Next case, bailiff.
Case 3046, M'Lud..drunk & merry over Xmas.
" How does the defendant plead.."
"Not guilty your Honur.."
"So be it,..Your witness, Mr Ness"
"So you claim not GUILTY, yet you were plainly observed by 'officer Dibble' to be on the streets in a merry condition, shouting out 'Merry Xmas'; to complete strangers...having been observed exiting a property where loud music and much singing could be heard"
"Further more, The officer upon detaining you, smelt Alcohol on your breath, and a distinct odours of CAKE, and observed some cake crumbs on your top.."
" i think the vernacular as you Brits say.. is BANG to RIGHTS....
I put it to you that on the night of the 25 of Dec, you did, of your own volition, partake of Alcohol, to whit several cans of Guiness, one or two Vodka and tonics AND more then one slice of sara Lee, summer fruit Gateau......
i think the evidence speaks for itself ladies & Gentleman of the Jury
No more questions your Honour...Your witness, Madame,..."
" thank you, my learned friend...
ladies & Gentlemen of the Jury, the defence has no dispute that my client was, as alleged..at the aforementioned party
So i will make this simple for everyone...Mr JJ, did you commit the acts you stand here accused of..?"
"No."
" So my M'Lud, this is clearly a mistake on the officers part,
These action as my clients states Did NOT happen...and with your indulgence i will prove it."
"Go ahead Madame Councel,, but keep to the facts, i will have none of your theatrics in MY court,
is that clear ?"
"Yes, M'Lud, crystal clear "
"Mr JJ..are you type 2 Diabetic..?"
"Yes."
" Do you self test your Blood sugar levels..?"
"Yes, Ma'am"
" and Can you tell the court what your FBG was the next Morning, after this 'Alleged' offence took place..?"
"5.6 "
"Louder, so the court can hear you "
"5.6"....(gasps from the jury as the judge slams down the Gavel..."
"M'Lud, the defence would like to enter into the court, Exhibit A..the very Glucose Meter used by my client, clearly showing the reading for the Morning of the 26th ..."..<loud talking in the court>
"ORDER. ORDER in the Court.....!!"(gavel slams repeatedly)
"After careful review of Exhibit A, i can see no evidence to support the claims against you.
Clearly there has been some mistaken, here."
"The court finds you NOT GUILTY! "
"You are free to leave, Mr JJ"
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Result...hopefully it was all the walking we did yesterday..not one taxi to anywhere...so saved money too..
Have a wonderful 2nd day of christmas..( Like that..Sounds much nicer then Boxing day )
in both the court and the morning after the night before!!!
)
