step to getting yourself well. The first step is actually saying to someone "I need help!" X







 
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LizzieNI said:
But emilys history will show she has mh problems if she's had years of therapy. it's a bad call by that ward.
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We don't know what the team on Emily's ward know about her mental health history. Patients do not have a combined set of medical & psychiatric notes...either hard copy or via computer. Unless Emily has been admitted to hospital, or seen in A&E with say, an overdose, when there will be a cross-over of information, there will be no indication within her medical notes that she has been seen by MH services. One speciality has no real understanding of the other either to be honest. Not ideal, and not what people want to hear. But that's the truth. And to be honest, that's not such a bad thing. Patients with a past psychiatric history, no matter how mentally stable they may now be, are viewed differently by the doctors/nurses on a physical care ward. Rightly or wrongly. Unless Emily personally reveals her MH history to the medical team caring for her, they will have no knowledge. And I don't think it's our place to comment further on the care or treatment she is receiving on the ward. That is private & should remain so.
 
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indiaemily said:
after all this I really don't want a pump I can't be dealing with having a machine connected to me all the time, because then diabetes wins because it's because a physical thing (as in the pump) they won't let me trial it, because it costs the nhs £3000 or something so I have to be 100% committed to it! my parents don't buy bad food, I buy all the **** myself and spend a lot of money on it! I wish I could be so positive about myself, I literally have 0 things positive to think about I really am having mixed days, as one minute I feel fine the next I'm like yeah I don't wanna be here so I'm a bit lost in my thoughts still x
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Hello,
I hope you won't mind reading a little story.

There was a girl aged 13 who became very ill with Diabetes. She hated it. It ruled her life. No one knew how low she felt. How different she felt. How sick she felt. She had some really bad times. Having many changes of insulin. Poor control. Doctors who didn't understand. In 2009 she was offered a pump. She didn't want it. She was sure it wasn't for her. She spoke to everyone she could about it and finally agreed. It was the best thing she ever did. Everyone she knew remarked on how much better she looked. She herself knew that her life had changed for the better. The pump is in place for 3 days at a time. No need to inject with every meal. That is such a bonus.
Of course the girl was me aged13, now I am nearly 65! None of us like Diabetes but it is just a condition it isn't YOU. Take all the help there is out there and live your life happy.
 
Emily, I do hope you're ok. I appreciate you may feel sad & angry because of some negative posts. I suspect that was probably due to frustration of the situation by the poster rather than criticism of you personally. Have you considered looking for support by posting on a mental health website, as previously suggested by @LizzieNI. Why don't you take a look to see what's out there. The following link may be a good start for you. http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/a-z-mental-health/ Remember, people care about you & you're clearly loved by your parents. Be brave & seek help. My very best wishes.

PS: Here is a link to the site suggested below by @ohitsnicola. It's part of MIND.
https://www.elefriends.org.uk

AJ10. X
 
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Alisonjane10 said:
Emily, I do hope you're ok. I appreciate you may feel sad & angry because of some negative posts. I suspect that was probably due to frustration of the situation by the poster rather than criticism of you personally. Have you considered looking for support by posting on a mental health website, as previously suggested by @LizzieNI. Why don't you take a look to see what's out there. The following link may be a good start for you. http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/a-z-mental-health/ Remember, people care about you & you're clearly loved by your parents. Be brave & seek help. My very best wishes.

AJ10. X
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I suggested elefriends, lovely site and it has a button to press for urgent help too x
 
Hey I have been through exactly what you're experiencing when I was at university! It was stressful, I didn't care what I ate and didn't except that I had to take control of myself, always had ketones and because I was high all the time, became normality for me and didn't think anything of it. I too got diagnosed with depression at this point and struggled through.

I am out of this stage now - the advice I can really give to you is just keeping positive and being in the mindset of living every day like it's your last. If you have supportive family and friends or partner let them in - in the way that they eat what we are supposed to eat and help you through the process so they are experiencing it with you.

If you want to talk more in detail please message me :) I have been exactly what you have been through and know how hard it is and becoming oblivious to the damage you're doing to yourself. This is what this forum is for :)
 
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